Hey, Bebeh
January 8, 2009 "Girl, you lookin' fine. Why don't you come over here, and give daddy a lil' sugar?"
"Check it. I've got a spiky polar-bear-skin rug for us to lounge on, and some suh-weet champagne glasses the size of water coolers. I even put on my navy blue tighty-whities, 'cuz I know how much you dig those.
"What's that, kitten? You like the light blue ones better? No problem."
[patting rug] "This cracked concrete floor is hard, baby, but not as hard as...er...my...devotion to you? Yeah. Yeah, that's it. Hey, kids! What are you doing in here? Amscray, will ya?"
"That's better. Now, where were we? Ah, yes, talking about how lucky you are - or at least how lucky you're gonna be. [waggling eyebrows] Aww yeaaah. This sea I'm lying in is the ocean of my love, and it's all for you, girl, it's all for you. [wink wink]
"What's a matter, doll? Still not convinced? How 'bout if I do some leg lifts?"
"My sticker may say 'yellow', pudd'n, but this here treat is pure chocolate, if you know what I'm sayin'."
I don't know about you, Aimee T., Lisa C., J.B., and Becky B., but I am definitely in the mood - for cake.
Reader Comments (323)
Good GOD! A Burt Reynolds Cake!
Aaauuuuggghhhh! Yuck!
Sorry, I just find guys in spandex undies really gross.
I haven't laughed that hard for a long time. What the heck are they thinking? I do have to comment that the round cake seems to be well done except for that crap on the top. (And obviously the "polar bear" rug.)
Hehe, just like the infamous "Lucky Lady" window painting on one of the panaderías in my hometown...
http://flickr.com/photos/kellybelly/107869589/
I've heard of a bear skin rug, but a POLAR bear skin rug? I'm not feeling it.
it's the Don Bailey carpet guy!
http://www.donbaileyflooring.com/
Careful ladies, this is how carrot-riding babies with mohawks are made......
This just goes to show that the only thing that travels faster than bad news is a bad cake idea.
Re: the third cake...if you take out the "i-s" it looks like a perfectly spaced "Bett Getting Old." Methinks they did the old "who are the Chefs" thing and realized after they piped it that they were missing a word, so they squeezed it in and hoped no one would notice.
Judging by the comments on this blog, they were wrong.
OMG! I thought toilet cakes were the limit! These are crazy! Your commentary is SO fitting! I recently introduced your blog to my teenaged nieces and they love it! I'm sure they'll laugh their heads off at this post!
Jen,
While your comentary about had me in tears, reading the everybody comments from top to bottom has just put me over the top...
The tears are flowing because I'm laughing my @ss off. Everyone here is in rare form today.
That cake could be even better if the 'muscle' man was loading the dishwasher.
I'm just sayin...
Seriously there are more than one of these cakes!!
LMAO @ the convo. It was deliciously tacky. Loved it!
I love the spiky, painful looking rugs! I think the only way these cake could be better (worse?) is if the rug was a CCC.
"...both topical and tasteless..."
"Hermie wants to be a stripper."
"I getta lick the guy!"
How did I live before I found this blog?
I love how Ken #2 and #4 have heads much lighter then their bodies. They must have been baked wrong in the tanning booth.
WV: unidat. I fear they're not wearing something unidat!
what the HELL is up with these?!? Please tell me this isn't a trend.
Oy vey. Scary as hell. ... I'm surprised they didn't use black icing to make the doll's chest hair. o.o
*uncontrolled giggling*
BTW, what is UP with the giant champagne glasses?
Um, I just sent this link to my husband and friends with the note "I want this for my 30th Birthday Party."
Is that wrong?
The sad part is that it didn't just stop with one.
Your commentary is PRICELESS!!! OMG, these are so awesomely bad!!!
My personal favorite is the last one - because it so OBVIOUSLY is not a special order - it's just done up, put out there in the store, waiting for someone to decide to take him home. That in and of itself is so horrifyingly hilarious.
WV - wootter - is it just me that's thinking naughty thoughts??
OMG I'm dying laughing! Tears in my eyes. Thanks Jen, I needed this today!
WHY, when I read Jen's commentary, is the only thing I can think of is the Ben Affleck/Kristen Wiig "Target Lady" skit from SNL?!
wvotd: alses. You can all bet your alses these cakes are disgusting!
Oh, Oh, Oh, my side hurts from laughing so hard!!!
Funnies. Post. Ever.
and some day, i want that cake. . . or Tom Seleck, one of the two
Ummmm ... still trying to wrap my brain around the fact that some one, some where, decided there was a need for those plastic guys, and then followed through and made them. "Hey, where do you work?" "I work in the factory that makes the little plastic, speedo wearing guys for cakes."
Oh wow...I would not be able to eat if someone set this cake in front of me. Sick...
OMG...are those cakes based on THIS?
http://www.cinematical.com/2005/07/18/vintage-image-of-the-day-the-burt-reynolds-centerfold/
I think that's something that should have been left to die a quiet death in obscurity... o.O
Spot on commentary; I fell off the chair laughing at the post and the comments.... HA!
Ah, the "Macho Man" kit sold by Bakery Crafts:
https://www.bakerycrafts.com/Home/Catalog/tabid/134/Default.aspx?WebTab=CAKEKIT&TabCategory=CKADULT&ItemType=
Sadly, the example cake doesn't look much better than the wrecked versions.
WV= belessin.
It's a belessin this cake isn't ordered very often.
I just want to say...thank you for making me laugh aloud. Every. Single. Day!! Robin
"Careful ladies, this is how carrot-riding babies with mohawks are made......"
I think I just peed my pants.
LOL! yes, the funniest post ever!
Apparently there was a memo that went out on this "idea", since these are not from the same bakery?
Hysterical...and scary.
My birthday is in November - who's getting me one of these?
My parents bought me a cake JUST LIKE the first one on my 18th birthday - that was 21 years ago. You'd think they'd have come up with something different by now.
You are absolutely hilarious! The dialogue in this post almost made me pee in my pants!!
Aaaargh , whol buys this "cake"
Friends, March 27th, this is my cake. Until you come up with another one even more ghetto fabulous, which is, well, very doubtful.
jen, would that be you're in the mood for BEEFcake?
LMAO.
What does CW1 say-- "Links"?
And CW3 (or 2?) -- Betti's getting old? Or is it supposed to be "Bett is getting old"?
too funny.
ps-until i saw "polar bear rug," i thought guy #1 was lying in a marshmallow mountain.
I know Jerome Bettis is getting old, but do we need a whole cake with a scantily clad man to mark the passing of years?
Besides, he and I were born in the same year! Sheesh, people!
I think this may be a reference to Burt Reynolds Playgirl centerfold. It is the same pose on a bearskin rug. Just google it.
Its a booty call cake style...bwahahahahaha.
No! I refuse to believe that there was actually more than one of these made! Ick!
And that first cake looks like he's lying on the Stay Puft marshmallow man.
This post was the funniest I've seen in a while!!!
eewww...it's like eating the bed of a scantily clad gigolo. *Shudder*
I keep hearing...
Fly to me my ladybug...
that's you (wink)...
in the misty morning.
The Jack-in-the-Box Commercial that won't go away.
My nearly 4-year-old said, "Wow, that's a man cake. And he's in the snow, & I think he's a candle." For some reason "man cake" cracked me up almost as much as Jen's commentary.
I managed to stay composed until I got to the "leg lifts".....
...howling...