Search

My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Thursday
May292008

This Made Me Laugh 'Til I Cried

So I was putzin' around on google image search, looking at cakes, of course, when I stumbled across this picture:

Which, you know, made me kind of curious.

So I went to the originating site of the photo and read the corresponding blog post. It's written by Scott of Basic Instructions, which you should definitely check out sometime. Anyway, by the time I finished reading his post I was crying with laughter, and I knew I could not post his cake photo without the whole story attached. I e-mailed him and got his permission, and so without further ado, here it is:

"I had a day job as an office manager for the Seattle office of an international firm. We found out that one of our employees was transferring to one of our offices in China. When one of our people would leave, we usually had a little wing-ding with drinks and cake on the departing employee's last Thursday in the office, so on Tuesday it fell to me to fax a cake order into our nearest Costco Bakery.

I should point out that on that day I had a headache so bad that it hurt to move my eyes. Ordering the cake was the last thing I did before I went home sick for the afternoon. As I filled out the order form, I realized that in addition to the personalized message ("Good Luck in China," in this case) we could also get a large decoration for no extra charge. I looked at the options and none of them were appropriate. They were all things like teddy bears, balloons, or race cars. Crap, in other words. I figured if none of them were appropriate, I might as well get something that made no sense whatsoever.

I put a check mark next to the word "Fireman."

The next morning (Wednesday), lying in bed just before getting up, my mind wandered over the previous day and all the things I had accomplished. My eyes snapped open as I thought, "What did I do!? Why did I order a fireman? That makes no sense!!! I'm going to look like an idiot!"

I went to work, intent on calling the Costco as soon as they opened and stopping the cake before it started. I still had a day before I was supposed to pick it up. I figured that should be plenty of time. After some effort, I got hold of the bakery manager, only to be told that the cake had already been made. It was too late. I figured I'd just have to stand up straight and take it like a man.

My wife and I went to Costco to pick up the cake. When I got to the bakery, this is what was waiting for me.

(see above picture)

Making the hose flesh-toned had been a very bad move.

At first all I could do was blink at it and wonder, "Am I the only one who sees a giant wang?" I looked at my wife. She was blinking at the cake. An awkward silence and a few stammered sentences later we established that we both saw the same thing. A fireman holding an immense, dripping wang.

I could not serve this cake to my coworkers.

My first thought was that I would just absorb the cost of a second cake and pretend this never happened. Then I thought, "Wait a minute! This is not an erotic bakery! This is Costco! I should be able to order any stupid cake I want and be confident that it will not be sexually charged."

While at the checkout line I found a Costco employee to complain to, and showed him the cake. He blinked at it. I told him I was uncomfortable serving this cake at a place of business, and he started laughing and looking relieved.

Here’s what I came to realize about the cake. The obscene image was just obvious enough that you can't help but recognize it, but also obviously innocent enough that you don't want to say anything for fear that you're the only one who sees it.

Soon I was surrounded by several Costco employees who were looking at the cake and laughing. They explained that they had a new cake decorator who was a deeply religious woman from a foreign country, as if that explained everything. At one point while we were hammering out a settlement a woman happened by, caught a glimpse of the cake, covered her mouth and gasped. Good stuff."

« When Brides Have No Budget (Or Taste) | Main | Some Cakes Need No Commentary »

Reader Comments (124)

I guess the fireman's hat looked too much like a bow, or else the lapel too feminine, for me to see such a thing.

Or maybe I was just thrown off by the whole China thing and what the heck that had to do with not having any pressure in the fire hydrant.

May 30, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterJohn Gjertsen

The hat DOES look like a bow - and to be honest, I didn't see it before reading Scott's post, either. That just made it all the more amusing for me, though.

May 31, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterJen

At first I misread it as "Good duck in China".

Anyway, hilarious. I want chocolate cake now :( badly.

I really don't like the word verification. How do they expect me to spell "qscszszu" correctly?!

June 6, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterTora

To my eye, it does not help to dispel the unintended image when the words look like "Good Suck in China".

June 6, 2008 | Unregistered Commentersolak

My sis in law came across yer site, and sent out emails to check out this story...So, I did...I too thought that was a girl with a bow, watering "something".. *L* I would never have guessed that was a fireman.. (and my hubby is a volunteer fireman, he never looked like THAT!)... but it IS a funny story!! LMAO!

July 15, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterRoberta

Oh my god...this made me laugh so hard I almost made myself ill. Thanks for sharing!

July 23, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterbudgie

I kept waiting for the punchline. Didn't laugh once.

Better luck next time.

July 24, 2008 | Unregistered Commentermarta

pure
comedy
gold

July 24, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Oh Marta, you rapscallion!

July 24, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

That totally just made my night. LMAO!

July 24, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterDCSportsChick

Thank you for that. I needed the laugh.

July 25, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMissoula Redhead

You think that the moyel got hazard pay?

I never knew there was a strong anime tentacle porn market in pastries.

July 26, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterSeoul Brother

for those of you who said you didn't see a wang until it was pointed out to you, i don't believe it! i totally saw this one coming (no pun intended)...

July 27, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I thought I was dumb: didn't look like a fireman, "China" didn't fit and the hose didn't look "fleshy". THEN, after reading all of the comments, I nearly tinkled my panties from laughing! The best was the "good suck" and the moyel hazzard pay!!! Reminds me of the complaints the lottery received after advertising a game called "Crown Jewels". Several "religious right" ladies said the lottery was being vulgar by advertising "family" jewels!

Look for it, and you'll find it!

July 28, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

It's going to take me an hour to get over this one.... I'm laughing to the point that the muscles in the back of my head are hurting.

July 29, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterIan

This is hysterical. The "fireman" actually looks more like children's character Madeline, with a big red bow in her hair, holding the obscene hose.

I've spent the last hr perusing your site and LOL so hard my kids are asking to see what I'm looking at. This blog is addictive. Thanks for the laughs.

July 29, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterSarah

I'm not sure how I found your site... smoochiefrog maybe.. but OMG am I glad I did. It took me 151 minutes to read this post as the tears made the words blurry... and that was before I'd even read about costco. Whew... no ab workout for me tonight.

July 29, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterJust say Julie

I am laughing so hard I'm close to having an asthma attack. I also don't need to do my ab workout for the day anymore....

July 30, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterdie Frau

This caused me to laugh so hard that I fell down and rolled around on the floor at my workplace. Luckily my boss is on vacation.

July 31, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterKat Astrophe

My boys could not see it. Weirdos. Teen boys not seeing it? I think they are trying to make me think I am perverted and they are pure of mind. I know better. 19 and 15? Sheesh! How naive do they think I am? LOL

July 31, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterSuper Drew

LOL I too, had a good laugh. Thanks for sharing!

This is a great blog! Just found it. Keep up the good work!

August 1, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterChickengirl

Thanks for making my Monday morning - I'm sitting at my desk, crying, and wheezing from trying not to laugh out loud (or my co-workers will think I'm nuts!). Your blog is my new favorite - keep 'em coming!!

August 4, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterCherie

Oh my god. I am crying now, too. Wow. That is the funniest thing I've seen in a really long time.

August 6, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterBecky

I want to know what the going away co-workder said when the cake was presented! lol

August 6, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

After seeing this post and sharing it with my husband who also thought it was hilarious, I was going to get a Costco "fireman" cake for him for his birthday this year! Thought I'd share for anyone else who had the same idea, Costco no longer has the "fireman" cake on their order form options. :) *lol*

August 8, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterKyra's Mama

and now for the next level...

what if people copying these cake wrecks intentionally?

August 12, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

"I never knew there was a strong anime tentacle porn market in pastries."

A friend of mine asked me to make a tentacle hentai cake for her private (i.e. her dirty-minded friends only -- mind, all of us are past 30 by now, not family) graduation party.

I should now get into designing one, since that event is close at hand. No money will exchange hands (so the cake probably won't end up here), but I will guarantee that it'll be a wreck of all sorts...

August 14, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterSkiriki

laughing
so
hard
i
am
crying

August 14, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMorgan

I laughed so hard i cried!
the story is priceless

August 15, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterrhino

hehe...I would rather just eat and be done with it...who cares whats on it...it should taste good thats all...

thats looks like a firewoman by the way hhehe...

August 18, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterUTP

hahahaha! i work in a church and had to actually leave the building and run for the parking lot before i exploded with laughter in my very quiet office!! shrinking the story just wasn't enough to calm myself down. it honestly, was like laughing in church...

August 19, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Oh I just figured out why there's no, um, water, coming out of that, er, hose...he's standing on it.

August 20, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterlesley

there is also the amazing fact that there is grassy/mossy/green stuff growing on the nether parts of the "hose."

hahahaha. srsly having to keep myself from hysterical breakdown at work! priceless.

August 21, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterCrankyMuffin

I totally saw "IT" at first glance! weird! I never even seen that option at Costco for a Fireman.. haha.... hilarious.. and I was wondering about the hat thing.. ponytail or hat?

August 22, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterLiz :)

I have to say this is the BEST cake I have ever seen. I have been crying with laughter at it and the story. Bless you for cheering me up :o)

August 23, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterLiz

This was soo funny. I especially liked the deeply religious cake decorator touch. And his analysis of heman nature - how people will look at it but not say anything for fear of being the only one who noticed. Love this site, and glad my friend Carol told us about it!!
I'll be back!!
Karen at wheresmydamnanswer.com

August 23, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterKaren

I didn't catch the flesh toned hose at all. It actually made perfect sense to me. I just assumed it was some culturally insensitive reference to a Chinese fire drill. Here is the wiki def:
A Chinese fire drill is a pejorative expression usually referring to a prank, or perhaps an expression of high spirits, that was popular in the United States during the 1960s.[1][2] It is performed when a car is stopped at a red traffic light, at which point all of the car's occupants get out, run around the car, and return to their own seats. Chinese fire drills are sometimes executed when one needs to get something from the trunk of a car. Occasionally, if one of the participants is late to get inside the car, the others might drive off without him/her. People have reported this phenomenon as early as the 1940s, so it is possible that the phrase was current at the time, but simply was not recorded.

Thus the expression "Chinese Fire Drill" is the act of a group of individuals accomplishing nothing.

The term is also used as a figure of speech to mean any large, ineffective, and chaotic exercise.

BTW This site just became my new happy. Thank you thank you thank you for making it!

August 27, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAlice

I'm *loving* your site! You need a guestbook page for general praise!

August 28, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterApril Hollands

I laughed until I cried and wheezed... omfg that was funny.

i love costco :)

September 4, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I cannot believe this cake. I think it might be that it is 2:23 in the morning and I have now been awake for almost a whole day, but I really found this funny.

The bow er helmet, the hose er ding ding, and the little drops of water.

Oh my goodness this picture and the story were just to much.

This is what I'm going to bed on. This is a great way to end a day. Thank you so much for posting this picture and story.

September 7, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterGallardo-Van Ornam Family

i seriously have NEVER laughed so hard that tears were literally STREAMING down my face....
until now.

September 8, 2008 | Unregistered Commentermegan

Oh dear God. I am weeping. In the best way.

September 9, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterbreedemandweep

I suppose the fact that the decorator was deeply religious and from a foreign country was meant to suggest that she was so sheltered and/or pure of heart that she simply never could have realized that there could be an off-color interpretation of this picture. (Maybe she'd never even seen male body parts?)

Either that or it's a very strange and rare religion that involves worship of slightly androgynous firemen with big... no, never mind. That is far too silly.

September 13, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I saw it looked like a "wang". I also saw that the fire fighter looked like a woman. That I think made the whole thing even worse, lol.

September 15, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I like the idea of it referring to a Chinese fire drill.
And...did he end up bringing the cake to work? I want to know what the coworkers thought!

September 17, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

i've looked at tons of cakes on the website. I have never laughted so hard. This is by far the "BEST" worst cake!!

October 2, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Saw the fireman right away... was pretty sure the hose-looks-like-a-wang was coming... was a bit baffled by the inscription... read his story, good for a smile and all but somehow it just didn't seem to make me fall down laughing...

Until I came across the comment that said the wording appeared to say "good suck in China".

It took half an hour for me to get my breath back and my face dried!!! I guess there's something for everyone in this cake, even a sour old cynic like me. Thank you for this great blog!

October 4, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

This has to be the funniest thing I've read. I'm in tears and I still can't stop laughing. Oh thank you!

October 6, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterJaime and Maya

I have to post this to my decorating group as an instructor....I find your blog a hoot......I tell my class anything can happen and on your site it does........

jolene

October 6, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterjolene

I was so busy looking at the strange puddle of water that I just didn't clue into the hose thing (thank goodness). Too Funny!!!

October 8, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterTranquility

PostPost a New Comment

Enter your information below to add a new comment.
Author Email (optional):
Author URL (optional):
Post:
 
Some HTML allowed: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <code> <em> <i> <strike> <strong>