Play It Again, Wrecks.
August 11, 2008 Proving that the lightning of horrendous taste does indeed strike more than once, here are some designs that may look a wee bit familiar:
Remember this?
Here's another bride who thought an edible version of herself was a smashing idea:
We can only hope that the baker wasn't finished when this photo was taken, of course. I would assume this is the "topper" for an edible skirt - but it's anyone's guess why there are no arms.
This just might be more disturbing than the original Wreck, since there isn't even a possibility of the front end existing. It's just a bisected baby with waxy-looking legs being cruelly taunted with that tiny little teddy bear. I mean, really, how's she supposed to play with that? Sheesh, some people are so insensitive...But(t) wait: there's more! Yes, if that doesn't strike your fancy, here's an assortment of bums to choose from - with the added dubious advantage of looking absolutely nothing like a baby's lower half:
Continuing the shower theme (since it tends to be the worst offender), let's move on to the Wreck that introduced the word "wachungas" into my vocabulary:
As many of you have pointed out, this is actually a beautifully done cake: it's just a wrecktastic design. Brace yourself, though, because this is about to become a veritable beacon of subtlety and good taste. Ready? Here goes...
I think I saw this outfit modeled on one of Maury Povich's "Who's the Daddy?" episodes.
But even that is restrained compared to this:
Because every woman who's 8 months pregnant just loves getting Brazilians and lounging in a teensy tiny bikini...with her stethoscope.
Um. What?
Oh, wait, I get it! The stethoscope is cold, see? That explains the whole Cuban missile crisis issue going on up there, if ya knowuddamean.
And lastly, please put down any food or beverage items, because I unfortunately must remind you of this dry-heave-inducing creation:
Everyone still have those beverages at a safe distance? No food in your mouths? Ok, good. Proceed.
And with that, I will leave you. Enjoy your lunches now, y'hear?
Thanks to Joy D., Stephanie F., Summer, Marz, & J.B. for the photos.
Reader Comments (112)
Ok..I am having a really hard time this time deciding which is worse! The oversized head on the bride (with a reaally creepy grin), the "creole" preggers revulsion or the last one.
Who in the heck would think warts and toenail fungus is eatable on a cake? I took your advice and put down my food before viewing.
Those cakes are a hoot. I can't imagine requesting a cake to look like a baby ass or a baby belly...I think I'll stick with a plain chocolate or PB sheet cake...those can't be messed up!
Oh my. That first pregnant belly cake is also improved by the fact that it doesn't have limbs sticking out of it. The severed body parts look going on in that second one especially - ewwwwwwwww. I don't even know what piece of the cake you'd want on either of those two. Severed neck? Erect nipple? Over-exposed groin?
OMG & LOL !!!!!!!!!!!
You've outdone yourself! I'm laughing so hard my sides hurt! Geez, those are some BAAAADDD cake wrecks!
"Cuban missile crisis" HILARIOUS! My husband would say, "T**S at the ready!" :-)
OK love your blog, not sure if I've commented before. You are hilarious and at first I couldn't believe the stuff you were finding out there.
Well that was until my baby shower this weekend. I promise I'm not spamming you, just check out my blog to see what I'm talking about:
http://lisaispreggers.blogspot.com/2008/08/one-for-cake-wrecks-how-appropriate-for.html
Wow, I don't even have the words...
:)
can I just say that I am VERY glad that they refrained from adding the swollen labia that come with pregnancy to that 2nd belly cake? I mean the addition of the gigantic nipples is enough reality for a confection!
That foot is the grossest thing I've ever seen. I couldn't possibly eat it. It's worse than the original foot, I think. These are ALL horrible though. From creepy to revolting...
The baby bottom cake first posted is a work of art compared to the sausage-legs coming out of the other "bottoms".
Why, WHY must people make a cake look like anything human? Are there some unaddressed cannabalistic tendencies here?
what is up with these cake "artist". i mean i can appreciate a unique cake with the best of them, but what? what!?! and those bride cakes... they're like some nightmare-ish homage to that tom petty video. and i'm not even touching those foot cakes. and i mean that literally. let's just hope that the cake isn't red velvet.
I can't believe people actually order these things!! The foot cake literally made me cringe! :o
Those toenails!! :((
The toenails! The toenails! Aaaaauuuuuugggghhhh!!!!!!!
????who asks for these things????
those round cakes with the deformed legs sticking out of them that are supposed to be baby butts and legs are just....wrong. so wrong.
I can explain the stethescope one, really I can! It MUST be a birthday cake for an OB-GYN! A male one. Right? LOL...
OOOOh, OOOh, OOOOH!!!!!! What in the....? Honestly, they are all just hideous! Some of those baby butt cakes are done so poorly that all it looks like is the circle cake with legs attached to the cake base. Seriously?!! At least ATTEMPT to make it look decent. Attach the limbs for heaven's sake!! I just don't get those! As for the prego cakes, I have no words to adequately describe what I'm seeeing. The one in the skimpy bikini and stethescope is just horrific. HORRIFIC. Those nipples definitely look like launch pads. I mean really? It's just absolutely ridiculous. And the feet cakes, I was actually gagging. Isn't cake supposed to conjur happy feelings? Nice warm, yummy feelings of what's to come? How can one possibly feel that looking at something that grotesque?!! Honestly, I just don't get people.
Oh wow... I mean, wow.
Those bridal cakes reminded me of Margaret Atwood's "The Edible Woman." Except creepier. Really creepier.
The first bridal shower cake, and in fact the baby bum, almost work. I'm not so horrified by them, but I have to aggree with kinni - erect nipples on a cake?
I can't even go on about the nail fungus and warts. Although I suppose I'm grateful there isn't any athelet's foot happening too!
Wow. Wow. Wow. Those are just unspeakably horrible.
No doubt the creole cake design was thought up by some sick pregophile who can't wait to take the first piece of the bikini bottom.
BLAH!
Oh good grief! That last one is just nasty, but the concept of eating a foot designed cake is just disgusting in and of itself.
The cold-pregnant bikini has me laughing. Who knew the first pregnant belly would ever look so dignified, eh?
Gotta love the baby bum cakes where they didn't even try to make the cake look like a baby bum. Poor execution of a poor design.
I really, REALLY appreciated your advice to put the beverages away before viewing the last cake... The ones that preceded it... lack of good taste, obviously, but the warty, footy, excuse me, must use the restroom...
Sorry, back. Um. Yeah.
That said, LOVE your wrecks, keep them coming!
Cut me off a piece of that va-ja-ja will ya - the orange icing looks DE-licious.
Jeez.
I can't help but wonder if the baby butt cakes are chocolate. Or lemon. Hee! {yes, I am immature}
Um. That last foot has YELLOW TOENAILS! Yuck. Yuck.
Anticipating cutting into the pregnant cakes, one can't help but think of a c-section... Yikes!
LMAO! Oh man, just when you thought it couldn't get worse - IT DOES!!!! BWAHAAA!!!
haha...the baby in the top left photo looks like she's been practicing some yoga. :) those are some *very* flexible little legs!
http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_wGr8njEWjtI/SKBYTr81RtI/AAAAAAAAAPQ/UUWvVuu3HEg/s1600-h/Stephanie+F.jpg
The foot (both of them) is revolting. How can anyone imagine that it would be eaten?
I found your blog a while ago, but only commented today. These really make me laugh!
I am so.. so frightened.. for the future of humanity.
My day is complete! Thanks!
oh that's awesome! one of the cakes I sent in got put up!
I LOVE CSI as much as anyone can, but these body-part-type cakes are just in poor taste...no matter the 'creativity' aspect.
But they do make for a humorous and slightly nauseating afternoon's viewing!!!
Massive kudos to Jen! :)
Wendy
that is disgusting... how do people actually cut into this with an appetite, and worse, EAT it? EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW
I can overlook new decorators trying new things. But when someone is good enough to make a warty foot with nail fungus look real ...........GAG!!!!!!!!!!!!
Nuh uh, no warts and nail fungus... not on feet and not on food.
Those are the funniest things I have ever seen. Those brides have to be those women you see that can't walk by a mirror without checking themselves out and either striking a pose or pursing their lips out.
Loved the tattoo on the pregnant belly cake, and that foot is DISGUSTING!
Arrggghhh!
My eyes!!
Make it stop!!!
Thanks for the evening chuckle.
If more people brought foot cakes to the office, I'd save a lot of calories!! Ain't no way I'd eat a slice of that.
As for the baby butt cakes --- I am an amateur cake decorator, and yes, I've been asked to do a cake in that style. Instead I opted for piping the baby onto a sheet cake -- his butt stuck out, but at least it wasn't that tasteless! The pic is as http://www.slycreations.com/cakes/97c9.jpg
The only way those bisected baby bums could be any worse is if they are princess tortes all covered in the worst confection ever - marzipan.
Eating "babies" and baby bellies and even the bride is bad even if it is only cake. I guess if you really think about it though it couldn't be any worse then the birthday parties that have the human characters for pinatas. What's worse eating a human or beating one with a stick? We all must be sick and wrong in one way or another :)
LOL! Why does the foot have pimples? I enjoy the second, erm, boobie cake - a stephescope? I guess they couldn't fit an ultrasound?
Those body cakes are made all the worse by the fact that I've seen real dead human torsoes when accompanying a friend to a uni open day. She's studying medicine, of course. There's something both inhuman and so very peopley about a torso without its limbs and head.
All of these cakes are very disturbing, but none so much as the last foot cake. Who thinks this is a good idea? I literally lost my appetite after seeing that.
Great site by the way! These cakes are hilarious.
OMG All of those make the original ones look way better, amazing as that sounds, LOL. Those were pretty bad, thanks again for the laugh. Makes me feel so much better about the cakes I make!!
Amy
oh.my.god. that last one is totally nasty. *shudder*
These cakes are wonderful diet aids! I lost my appetite when we got to the foot cakes.
Please, keep up the good work!
I can't believe no one has posted the link to the CreoleCakes "Naughty Cakes" page. The pregnant bikini is just the start:
http://creolecakes.multiply.com/photos/album/11/Naughty_Cakes
Ok, so I had to show the Edible Bride to my 3 and 5 year old daughters and they said, "Hey that cake looks just like that lady! Why?" From the youngest, "Mommy, why does she want to eat herself? Yuck." Exactly.
But the foot??? That takes the cake! LOL! GROSS
All those poor breach babies!
OMG! Do people not understand that this is a blog showing what shouldn't be done with cakes as opposed to some great idea list?!?
And to think I couldn't imagine the horse's a$$ could be outdone...