Seasonal Non Sequiturs
December 17, 2008 I appreciate that some decorators are trying to think outside the traditional wreath/stocking/tree box, but then again...
For the granddaughter who loves dissecting frogs - formaldehyde frosting optional. (And you know, without the comma "Love Grandma" becomes more of a command. A really creepy one.)
Have a cake left over from Halloween? Meh, just slap a Santa hat on it.*
The head of a flower, the face of a snowman, the body of a slug, and a candy cane for a...belt buckle. (Please, let's just go with belt buckle.) "Let it Snow"? How about "Let it Go" - as in, away. Far, far away.
Brace yourself for this next one:
The mind, it boggles. Is this a frilly white Santa caterpillar, crawling up a red boulder? Or has Santa sampled some Wonka chewing gum (with cherry pie dessert)? The back certainly does nothing to clear up the mystery:
What IS that little bump? A tail?
Even more baffling, the decorator thought this was such a smashing design that s/he made it in miniature as well:
Now the bumps are on the side. What does it mean?!?
Try to picture those "cakes" without the plastic Santa heads for a moment. I'm getting a real "raw meatballs sitting in radioactive waste" vibe - how 'bout you?
Thanks to intrepid Wreckporters Brittney E., Meredith O., Kelly D., & Heather K.!
*I'm told this is actually a Grinch cake. Not sure that alleviates the wreckiness, though.
Reader Comments (218)
The snoman has to be a Thansksgiving left over, that is totally the shape of a cornucopia. Maybe santa just had some bad eggnog?
WV:aseste-Could you please aseste me in figuring out what happened to santa?
These just keep getting better and better!!! I agree with Elyse, I think the first one is also an attempt at a Grinch...note the heart...
The second one is...horrible...similar to those baby cakes for showers...who is going to cut into the decapitated head?
And on the santapillers, what's up with the large one floating in blue with giant green blobs on it. I think it's more like Santa Monster. And what really cracks me up is that, similar to the 'Fireplace' wreck, the decorator had to label 'Santa' on it so everyone would know who it was.
So, here's our verse for the day:
On the third day of Christmas Cake Wrecks, Jen gave to me, three Santa Mullet Monsters, two attempts at Grinchiness, and a blooming snowman with a candy cane "belt buckle"!!!!!!
~Bonnie B~
I thought #2 was supposed to be Oscar the Grouch as Santa Grouch (can you tell I've seen too much Sesame Street?). Looked at that way, it's still a little off base for the holiday, but a slightly more successful cake.
There are no words for the Fat Santa cake. I thought of the Violet Beauregard blowing up like a blueberry too. ::shudder::
The kid's name is "Gabreilla"? EI?
I think the santa ones could possibly be a santa hat, it would explain the "lump" on the end. It'd just be the fuzzy ball that is normally on those hats. The only thing unexplainable with that theory is why there's a santa head on top... WEIRD!
Santa says "The spice must flow."
My daughter said the Oscar one with the Santa hat looks like a cat in weeds. I guess the eyes must look cat-like to her.
BWHAHAHA I can't stop laughing about the belt buckle and the snail santa, classic!
Wow...now I think these may be just one of the wreckiest post EVER!....though the wedding cakes take a close second.
Hey Jen,
what not to crochet paid tribute to cake wrecks today by featuring a CROCHETED cake...with a swan on it!...check it out. http://whatnottocrochet.wordpress.com/
oh and the wv for the day: ingessed: what I don't want to do after seeing these cakes.
I think the last ones are Santamaids or possibly MerSantas sunning on a rock to let the sailors know that the presents are due north.
"pednurse said...
So now that someone has beheaded the Grinch and preserved his head in a jar...."
That's exactly what I thought - but he's supposed to be good now. You know with his new and improved heart. Poor headless grinch.
I am pretty sure that is meant to be a bag of toys... the bump is the gather at the end where it is tied up... why, however, they decided to adorn it with Santa's head is beyond me.
Egads! Frosty sure is frisky!
So...confused...
I said a curse word out loud when I saw the santa cake. The one that was once considered bad enough to give movies automatic R ratings.
(the word verification that I have to type is "biting us" haha)
Someone needs to start a shop called "Cake Wrecks". They are so funny, I would love to order one for a party. Quite the conversation starter. I guess in that case, I could just make my own. Undoubtedly, it could be an entry in your cake wreck blog.
Laura
Yeah, the Grinch if he is standing under a VERY powerful air vent. I can see that...
I am making an appointment for nightmare therapy. Those cakes are pushing me to the edge of sanity! Scary stuff!
Happy Halloween!
What's that you say? It's Christmas time? Those are Christmas cakes?
(Dialing the phone faster.)
Santa's eaten so much milk and cookies he's turned into Jabba the Hut!!
Dissected Frog..EWWWW!
~Amy B.
Hilarious!! My first time here. You are headed for my Google Reader. I linked from Twitter. I'm telling everyone I know about this site. We can all use a laugh. It's funny when it's not YOUR cake.
Pause, I think the bump on the side of Santa could possibly be one hand?
Those santa (?) cakes are unbelievable. Just- whoa.
word verification: layse: how a wreckerator would spell lazy on a cake, because said person is, well, lazy.
I thought it was Oscar...
and all I can say about the Santa slug is that it recalled Alice in Wonderland, or perhaps more aptly Jefferson Airplane's White Rabbit.
Santa caterpillars!! I am STILL laughing!! Now I have to go stare at them some more; they are just BIZARRE!
The Santa blobs/cakes made me think of the movie Slither.
I don't get the 'grinch' cakes...I was just like huh???
word verification: nouns
first time i've actually gotten a real word :)
I thought the Grinch cake was supposed to be Oscar the Grouch. Hmmm...
the creepy crawler Santa has got to be one of the funniest cakes I have ever seen. I understand artistic vision, but this is just pushing the envelope. And that flower Snowman!!! I mean... it must be cold there, am I right ladies? Am I right??
I...think the Grinch wreck is kind of cute. Even though it is unequivocally a wreck and doesn't resemble the Grinch at all whatsoever.
Ooh! After staring at it long enough, I think I finally understand what the snowman CCC is supposed to be (well, as much as one can understand these things...).
The green slug part is supposed to be his scarf, and then he's missing a body underneath that. Why the scarf needs a candy cane in it, I don't know, but it's a better place for a candy cane than his, um, "belt".
A belt buckle. Mmm ya okay.
And isn't that Santa coming out of a chimney and the white frosting is the smoke that's billowing out?? I'm positive that's what the "decorator" was going for!
its fudggy the whales christmas buddy. santa the great white whale.
Oh! Oh! *tears in my eyes*
LOLOL!
Frilly Santa catepillar!
Oh! My sides ache!
I really don't think the person who made those cakes should be allowed to roam at will in society.
That doesn't look like the Grinch. I totally thought that it was Oscar the Grouch. As Oscar, it's a pretty cute cake, I think.
those santas are REALLY creeping me out...eww!!!
I love you guys! I come here first thing in the morning to get my laugh from Jen, and then after lunch to read the comments...and they just crack me up!
Rishabee....Santa pimples????? I just laughed so hard I snorted...
Word verification: borieran....Cake Wrecks is anything but borieran!
Hmm ... Santa the Hutt, anyone?
I believe that's the particular shade of green that, when used in the rain forests of South America, says "I'm highly poisonous! Don't eat me!"
Thank you once again Jen! You made me laugh aloud - the folks sitting next to me in the airport probably wonder what's going on. The world definitely needs more wreckiness as comic relief.
grinch, eh? i was leaning more towards a festively decapitated oscar the grouch, but i'll take your wrecky word for it.
Actually, that Grinch cake reminds me more of Oscar the Grouch who seems to have donned a Santa hat.
Something must be wrong with me. I laughed out loud at work from the depiction of Santa getting freaky with the reindeer rears, right down to the brown stubby tails. I just fear asking where Santa's hands are.
WV: flesse. The biproduct of beard on bump friction.
The Santa-pillars are just so... weird. So weird that they existed outside my imagination until today.
>Deborah said...
>Santa says "The spice must flow."
Oh Deborah thank you! Yoiu beat me to it, but I was on my way to making that comment! All he needs now are those glowing blue eyes.
Grinch, grouch.... they sound similiar.
I think the leftover Halloween cake is supposed to be a Grinch. SUPPOSED to be. I have no suggestions for the red mound of Santa....
Cookie Cake: Badly-executed Grinch. Although maybe "executed" is a more apt word that I think. You WILL love Grandma, or the Grinch dies! Bwhahahahahaha!
Snowflower: Um, yeah. Maybe after hitting the wassail bowl one time too many.
Green head: Definitely Oscar the Grouch in a Santa hat. I have an Oscar ornament that looks like it. Sort of.
Big-bloated-football-shaped-flowing-tresses-Santas: This is some baker's revenge. Has to be. It's the only explanation.
Unless that baker had too much wassail, too.
Word verification: uniondm. They may be college-educated, but they certainly don't have their uniondm.
Duh! It's a beached Santa whale! *smacks forehead*
Usually I can at least sort of see what the decorator intended...but those last two....NO IDEA! (However, they may be my favorite Holiday wrecks so far!! I laughed out loud at my desk!)
And a side note...the "grinch" cake...it looks more like Oscar the Grouch to me...
Oh dear lord. I MUST remember to take a change of underwear to work in case I P my pants reading CakeWrecks. Signing on and viewing the Wrecktastic has become part of my morning routine!
Santa Slugs, Santapillars or Santa on Steroids - take your pick! And I'm not touching the Grinch in weeds or dissected Grinch - too gross! I definitely get the radioactive vibe on the last one!
I'm howling, ROTFLMAO !! Thank YOU!