Seasonal Non Sequiturs
December 17, 2008 I appreciate that some decorators are trying to think outside the traditional wreath/stocking/tree box, but then again...
For the granddaughter who loves dissecting frogs - formaldehyde frosting optional. (And you know, without the comma "Love Grandma" becomes more of a command. A really creepy one.)
Have a cake left over from Halloween? Meh, just slap a Santa hat on it.*
The head of a flower, the face of a snowman, the body of a slug, and a candy cane for a...belt buckle. (Please, let's just go with belt buckle.) "Let it Snow"? How about "Let it Go" - as in, away. Far, far away.
Brace yourself for this next one:
The mind, it boggles. Is this a frilly white Santa caterpillar, crawling up a red boulder? Or has Santa sampled some Wonka chewing gum (with cherry pie dessert)? The back certainly does nothing to clear up the mystery:
What IS that little bump? A tail?
Even more baffling, the decorator thought this was such a smashing design that s/he made it in miniature as well:
Now the bumps are on the side. What does it mean?!?
Try to picture those "cakes" without the plastic Santa heads for a moment. I'm getting a real "raw meatballs sitting in radioactive waste" vibe - how 'bout you?
Thanks to intrepid Wreckporters Brittney E., Meredith O., Kelly D., & Heather K.!
*I'm told this is actually a Grinch cake. Not sure that alleviates the wreckiness, though.
Reader Comments (218)
The "grinch" looks more like Oscar the Grouch.
When I saw the Santa cake I thought, what the......? Then I read your Santa caterpillar line and I laughed so hard I cried!
THAT'S how Santa gets down the chimney! He uses Mini SantaPillars/ Mini SantaSlugs ( go InterCapping!!) Also, the "Grinch" cake is plain disturbing.
The Santapillars (and your commentary on same) have crying. Literally crying. Whether they are tears of laughter or tears of fear, I shall never know.
The second one-you know that scene from The Silence of the Lambs in which Clarice finds Hannibal's last patient's head in the limo in storage? Yeah- well, "it was for the best really, his therapy was going nowhere."The decorator must have been a REAL fan. CHARMING!
The santa cakes were the bakers' attempt to signify that the guy is... has a "bulky build", to be politically correct. The heads are backward, and they overestimated the size of the plastic flotsam. The ruffle is the split in his coat where the puts it on, and I'm praying the red thing is a button (i.e. not a boner). The cake is wrong, but I solv eternal Cake Wrecks mysteries. I have solved the carrot jockey problem (see the post) and this one. However, I am stumped by the word Falkersatherhood. Falkersatherhood is a problem. I think it involved tequila and a taxi.
becuase slapping a santa hat on something makes it sooo much better.
They are santa seals on red rocks. The big one at least.
I think the Santa-boulder cake is Santa, who is really fat, in his suit, which is wet because he fell into a swimming pool. The white slug is Mrs. Claus's wig, and the tailbumps are his wrists.
That was Oscar the Grouch under the hat. Good ironic choice for people who are tired of Christmas. And everyone knows that snowflakes frequently are six-sided! It looked unfortunately similar to a flower because cupcakes are round. He/she did the best she/he could.
Brand new to wrecks, love the site, know this is an old post but HAD to weigh in...
On the caterpillar Santa, and on all the thoughts this is a Grinch cake... I think that was the attempt (it looks like the bags the Grinch used to steal Christmas?)... But the Grinch never kidnapped Santa (as to why his head is poking out of the bag), that was Jack Skellington... Thinking maybe the stories, among other things, were confused.
So everytime I show someone this website for the first time (always amazes me that there are people who have NOT seen it, but I digress) I tend to go back and look at some of my favorites. I happened upon this one today and must say I am floored by your 2008 reference to Frozen, complete with Olaf. Either you are psychic or Disney ripped you off. Let's go with the latter.
Ohmygod, I'm pretty sure that grinch cake is from the store I used to work at. I remember the funky green floor tiles some corporate idiot thought would look good in our cake case. The mystery is--who made this?? The cake decorator we had was amazing and this is not her work.
You people are all blind. It's OBVIOUSLY a parasitic Santa worm!
"Let it Snow"? How about "Let it Go"
THIS WAS WRITTEN IN 2008. FROZEN CAME OUT IN 2013. WERE THEY PSYCHIC?
The little ones look like Santa sperm. Too weird.
I was looking through some of your old posts and... That is the fattest Santa I have ever seen. It made me laugh and laugh. At first I thought the white frosting in the back was meant to be a beard, but after looking at it a long time, I came up with the idea that it might be his bag with a present falling out (bump).
Or maybe I'm wrong.