The Cake Said WHAT?

When you see the same ol' "happy birthday" butchered day after day, you learn to cherish the cakes that break the mold and say something truly unique.

Whoah, thought that said something a little off-color for a sec!
(Who else saw "Jerk?")

Anyway, I've been collecting some of the better examples for ages now, and as I started scrolling through them today I realized they told a kind of story.

It helps if you imagine them as a conversation between two people.

And also if you're a little drunk.

BEGIN!

D'awww. Brings a little tear to the eye, doesn't it?
(I mean, who's giving away "chrildren?")

Thanks to Mike B., Julie R., Marissa D., Nancy M., Jack W., Anony M., Another Anony, Jennifer W., Bethany P., Libby M., & Julie N. for proving a cake can be worth a thousand questions.

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And from my other blog, Epbot:

Let's Play Telephone

Ever wonder what could possibly go wrong with a simple inscription on a basic cake? Well, WONDER NO MORE. 

Below I've listed the inscriptions some of my trusty Wreckporters ordered from professional bakeries, followed by the cakes they actually received:

"God Bless Neal"

I hear it's His middle name.

"Welcome Baby Arnold"

The spacing is what really sells it.

"Happy Birthday Mom"

Now that's a cake only a mother named Bob could love.

[Btw, I'm starting to wonder if a baker named Bob is doing these on purpose. And if so, I want to shake Bob's hand.]

"Congrats British Lit"

I hope this starts a trend; I want to see all the ways bakers butcher "Kyrgyzstanian."

"Happy Bandwidth Upgrade Day"

"Band With Upgrade" is the name of my retro Steam Powered Giraffe cover band.

(I realize only about 3 people will get that joke... and I'm ok with that.)

"Grats to Dad"

I like to think this is the baker's revenge on everyone who shortens "congratulations" to "grats." "CONGRATS" IS SHORT ENOUGH, PEOPLE.

"Old Dirty Thirty"

At some point you stop being surprised. Or so I'm told.

"When I'm 64"

That's actually how John says it when he's singing in his "drunk McCartney" voice, so maybe Kit sang her order over the phone. Drunk. While imitating Paul McCartney. 

(Don't keep us in suspense, now, Kit: did you?)

Thanks to Colleen C., Suzanne R., Morgan & Eric, Katie D., Ethan D., Leslie C., Becky L., & Kit K. for really phoning it in today. ;)

*****

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