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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Wednesday
Sep102008

The Cake Head Diet Aid: Killing Appetites Since 2007

We've all been there: six weeks of rigorous dieting, all ruined by the sugar-paste encrusted morsels at cousin Jill's wedding. But what is today's bride to do? Is it possible to have the wedding cake of your dreams while still showing consideration to your dieting guests?

Yes, it is!

Introducing the Cake Head Diet Aid!


That's right, folks, just place the professionally decorated Cake Head Diet Aid alongside your wedding cake. It's that easy! In addition to being a delicious red velvet groom's cake, the Cake Head Diet Aid will effectively dissuade all but your most ravenous and/or non-squeamish of guests from indulging in the gut-busting baked goods. Guaranteed!

Here's what our happy customers are saying about the Cake Head Diet Aid:

"The children ran screaming - no sugar buzzed hellions at the reception! Thank you, Cake Head Diet Aid!"

"Never have I wanted to eat cake less. Just the thought of your product has kept me up nights, and I've lost over 15 pounds!"

"When my husband said the wrong name at the altar, I was ready to kill him. Slicing into the Cake Head Diet Aid, however, helped me vent enough of that murderous rage to make it to the annulment. And the jam filling - oh, that was the best part!"

As a bonus, your Cake Head Diet Aid is completely customizable! From football helmets to sunglasses, iPod earbuds to nose rings, you can make your Cake Head Diet Aid the spitting image of your husband-to-be while incorporating his favorite hobbies!

So girls, be kind to your guests waistlines while giving your guy his just desserts: order the Cake Head Diet Aid today!

Michelle D., I bet these work great at birthdays, too.

UPDATE: Alright, all you PhotoShop nay-sayers: there IS such a thing as edible image printing, mkay? I also verified that this came off a professional bakery's portfolio site, so chill wit' da hatin' , yo.

« Don't Do It, Billy! | Main | The Painted Cake Cometh »

Reader Comments (193)

What in the name of Sam Hill is that thing??!! And why does he have that expression? Like he's waiting for death??? GAHHHHHHHH

September 10, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterShay

I don't know which question rattles my brain more: HOW is that possible, or WHY anyone would do that?! It looks too real and is VERY scary!

September 10, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

It looks like a trimmed photo just stuck in there. Still, it is creepy. The expression on the face is what does it. So resigned to the coming carving.

September 10, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterSleepwalker

Okay Jen. You win.

Most of this site is just amusing beyond belief. Although--until now--you hadn't posted a cake that I wouldn't eat. I would have taken delight in carving up and munching those creepier than crap clowns a few posts ago. I'd have even nibbled at the sushi cake. But this? No freaking way.

Also, I agree with the first anonymous poster. Decorator needs a career change! STAT!

September 10, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Um....ew! How do you decide who gets to eat which part of the cake? "I'll take his nose!"

September 10, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAkinoluna - a female Marine

I'm pretty convinced the face was photoshopped into this one. But it's uber-creepy!

September 10, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

wait.. is it just the helmet that's the cake? the head itself looks like a real person. if that's also cake, then DANG!

September 10, 2008 | Unregistered Commentermere9

Wow. And the weird thing is, the helmet clearly looks like frosting, but the face is creepily realistic. It's like a real severed head with a frosting helmet. Kudos to the decorator. I wonder how much therapy he or she needs now as a result.

September 10, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterNathalie

what would possess someone to request a cake like that?

thanks for the nightmares!

September 10, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterSarah

um... you with the camera... I'm stuck under here. Please help me???

September 10, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterLisa

Wow.

In general, I haven't been as horrified as other when you've presented, say, baby-shaped shower cakes. But this... this is just disturbing.

September 10, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterJessica

I... uh... it's... ummmmm...
You know...

Aw crap, IT'S A DECAPITATED HEAD!!!

September 10, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterFluffy Cow

That cannot be real. Is it? How? Prove it!

September 10, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnjanette

Aaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!

Holy crap on a stick, that scares the hell out of me!!!

September 10, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterLinda

That cake seriously looks JUST like this local high school football player that died of heat exhaustion a few weeks ago. They kept plastering his image all over the news. Ewww.

September 10, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterLisa

that was so creeey! i know decorators go for "realistic", but that was over the top. shivver...

September 10, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

there is no way this can be real... no way. i think it's the eyes. totally creepy.

September 10, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Pika23 - you can have the whole cake, I don't think anyone will fight you for it. O M G. If his mother was there, did she faint?

September 10, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterEmery of LJ

Looks fake to me. The face looks photoshopped on.

September 10, 2008 | Unregistered Commentersquirrelchops

Is it possible to create a cake veil to put over the cake head so you won't know which part of the head you just cut into?
Then again that might make it into a bigger wreck.

*cringes*

That's good for putting on your front patio during Holloween tho'....

-Amy

September 10, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Maybe the decorator *IS* a mortuary cosmetologist? Does this on the side? (shivers)

Seriously, the red velvet would just make the blood and gore thing that much more realistic. Hey..this could be entertaining, too! :o)

~Amy

September 10, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

this beats the scary baby casket er bassinett by far.
i couldn't eat this, no way.
very disturbing to say the least!

September 10, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterCarrie

That was the catcher who fumbled the ball, right? Ewww.

September 10, 2008 | Unregistered Commentermsyendor

Are we sure this isn't Photoshop? If not, can the person who originally submitted this clarify what was used for the face? I'm guessing photo transfer...but that looks a little too neat to be real. --hep

September 10, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

This, well, it takes the cake.

September 10, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterGeo

oh great, no sleep for me tonight!

September 10, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterVal Cox

pmsl.... he looks so real!!

but why does he look so sad?

can't a head cake have a smile on it?

September 10, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterGallifrey

The face is reflecting on the bottom.

September 10, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterLiz

I am convinced that the face is either photoshopped in or is simply an 8x10 photo trimmed to fit. That would explain the odd angle at the jawline as well as the fact that something is indeed odd about the lower left corner. (As if the whole thing were not odd enough.) The helmet is pretty neat looking though!

September 10, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterJennifer

also... what is behind him, it looks like a skunk's bum cake!

September 10, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterGallifrey

Beyond creepy!! Oh, good grief! Who wants to eat a decapitated football player?

September 10, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMeg

That is seriously freaking scary.

September 10, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterKierra

I can vouch for edible photo printing - I've had the great pleasure of chopping the head off my father in law on a badly thought through 50th birthday cake.

September 10, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterNicho

Someone is very, very talented or very, very sneaky. It looks too realistic. Photoshop? Air Brush? Artist? I can't decide.

September 10, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterNykie

Insanity! That is total insanity! Love the diet aid testimonials...

September 10, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterEmily

Gotta say, The jam thing made my stomach churn! Lol!

September 10, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterRosa

Ok, I don't comment often, but omgoodness that's just wrong. So many levels and so many ways wrong. Horrible!

September 10, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterDoodleBunz

I have to say that the first thought that came to mind was the monkey scene from "Faces of Death," that has been forever burned into my brain after my older brother made me watch it as a kid. So this cake as a diet aid? ABSOLUTELY!!

September 10, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterelizabeth

Worked for me! I'm never eating again.

September 10, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterJulie

I smell a photoshop.

September 10, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterSpork In the Eye

This is one of those things where you have to ask yourself just what part of some person's brain thought this was a good idea.

And like a couple others, I can vouch for the existance of edible transfers for cakes. I've seen them used in challenges on the Food Network, on an episode or two of Ace of Cakes, and heard them referenced in the cake design/ordering segment of several wedding planning shows. They can look surprisingly clear.

I just can't imagine why anyone would think the groom's mournful face would be an appetizing image.

September 10, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterTwistie

I just have to say this is the first time a blog has ever scared the you know what out of me. I've had this *thing* about severed heads ever since I saw The Omen when I was a kid. I don't do decapitation. Period.
I swear if someone served me that I probably would have screamed and ran.
Blah...I still have goosebumps after looking at it.

September 10, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterLeslie

Maybe I'm dead to horror for the minute, but the first thing I thought was, "why is the helmet PINK?" I mean, I understand it's a wedding cake, but it's still a bit incongruous... ;-)

September 10, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterkannie

sick

September 10, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

What I want to know is what the hell is on the cake platter behind the head? Another body part?

You know what REALLY grosses me out about this cake? Eyebrows. Man, I get totally put off by hairs in my food, but the thought of eating an eyebrow, even one made of edible ink, just...er...ummmm... 'scuse me...!

September 10, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMs. Karen

Where did this come from? Cannibal cakes? Yuck.

September 10, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Dude who thinks up these things... that cake looked creepy.

September 10, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterSunshine

Sadly, I agree with the above poster that this blog has definitely jumped the shark. This is so boviously photoshopped.

Yes, there are such things as edible printed images, but if you look at the edges of the "image" they don't line up properly with the planes of the cake. Also, if you look at the nostrils, you can definitely tell something is up.

Just because it is decent photoshop, doesn't change the fact that it is still photoshop.

Pretty please, less photoshop and intentionally staged wrecks, and more baby carrot jockies, por favor!

September 10, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterJulia

John the Baptist for dessert, anyone?

September 10, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterLady Snark

I think it's the lighting that is making the helmet seem pink--the tablecloth, which I think I can safely assume is white, is the same color. Probably a white helmet.

This does, however, seem like a really good idea for a Halloween cake...

September 10, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterOraxia

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