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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Tuesday
Dec022008

Fetal Bites

So what are all the "in-the-know" cookie connoisseurs talking about these days? Why, the newest rage in baby-shower cuisine, that's what: fetus-shaped cookies!

And how do you GET fetus-shaped cookies? With a fetus-shaped cookie cutter, of course! (Duh!)


Here's what they're saying over on Stupid.com, where you can purchase your very own FSCC:

"At last, EVERYBODY can have "one in the oven" with the deliciously disturbing Fetus Cookie Cutter!

Imagine the expression on the teacher's face when your kid hands out oatmeal or chocolate chip fetuses to all the students. We can almost hear the Principal calling now."

They also point out that it takes a special kind of baker to make these babies, which I would have to agree with. And if you're still not disturbed, check out the video which features the song "Fetal Bites" to the tune of Edelweiss. (Sample lyric: "small and white, far from right, you sit on my tongue sweetly") I guarantee you'll find it horrifying. Or hilarious. One of the two, anyway.

Is anyone else picturing these cookies wearing little fondant bow-ties and top-hats, maybe even holding a (sugar) cane? No? Just me? Right, er, never mind then.

Heather K., I think you were the first to submit this, so thanks!

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Reader Comments (163)

Haha...we featured that one too! It's amazing how many crafts are fetus/baby related. Creeeepy!

December 2, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterKaren Sugarpants

At first glance, I thought the title was "fecal". I'm glad I misread it, although this is almost as disturbing! lol

December 2, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterJennifer

OMG!!! where can i get that?????
i so totally think it would be great for halloween cookies, or maybe you could drop a dozen by the local abortion clinc?so i'm a tad warped, so what?

December 2, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterpunxxi

"Hello my honey, Hello my baby, Hello my ragtime gal!"

December 2, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterStew

When I was little, my mom had a lot of cookie cutters (so I thought), so I asked if I could have her cookie cutter collection when she died. This, of course, became a big family joke. Also, Mom subsequently got every kind of cookie cutter known to man.

Mom died three years ago and I got the cookie cutters. But I don't have one of these. I feel I owe it to my mother to get one.

How's that for justification?

December 2, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMarin (AntiM)

I was picturing them riding on a carrot.

- Ed
http://www.barnabas2008.blogspot.com" REL="nofollow">A Father's Thoughts

December 2, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterEd

Two things come to mind: 1) Preemie Pete and 2) that episode of "Rats on Cocaine".

The only way I would eat one of those cookies would be if they were served at a Halloween party or a zombie-themed party.

December 2, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterCalantha

Two things:
First, if you've ever seen an ultrasound of a fetus around 12 weeks or so it looks exactly like that, hence the alienesque shaping.

Second, out of 100+ post, NO ONE else thought of taking it one step further and making little red jello fetus jigglers? Not sure Bill Cosby would be on board, but great for your next pro life rally!

December 2, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterRobynNewt

I think far too many people are taking this too seriously. I can't stop giggling, I think it's hilarious, and the "omg it's so close to cannibalism" is the funniest thing I've heard in ages.

I've loved this blog for quite some time, now, and I think I love it a little harder, now. I want a fetus cookie cutter!

December 2, 2008 | Unregistered Commentershadow

Yay! Thanks for posting! :)

I'm highly in favor of the fondant top hat and bow tie idea, perhaps also with an icing monocle.

-Heather K.

December 2, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterHeather

Creepy as that is, I'm tempted to buy one because I know people who would eat them.

December 2, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterksaldria

HA!! Funniest. Comments. Ever.

December 2, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Sure to offend everyone on your list this holiday season!

December 2, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterEmily Elizabeth

I love these!! I just gave birth 3 months ago, and fetus cookies would have gone so well with the "it's an embryo!" announcements we gave out. My husband and I aren't sick and twisted people, we're just folks who don't take life too seriously. ;)

December 2, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I also think the top hat w/ cane accessories would be spot on. And somehow, these cookies remind me of that guy on the Simpsons, Smithers? (Not sure I have that name right.)

December 2, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I just don't know what to say to this. How could you sit there and munch on these?
To the poster who mentioned Smithers: I think you meant Mr. Burns.

December 2, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Two words: Edible Nativity. OMG picture this: Gingerbread fetuses wrapped in napkins.

Or even better, fetus shaped cookie ornaments hung from their bellies with red ribbons ALL over the Christmas tree.

Lord if only I had the balls to do this, I could finally keep the in laws away for the holidays...

December 2, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterOverCaffienatedMartha

Dee-double-sgusting.

December 2, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterheartafire

0_0

MUST HAVE ONE!!!!

i suddenly have the urge to bake cookies for everyone i know.

December 2, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterbutcherbaby

I think they are AWESOME.

What is WITH you people???

December 3, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterCanaduck

I love rolling out dough and making cookies, but these have a big problem. The problem is not what the shape represents, but the shape itself. Those little tiny skinny hands are going to be burned to a crisp before the body bakes. Maybe you can put tinfoil over the hands or something.

captcha = ectop, as in ectoplasm

December 3, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAviatrix

hahaha.. The cookie cutter is fantastic!! I might just get me one!!

December 3, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterCassie

can't mess with fetus shaped cookies, to much like Cronos eating his children.

December 3, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMad Hatter

disgusting! yecch.

and while i'm on this tack, folks, this is right up there with (albeit worse than) bringing your (or your wife's) sonogram pictures to work. just don't.

December 3, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterEtiquette Bitch

Aviatrix - I think you could get around the burnt extremity problem by only baking the cookies halfway. Seems more appropriate that way, anyhow.

December 3, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterHeather

Like Jennifer, I misread it as "fecal" but I'm not sure if that would be better, worse or just different.
The smart money is probably on different.

December 3, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMatt C.

Now there is a moral dimension to cookies? Please...regardless of shape, it's just dough that's gestated...i mean, baked..in an oven to term...sorry, until done. And then you pop the little suckers in your mouth.

Should we mention that you could color the dough to have every race represented (even though fetuses at that stage are all the same color)?

Let's lighten up; it's not cannibalism. And I think it would be a lovely thing for clinics to pass out warm cookies to those poor protesters out in the cold.

--cpeter133

December 3, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

So gross, but so funny. Thanks for the post.

December 3, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterClementine

I can't get enough of wedding cakes gone horribly wrong. MORE! MORE!

December 3, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMel

Ugh...way to make a preg woman sick to her stomach. I am, and it did.

December 3, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

This is the most disturbingly awesome thing I've ever seen!
Now that I've heard about it, I'm going to have to grab one.

December 3, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterKris

I like to make sugar cookies shaped like coffins with icing skeletons on them for Hallowe'en.........and people thought THAT was sick!!!!

These "Embryo" things are just SO wrong!

December 3, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterSuzanne Dargie

I'm wondering how my (college) students would react if I passed out fetus cookies while I show "In the Womb" (movie on prenatal development). Seems like an awesome idea to me!

December 3, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnn

EEWWWWW ewewewewewew my throat is still constricting from the horror of that cookie. I truly could have lived without seeing that one. ew.

December 4, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMary Ellen

So...are these cookies served at a Pro Life rally or something?? I'm trying to think of an instance to use this. Maybe a Baby Shower...if you have bad taste.

December 4, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterRuth

um................uh..................ahh..........yeah I just don't know don't know what to say to this one.....

December 5, 2008 | Unregistered Commentervanfox23

That is the most bizarre thing I've ever seen.

December 5, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I made a fetus cake for a friend's "baby shower." Takes a certain sense of humor to appreciate this stuff, of course.

December 5, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterSixkiller librarian

I'm making these with Santa hats for the holidays. I might use that candy cane cane idea. (:

Seriously funny.

December 5, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterjj

Hilarious. And even more hilarious are the pearl clutchers who don't seem to get the joke.

December 6, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

If this is the most horrible thing you've ever seen in your life, you are either the luckiest person alive or you willfully ignore the real world horrors that surround us.

December 6, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterBestat

Why would anyone want a fetus cookie? Obviously, some demented, fetus-loving weirdo.

December 7, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I am *so* handing these out when I get pregnant to let everybody know. I'm just that sort of tasteless kinda gal I think!

The picture ruined my peanut butter and fetus sandwich.

December 30, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Awww... these are not so bad guys! Just put an extra big eye on and some green or gray frosting and you are ready for your next alien-themed party or event!

December 31, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Oh.
My.
God.

Mamma's little baby IS shortnin bread?? UGH.

Does anyone else picture the scene from Family Guy (or is it American Dad? I can't believe I can't remember!)? "I'm just a prom night dumpster baby..."

February 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSara

omg! babies! i want fetus cookies now! if i had a fetus cookie cutter, i'm not sure i could help but use them at every possible occasion.

April 2, 2009 | Unregistered Commentercaly

Prom night dumpster baby,
prom night dumpster baby

XD

haha, word verification : unrie...at first I thought it was "urine".

July 31, 2009 | Unregistered Commentera Pendragon

Again - WHY?!

August 20, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterbeagle

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