Saturday
Nov282009
A Fine Feathered Salute
November 28, 2009 NOTE: Today's post contains material (namely icing) in unintentionally unseemly shapes. There are also some poop jokes. If you are offended by unintentionally unseemly icing shapes or poop jokes, you will not like today's post. In other words: Hide the children!!
That said, everything here is safe for work (as always) and will most likely sail cleanly over the heads of the very young. Still, parents should note that CW has always been, and always will be, a PG-rated site.
Now, on to the unintentionally unseemly icing shapes!
Last week we established pretty much every possible way turkey cakes can be wrecked...except one.You see, turkey cakes have two inherent flaws. First, they're made out of chocolate icing...
which looks like poo.This you know.
However, the other problem - which I have avoided mentioning until now - is that they also tend to have long skinny bodies and blobular heads, which can look, well...
a little stiff.
The turkey poo-wang.(Nice "legs.")
Here's another:
This guy looks pretty shocked. Think that's because his beak fell off, or because he's so surprisingly out of proportion?**ACTUAL DIALOGUE WHILE WRITING THIS POST:Me: I'm not sure about "surprisingly out of proportion."John: Why, what's wrong with it?Me: Well, it's quite a mouthful.John: [screeching laughter]
Me: [innocently] What?
Turkey: the other dark meat.
Katey S., Owen H., Paula W., Laura I., & Lola P., these Wrecks give new meaning to "giving you the bird," don't they?
- Related Wreckage: Butterfly Misses
Reader Comments (118)
okay, that post brought tears of laughter to my face. surprisingly out of proportion indeed. Thanks!
That's too funny!!
I think the turkey poo-wang cake is adorable! It's so goofy that it has achieved cuteness.
i would be so embarassed to serve any poo wang turkey cakes at any type of get-together. Especially ones that are out of proportion. Although, the upside....it would definately be the talk of the party.
wv: nuges. these cakes are all nuges. they need pants.
that last poo wang could trim his foliage a bit.
WV: Nother. I didn't think there was a nother way to mess up these cakes, but I was wrong.
uhh...yep. those are definitely wangs.
love these cakes! i wonder in the turkey world if size does matter? some of that plumage is mighty big.
Phallic poo - I love it!
Todd said... "Turkey Poo-Wang" would be an AWESOME name for a band.
OMG, "poo wang"! Too funny!
I saw a pretty phallic rendition of the turkey cake on Fail Blog and assumed it was one of your beauties. Do cake decorators honestly not make the connection between the turkey head/neck combo and the "stiffie"?Your words, Jen... your words.
I am convinced that these wrecks are caused by the designers for a catalogue purposely making phallic designs just to see if the grocery store bakery staff that end up making the thanksgiving cakes will actually do it without a second thought.
Yep, gave giving her the bidr a whole new connotation ;)
More evidence supporting my claim that we need a program to teach people what an actual turkey looks like.
... Maybe we also need to teach cake decorators what genitalia look like, so they'll know what not to do on a cake.
My grandmother has yet to stop laughing. We spent Thanksgiving laying a family member to rest, this is EXACTLY what we needed! Thanks so much Jen. Nothing like confectionary dildos to ease your greiving. :P
OMG! I'm still laughing! That last little guy might have some... envy... with the poo wang above him! That must be why his feathers are so big! He has little man syndrome!
Oh, that's rich... it's a poo-wang clan!
Snickering into my coffee...
Poo-wang! LOL and "giving the bird," indeed! These cakes are rather inappropriate for family gatherings, n'est-ce pas? #2 (*smirk*) is really crying those tears of blood today. ick!
Poo-wang looks a little relaxed. On a bed of lovely rose petals. How, er, romantic?
#4 looks like what my toddler produced when she was having witholding issues during potty training. After 8 days of self-induced constipation, she produced a whopper that stood straight up on end above the edge of her little potty insert. She called it the "rocketship poopy." If it had eyes and half a beak, it would look like #4!
that poo-wang looks a little like an amputee...
No offense, but how ignorant ARE these bakers, anyway?
Isn't there some point when you take a look and realize either:
A) Fix it.
B) Scrap it.
Or C) Take it home and NOT sell it to customers.
Seriously, how do these places stay in business?
Well, it should be obvious to everyone: Store bakeries do their share of equal opportunity hiring and hire blind cake decorators. That way they can't actually SEE what it is that they're putting on those cakes. That's the only explanation other than Meddygon's of the bakers just pushing the envelope a tad.
Oh my God, the term 'turkey poo wang' is the funniest thing I've haerd since 'coiled crap hound!'
Although the hilarity of today's cake are not even in question.. I can't believe you didn't see the worm eating...uhhh.... member in one of the "top ten"... I won't tell you which one, mostly because I want to make sure that it's not just my mind in the gutter! keep 'em comin' !
~maureen~
I must say I never will look at the Holidays the same way ever again.
How could one day bring so much laughter and joy into the world.
Wreck On!
oh Jen - so wrong, but yet soooo right! lol
ROFLMAO!!!!!!!!! Toooooo funny!
snickering and snorting and peeing my pants.
simultaneously (i'm a multi-tasker).
gawd, this is a funny post.
My 4-year-old was looking over my shoulder and asked "Ewww, why are you looking a poopy turkeys?" LOL I guess that says it all!
I can't say I ever expected to read the words "turkey", "poo" and "wang" in the same sentence, never mind lumped together as a title!
I should've remembered the coiled crap hound....
I've never met John yet can totally imagine that moment of laughter. :)
wv: amaters...Unpaid hobbyists, as in, most amaters I know can still decorate better than wang-poo!
that was quite a mouthful *ahem*
the first one looks like poo on a bed of hot dogs. which makes it worse somehow.
I also think the first turkey looks like a flasher holding open his multi-colored rain coat.
You guys are hilarious!
LOL.... oh boy did I ever need this laugh this morning, thanks!!!!
Especially the part where you started laughing innocently because you didn't get why John was laughing. That's a good one. You're so cute, Jen.
Thanks for all these turkey wrecks this week, they were great!
I love that the bakery was so proud of turkey poo-wang #1 that they put it on a little stand for better viewing. I too think the little guy looks like a flasher in a raincoat --
awesome commentary Jen!
What ever happened to a nice decent pumpkin pie??? lol
Eeeeewww. Cakes are supposed to be appetizing, not nausea-inducing!
I laughed til i nearly wet myself!
My throat hurts from laughing so hard. Thanks for that!
smile smile smile
Oh. My. God. *dies*
Thank you for the "hide the children" warning. I appreciate it. :)
WV: intankini: these turkeys could benefit if there were intankinis. :)
Mr Happy Turkey is Really Happy! Standing right up there at attention, he is.
Don't worry about kids. They're not 'offendable' when it comes to poo or penises. Especially boys. In fact, they're the worst offenders. I live in a house of men. I know.
I wonder how many wrecktastic designers are seriously repressed? These poo-wangs seem to be a recurring theme!
Oh my goodness..lol! Never read this blog while in a public library! Tears in my eyes and my face is all red. Really made my day.
turkey poop wang! Ha ha ha ha HA!
I actually laughed outloud at the conversation you & John had, too funny. I love this website!
WV: gergi
An orgie with a gobble, gobble twist, you know as in those cake were about to take part in a gergi.
Can't
Stop
Laughing.
You rock.
the "turkey poo wang" - wonderful!
Oh YUCK! I can't believe that bakers don't realize these cakes look so unappetizing. I sometimes wonder if some of these are done by disgruntled decorators. How can they NOT see what we're seeing?!