Better Dieting Through Cake
June 16, 2009 NOTE: Now really isn't the time to start eating that bagel - or anything else, for that matter. :D
So, are you ready for swimsuit season? No? Then join the Cake Wrecks Appetite-Suppression Program, and get a thinner you in no time!
Yes, that's right! With a steady "visual diet" of Wrecks like these:
You'll find yourself craving all foods less and less!
For example: Are you having a hard time saying "no" to fatty animal shanks? (Because, really, who isn't?) Well, with our proven "You'll Hope They're Cloves!" model, you're guaranteed to never desire streaky blackened meat-on-the-bone ever again!
You're already reconsidering that lunch order, aren't you? Now imagine the results you'll get with a full 24/7 regimen!
It's so easy! The Cake Wrecks Appetite-Suppression Program contains a heart-healthy sculpted-cake medley of:
Disgusting food products...
(Red meat, green meat, meat that oozes, meat that's rare...)Enlarged insects...
(Post-stompage for maximum effectiveness)
(Just a little dab'll do ya!)All guaranteed to get you the results you want!
And for those dieting emergencies when you need an extra-strength dose of appetite suppressing Wreckage, there's our special "medical specimens" selection:
Filled with jelly, so you won't fill your belly!Melinda A., Tricia A., Kathleen, Jenn J., Kristin, & Debra F., eat your heart out.
Or don't, 'cuz that's kinda gross.
*Related Wreckage: The Cake Head Diet Aid
Reader Comments (144)
I feel ill now.
so gross!
Thank you so much - I was planing on fasting today, and this did the trick!
GROSS!
The heart is just so... shiny... *shudder*
Yes, my appetite is gone. Lost forever. It worked!
ewww... i think i just lost my appetite for tomorrow and the day after that.
Those are disgusting!
But the heart cake is kind of cool. Eat your heart out! LOL
~Amy B.
wv: worse "those cakes are worse than I could've ever imagined."
That is just foul
Well! Started off yesterday with a little bit of vomit thanks to my son; seriously having a hard time avoiding a deja vu experience...yuck!
The bug one, I gotta say, is kinda cool. The best kinda bug is a dead one as far as I'm concerned!
The poo-pile cake is indeed poo-ey; the condensation on the inside of the lid makes it seem even more realistic and "steamy". Like they are FRESH piles. EW.
The heart one is awesome. Not in anyway shape or form edible, but still awesome! I'd LOVE to see it stabbed with a sharp object and see the jelly squirt! :)
I can't imagine what celebration would call for a red jelly filled heart cake? Are people crazy? Are they trying to gross out their guests? Seriously? Keep up the good work - I have several pounds to lose!
I wasn't too grossed out until you mentioned the jelly in the heart for full effect. That pushed it over the edge.
Nothing right about any of these cakes. . . I threw up a little in my mouth. Just a bit. . .
Or: "a little dab'll DOO ya!"
That meat one looks like it has grill-marked larvae slithering over the top. And what's in the top right corner of that one? A recent hatching?
Nas-tay!
(and hilarious, as always.)
I just ate lunch prior to checking out your blog today. Now, I'm full of regret, and...um,urp...excuse me, I just threw up a little in my mouth!
This post almost made me throw up in my mouth.
BARF! makes me want to puke. seriously!!
For the poster that saw a muffin and a cinnamon bun in that "meat" one ... I had to look closely (you're welcome) and I do believe the "muffin" is a filet mignon complete with the wrapping of bacon, and the "cinnamon bun" is a beef pinwheel stuffed with spinach and cheese. I have eaten both of these in their real form, but thank God never as a cake.
Wow, I've seen some disgusting specimen here before, but these take the cake. (ha!)
Seriously, though, I didn't wholly believe they could be that bad, but leading off with the pus oozing carrots... yep, that pretty much did it.
These cakes are so disgusting, I almost peed my pants. I couldn't figure out whether to laught or gag!
I just threw up in my mouth alittle...
All I can say is.... "wow"
that one looks like a pile of plastic food, to be honest. Bleh.
So am I the only one who wasn't thoroughly grossed out by all of that? I'm not sure I would want to actually eat any of them, but I for one am still looking forward to dinner.
Oh, and the "eat your heart out" comment made me laugh. :)
Eat your heart out!
Serve your heart on a platter!
That one was actually really impressive
I knew I should have held off on lunch. I just threw up a little in my mouth.
WOW, i'm glad i ate breakfast Before i read this post
Those were so wrong. Who comes up these designs?
I have to say, the heart is kinda cool. Maybe that's just the nurse-geek in me talking...
My head's spinning, I'm that nauseous.
Grossssss...!
I'm honestly the most grossed out by the oozing carrots because they're actually oozing-- like for real!! *retches*
Ohhhhhhh...that pile of meats is just horrid ! I almost gagged...
I just gave my English muffin to the dog.
That's all I'm sayin...
Gawd. That heart cake is so accurate that I could use it to point out exactly which ones of my coronary arteries are trashed.
All together now: EWWWWWWW!!!!!
The very first thing I though when I saw the 'turkey leg' was "OMG AN ILLITHID!" but then I realized that an Illithid cake would looke so much cooler than that thing.
These are hilarious! And not gross at all to me (if fact Im eating a peanut butter and cherry jam right now)
I have an ironclad alibi for not being aroused by these specimens...it is that I also have an ironclad stomach.
BUT, I'm really worrying about the big-hearted cake being able to survive! See, it hasn't got all of its parts-(!)- barely seems to be getting by (!), with just its superior vena cava hanging out. I don't like having to ventricle my anguish this way, but ...but...it's making me crazy!
Why, aorta....!
=^>.<^=
Sadly, Cakewrecks is my lunch time treat :-(
That first cake definitely looks like a sashimi special...
I feel thinner already!
The only cake that really looks disgusting to me is the first one with the melting frosting carrots. Yeck! However the meat cake, while oddly colored (they all have grill marks but are bright red? Don't think so!) is actually pretty accurately depicted, and the heart cake is just awesome detail-wise.
wv. Aloaftiz, the first sentence I'll say when I get to Hawaii to visit my friend Ftiz. Aloaftiz!
My stomach is so strong, I'm still hungry. Not that I'd eat any of those cakes!
I love meat cakes! I've always wanted them to make a suitable heart pan. (Although liver would most likely be easier.) I'm sad you can only make jello hearts. I love them!
Funny stuff! Where do you find all these photos by the way?
I think the first cake is a winner. Who wouldn't want a few slices of salmon sushi and a blob of green horseradish on their cake????
Been reading for a while, but this is my first time commenting. I felt compelled to let you know the pile 'o meat cake reduced me to a snorting, crying blob. I really, particularly liked the streaky marching poo.
And... I'm officially repulsed by cake now... my arteries thank you.
Okay, the Heart cake is well done, but good god - no one outside of the medical community can eat it.
that's almost enough to put me off cake.
I'm getting a total sashimi vibe from whatever that's supposed to be on the first cake. Say, I wonder if anyone's done sushi cakes yet?
KILL THEM WITH FIRE! D=
Why? That's what all those cakes leave me thinking.