Thursday
Feb182010
Wacked Out Wrecks
February 18, 2010 Some days you've really got to wonder: just what are they doing in bakeries these days?
And more importantly: if we ask, will they share?After all, anyone who makes something like this:
(Blueberry iced cupcakes topped with wrapped cinnamon gum? Score!)...is clearly beyond the party-pooping cares of "reality."
In fact, sometimes I come across a cake so bizarre, so insane, so what-were-they-thinking?? nuts, that I have no choice but to tip the ol' metaphorical hat in respect.
A Styrofoam cup embedded in mold-flecked balls of yellow "soda" surrounded by a poo wall?[tipping hat] Well played, master Wreckerator. Well played.
Megan A., Desiree C., & Amber T., I wouldn't recommend zooming in on that "soda" unless you're on a diet.
- Related Wreckage: Merci!
Reader Comments (110)
Other than wincing at the sheer enormity of the (?)dog-riding clown's crotch, I really have nothing else to say....
Except "don't eat the yellow snow".
A maniacal clown riding a poop dog. *shudder*
Huh?????????
I don't even know if these are wrecks. They're more of a surrealist art form. Blue-iced cupcakes with sticks of gum on top? Wow.
"Soda"? I think we've just moved into some parallel universe.
thinking they were going for movie popcorn with the soda one perhaps? or maybe that is just giving too much credit!
WTF???? Are they dropping acid while decorating?
My question is not so much WHAT they are doing, but WHY!!! Would THEY take that cake home? I remember walking by the bakery in the grocery store and being amazed at all the beautiful cakes...sometimes my amazement is now something totally different, as you well point out. :-)
I just don't understand, what is it about poo that makes cake decorators use it so much.
Woo hoo a clown riding a poop Yorkie?? to the finish line? Yea pass whatever your having..I wont even get into the yellow ball soda cup floating in poo YUCK
dear gawd almighty.
come on poopie! hurry up! we're almost to the finish line!
perhaps the trident is to help remove the blue icing stains on your teeth after eating those cupcakes?!
moldy yellow globs of god-knows-what?! it's beyond comprehension.
great wrecks today. just great.
Laughing hysterically makes you squint a bit - thus the gum on the cupcakes looked a bit like bacon to me.
Blueberry and Bacon - YUUUUMMMMM!!!!
WV - demsh
Demsh be shome nashty cakesh dude!
Yay Mystery cake! I suppose the idea is to solve the mystery perhaps?
Well, those cakes sure are making me thirsty for some soda. And then I can chew some Trident gum to get the poo dog out of my teeth!
For one brief, shining moment I thought, "well, they did a good job with the cup, anyway." Until it occurred to me that why yes, someone *would* in fact put a real disposable cup onto a cake as decor.
Lovely. How come the last one looks like it has peep bodies?
I'm pretty sure the yellow junk with the soda cup is meant to be popcorn. So clearly, it's a cake of a movie theatre floor.
Ew.
Yellow soda might have been better.
At first glance, I thought the cupcakes had bacon on them, so gum actually doesn't seem so bad.
I like how they labeled the Styrofoam cup.
Maybe the gum one is for a dentist party? They'll eat the sugar and then use the gum to feel better about it?
Maybe I'm reaching here, but could the last one be a bucket of popcorn and a soda for a movie-themed party? Am I reaching too far? Yeah, I probably am...
Honestly I thought the gum was bacon...lol
The first one is clearly a clown riding a bantha.
Is there really any flavor of gum that *would* jive with blueberry icing?
I don't understand. Please tell me their were special pills that made them do it. A dog-riding clown race? Trident topped cupcakes? A styrofoam cup on a bed of mold?
Blueberry, gum cupcakes? A bargain at $7.49? Apparently a "different" kind of smoking break at that bakery..
I too thought the gum was bacon at first- cupcakes for hipsters riding the bacon band wagon. But upon closer inspection, is it just me or does the cinnamon gum/blueberry frosting look like it's on top of chocolate cupcakes? How many flavors can you get in one "treat"? Scuze me while I barf now...
My first thought on the blueberry cupcakes was bacon (no...it can't be...), then my second thought were those fat pretzel sticks (oh come on...why would they put pretzels on cupcakes?). I was forced to zoom in on the image and gazed in silent wonder at GUM on cupcakes. Gum!! I just don't get the whole cupcake decor thing at all. My kids love it when they get toys and rings on cupcakes, and I shudder when I see them cheerfully sucking the frosting off their plastic toys so they can play with or wear them.
This post and the one from yesterday just go to prove something: just because you can hold a pastry bag and own an airbrush does not mean you have any clue as to what a good cake looks like or how to make one. There are some decorators out there that should just be slapped.
Glad to see I'm not the only one who thought the gum was bacon, heh. I am also glad I wasn't drinking my milk as I waited for the page to load. I've learned my lesson there!
I'm thinkin' that these cakes were done as therapy in a mental hospital. Or maybe I'm just hoping that they were....
Can that first monstrosity even be considered a cake? It looks like a mound of frosting topped with insane clown horror.
Wow,these are so bad!!! I can't get past the scary bloated clown atop a poo-Yeti.
And what's with the gum?!
Just how much cake is under that poo-dog riding clown? Is there anything actually THERE?
BRB, throwing up
"ingstica" - the sound I made while retching after looking at these vakes
I'd like to beg you to admit you are making these cakes up.
I think I'd feel better about the future of the planet. :)
When I first glanced at the second pic, I thought the trident strips were pieces of bacon. In which case it would not be a wreck, it would be an awesome. Alas, after my eyes focused I saw they were trident strips. So yeah: wreck.
At least they wouldn't have to throw away all that gum when it expires next week.
What unholy collusion is this, a clown riding a poo-hound? In a race? Now bakeries are combining the awfulness? Sheesh!
That yellow thing masquerading as a cake at the end is just nasty......
Noooo Jen, I don't think it's cinnamon flavored, it's like this orangey citrus called "Tropical Twist". I'm like 90% sure on this. At least it makes more sense than cinnamon.
A Yorkie won the Westminster dog show...I doubt his owner was a part-time clown...but...you never know.
funny... I thought the gum was bacon also!
and the yellow stuff looks like melted peeps to me
bizarre!
That first one looks like a nightmare after a night of bad pizza.
WEIRD...that's all I've got to say.
agirlinherkitchen.blogspot.com
Imagine, if you will, a shelf full of creepy clowns... all riding different poo animals... racing towards a finish line that never seems to materialize...and you realize that you have entered the Twilight Bakery Zone.
Cupcakes, gum, soda, and popcorn are available at our concession stand...enjoy the race!!
A garish drunken clown monster riding a poop dog?
- I'll have one of whatever the baker's on please
One pill makes you larger
And one pill makes you small
And the ones that mother gives you
Don't do anything at all
Go ask Alice
When she's ten feet tall
And if you go chasing rabbits
And you know you're going to fall
Tell 'em a hookah smoking caterpillar
Has given you the call
Call Alice
When she was just small
When men on the chessboard
Get up and tell you where to go
And you've just had some kind of mushroom
And your mind is moving slow
Go ask Alice
I think she'll know
When logic and proportion
Have fallen sloppy dead
And the White Knight is talking backwards
And the Red Queen's "off with her head!"
Remember what the dormouse said;
"Keep YOUR HEAD
_______________
Keep your head"
Dog? That's obviously a canine-centipede hybrid--that, or the kitchen has some serious radioactivity contamination.
I want to know where the bottom half of the clown went. Is this some sort of new Karnie Special Olympics event?
Based on the picture plus the comments, the last one makes me want to see what happens when you pour soda over peeps.
So when I was in college, a friend of mine and I started to use the word "cake" instead of "clueless" (long story, I'll share it with you some other time if you're interested) as in, "I'm totally cake about what that professor wanted for that assignment." It stuck, and my husband & I still use it to this day.
Now, today, it takes on a whole new meaning and gravity. I am totally cake about these cakes.
According to my 10 year old daughter:
1- I think it's a clown... on a pig?
2- Bacon on cupcakes???
3- Supposed to be movie themed... like popcorn and soda. I have no idea.
hee hee kids are great.
What on earth inspired the wrapped sticks of cinnamon gum??? On a cupcake with blueberry icing!?!? What the frick!! WHAT ARE THEY THINKING!??!?!?
The 'soda' cake - a new low in putting cruddy plastic crap on cakes.
The 'clown' cake - a bad dream I once had when I mixed illegal pharmaceuticals with Red Bull and baked beans.
The 'gum' cake - bacon would have been an improvement . . .
And to think I was shaking my head in amazement at the wreck at my Wal-Mart last week (didn't have my camera - pout) that was a CCC shaped and painted to look like a fire hydrant. That was high art compared to these.
Cakewrecks - the only thing that can wring a smile out of me these days, thank you Jen and all the wreckers out there!