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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Tuesday
Dec022008

Fetal Bites

So what are all the "in-the-know" cookie connoisseurs talking about these days? Why, the newest rage in baby-shower cuisine, that's what: fetus-shaped cookies!

And how do you GET fetus-shaped cookies? With a fetus-shaped cookie cutter, of course! (Duh!)


Here's what they're saying over on Stupid.com, where you can purchase your very own FSCC:

"At last, EVERYBODY can have "one in the oven" with the deliciously disturbing Fetus Cookie Cutter!

Imagine the expression on the teacher's face when your kid hands out oatmeal or chocolate chip fetuses to all the students. We can almost hear the Principal calling now."

They also point out that it takes a special kind of baker to make these babies, which I would have to agree with. And if you're still not disturbed, check out the video which features the song "Fetal Bites" to the tune of Edelweiss. (Sample lyric: "small and white, far from right, you sit on my tongue sweetly") I guarantee you'll find it horrifying. Or hilarious. One of the two, anyway.

Is anyone else picturing these cookies wearing little fondant bow-ties and top-hats, maybe even holding a (sugar) cane? No? Just me? Right, er, never mind then.

Heather K., I think you were the first to submit this, so thanks!

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Reader Comments (163)

BECAUSE, Beagleyweagley, it's FUNNY.

Get a sense of humor. And preferably take those tightywhities off next time; they're ten sizes too small.

KEEP ON WRECKIN'! I LOVE YOU GUYS SO MUCH! <3 <3 <3

August 21, 2009 | Unregistered Commentera Pendragon

My friend has this cookie cutter. I think they taste better than actual shapes, but I have a sick sense of humor.

August 22, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterRiyo

What really astonishes me is that people are actually freaking out over this. Or were, back when it was posted.

It's a cookie, folks. It doesn't really matter what it looks like. We're not squishing up aborted fetuses and making them into cake batter. We're taking innocuous cookie dough and making it into fun shapes specifically for the eating.

We make cookie bats, cats, reindeer, santas, snowmen, and even Jesusi. Why is it so completely awful to think about eating a cookie fetus when most folks see no problem biting the head right off a cookie Jesus or a cookie Santa?

How is eating a cookie grown-up less cannibalism then a cookie fetus? Really now.

August 26, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterketsu

This doesn't disturb me nearly as much as the baby ZOMBIE lawn props I saw at a Halloween shop the other day. Really. One of them had two malevolent heads.

September 9, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Yumm. Baby fetus's! i gave a fetus cookie to my neighbor who just just had a baby.... she doesnt talk to me much now. i Bite there little heads off ! :) hahahahahahaha.

October 6, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

i love this! *and i am an expectant momma* ...and i love the licorice umbilical cord idea....why not take it a step further and cover them in a powder sugar type glaze for the vernix? =] just a suggestion.
yes...the fact of a fetus shaped cookie is a little strange, but c'mon! have a sense of humor! it's just a cookie. lighten up people!

October 30, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterkristen rae

(with sarcasm) Make sure you make those fetus-shaped cookies from gingerbread to complement a gingerbread abortion clinic, decked out in royal icing, candy, and, of course, red piping gel! It'll be a hit with pro-choice advocates throwing a Christmas party!

November 4, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterwhizkidforte

I think these are just wonderfully, disturbingly FUNNY!!!
Much easier to take than any of those horrid mother-belly-baby head-poking out cakes!! UGH I agree w/those comments about them looking slightly alien-esque too! COOL - Double duty cookie cutters!

January 13, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLemurQueen

Awesome!! Think, people!! Gifts for midwives, doulas, nurses, obs. Pro-life Mommy to 5 and I would eat the cookies. The eye is too big,it needs a mini chip.
It's funny, people are more disturbed by the thought of eating a cookie fetus than killing a real one!
Oh, and the fun of eating gingerbread includes biting off the head/arms/legs. Who doesn't do this?!?

February 26, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Now, if only there were a "fetal carrot" to go with it, then we could totally recreate the life cycle of Naked Mohawk-Baby Carrot Jockeys!

...perhaps I shouldn't be allowed on the internet. ^^;;;

August 6, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterNovember Jocasta Wilde

So ironic that the website lists them under holiday gags. Because gag is exactly what I did when I saw this cookie. I need that cookie cutter. I'll be the hit of the bake sale.

September 29, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterHeather D

I tripped over my own fingers rushing to buy this cookie cutter when it first came out. The cookies are a wonderful conversation piece for a religious holiday with your evangelical family. A dried cherry works great as a festive eye.

For extra Jesus points, bend a small piece of wire into an unraveled coat hanger shape and poke through before baking. Every cookie needs a handle!

May 4, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterChristopher

How do you eat the head of a fetus baby cookie and feel right about it? maybe start at the feet and work from there, no breech fetal cookie eating.

Folks, elections are almost near, the topic of when life begins is likely to again be upon us. This wouldn't be the cookie served at any election event I would imagine. If they did serve these cookies, they would need to be representative of all nations.. That is a lot of dough variations right there.. Unless they are iced, like a sugar cookie, if so, I'd stay away from red tones..

February 19, 2014 | Unregistered Commenterbodynsoil

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