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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Monday
Aug112008

Play It Again, Wrecks.

Proving that the lightning of horrendous taste does indeed strike more than once, here are some designs that may look a wee bit familiar:

Remember this?
Here's another bride who thought an edible version of herself was a smashing idea:

We can only hope that the baker wasn't finished when this photo was taken, of course. I would assume this is the "topper" for an edible skirt - but it's anyone's guess why there are no arms.

Next up: remember the unforgettable baby bum cake? Well, it evidently started a trend:

This just might be more disturbing than the original Wreck, since there isn't even a possibility of the front end existing. It's just a bisected baby with waxy-looking legs being cruelly taunted with that tiny little teddy bear. I mean, really, how's she supposed to play with that? Sheesh, some people are so insensitive...

But(t) wait: there's more! Yes, if that doesn't strike your fancy, here's an assortment of bums to choose from - with the added dubious advantage of looking absolutely nothing like a baby's lower half:

Continuing the shower theme (since it tends to be the worst offender), let's move on to the Wreck that introduced the word "wachungas" into my vocabulary:

As many of you have pointed out, this is actually a beautifully done cake: it's just a wrecktastic design. Brace yourself, though, because this is about to become a veritable beacon of subtlety and good taste. Ready? Here goes...

I think I saw this outfit modeled on one of Maury Povich's "Who's the Daddy?" episodes.

But even that is restrained compared to this:

Because every woman who's 8 months pregnant just loves getting Brazilians and lounging in a teensy tiny bikini...with her stethoscope.

Um. What?

Oh, wait, I get it! The stethoscope is cold, see? That explains the whole Cuban missile crisis issue going on up there, if ya knowuddamean.

And lastly, please put down any food or beverage items, because I unfortunately must remind you of this dry-heave-inducing creation:

Everyone still have those beverages at a safe distance? No food in your mouths? Ok, good. Proceed.

And with that, I will leave you. Enjoy your lunches now, y'hear?

Thanks to Joy D., Stephanie F., Summer, Marz, & J.B. for the photos.

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Reader Comments (112)

I just discovered this blog today and have had a good ol' time looking at all the horror you've got here. Hilarious!

But the baby butt cakes have inspired perhaps one of the most inappropriate mental images possible... my initial reaction was, "Oh look, an array of cakes catering to the pedophile market."

"Hey, anyone want a piece of this baby's ass?" "Boy, DO I!"

I'm a bad person, but I couldn't resist. You can delete this one when you're moderating comments, if you want. I won't blame you. ;-)

September 16, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterZombie

How Cakewrecks has warped my brain: I keep hearing ads for "hand-shaped bread" and, after Cakewrecks, and especially this post, that makes me wonder: who would want bread shaped like a hand?

It always takes a second before my brain catches up and realizes they mean shaped BY hand.

September 16, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterKansas girl

Hey, I actually thought that first pregnancy cake was really cool. I would SO have that at my shower.

The other two, though - especially the bikini - yuck!

And the poor little lost feet are just sad. I mean, really.

October 17, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterFreedomFirst

I made a pregger torsso cake this month. I was telling my girlfriend about it the night before I made it and she stopped me and asked, "Wait, so they are going to eat her and her unborn child in cake form?"

"Yeah, pretty much..."

It turned out very nice but as I was making it, the image of them cutting in to it for the fist time never left my mind.

October 21, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterbrokenangelred

hi everyone! its so nice reading all your comments:) ..im the creator of the pregnant naughty cake with stethoscope!:)

that was a gift from a daughter to her OB-GYN Mom. Her mom also assisted my mom when my mom gave birth to me:)

i dont think it should be captioned as part of the cake wrecks coz that was solely made for a Doctor who retired and at the same time celebrated her birthday:)

anyways, thanks so much for including my cakes here.. i enjoyed reading your comments:)

November 9, 2008 | Unregistered Commentercreolecakes

I just found your blog and am starting at the beginning. Love it. I can't imagine a pregnancy cake? "Can I interest you in a piece of boob? No? Perhaps baby bump then?" Reminds me of Steele Magnolias and the armadillo cake. Thanks for the piece of . . .

March 14, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterIda

Ok, the deformed foot, second from last I believe? I believe that is what's called a "lotus foot" only unwrapped. In China it used to be practice to break and wrap up feet until they were only 3 inches long. INSANELY PAINFUL! However, they were rarely unwrapped, and now we see why. There were even cases of divorse when a man saw his wife's unbound foot. Likely it scared him for life.

March 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

i had to cover the pictures with my hand scrolling back up

October 12, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Wow! you have 101 pages of hilarious cakes!

October 19, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterRalph W.

I heard a lot of horror stories regarding the palatability of Wilton's fondant (a lot of tasters loathed it to bits), and here's hoping that the last cake (like the lotus foot one) is made of a low-brow fondant like that so I can peel the disgustingness off - ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!

December 5, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterwhizkidforte

OMG ...the toenails....OMG. Again my stomach churned. How could you eat it. No way...I just couldnt xx

October 7, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCupcakes Lady

One thing that makes me curious on that last picture... Who in their right mind would name their child Hoof?!? (Or give them the nickname Hoof?) XD what the heck is all I have to say!

December 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterHannah R.

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