No, I Won't Show You The Uncensored Version, So Don't Ask

It's National Photography Month, bakers, so let's go over a few ground rules again:

1) Stop doing this:

Just stop it.

Ground Rule The Second:

If the customer asks for a "cute train photo cake" for her 2-year-old, remember to include the word "cute" in your Google image search:

::sigh::

Ground Rule III: This Time It's Personal:

Look, I'm not saying a 13 year-old girl can't love a reality-show bounty hunter *and* frilly pastel flowers. I'm just saying maybe those two themes don't complement each other so well:

And finally, please, bakers, if you forget everything else, remember this:

ABSOLUTELY NO PHOTOS OF REAL HOO-HAWS WITH REAL BABIES COMING OUT OF THEM

Talk about your "flash photography." Heyooooo.

Though I'm sure the "lol" made it alllll better for the unsuspecting party-goers.

(The caption said it was for a "surprise baby shower." I'LL SAY.)

Thanks to Rebecca H., Silvia R., Eric M., & Adrienne G. for proving there IS such a thing as too much of a spread at parties.

*****

Thank you for using our Amazon links to shop! USA, UK, Canada.

And from my other blog, Epbot:

10 Reasons Edible Images Are The Absolute WORST (Plus One That's Pure Gold)

You'd think printing out your decorations would make them LESS wrecky, but... NOPE.

10 Reasons Edible Images Are The Absolute WORST:

1) Because even though bakers COULD use spell-check...

...they don't.

And also that pesky spacing thing.

2) Because now it looks like the cake is wrapped in fabric:

3) Or shiny plastic:

(I've seen Slip n' Slides that looked thinner than that stuff. Think you need scissors to cut it?)

4) Because the printer always runs out of ink and turns everyone green:

But thank goodness bakeries don't let that stop them.

5) Because of the badly Photoshopped photo collages:

6) And free clip art:

7) Because it gets all shiny and slimy:

*hurk*

8) Because square paper, round cookies cakes:

Ahhh, SEAMLESS.

9) Because creepy ultrasounds:

"NO I DON'T WANT THE FACE PIECE, JOAN."

And finally, the best/worst reason edible images are the worst?

10) Because bakers keep doing this:

Not cool, bakers. Not cool.

Thanks to Alexis M., Alexia K., Jennalee Z., Graham C., Melissa H., Darren G., Amber, Nicky W., Mercedes M., & Desiree H. for getting the picture.

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BONUS SWEET:

And now, because every rule needs an exception, allow me to present the best Edible Image Cake...
OF ALL TIME:

Thank you, Julia H.
And, YOU'RE WELCOME, WORLD.

*****

Thank you for using our Amazon links to shop! USA, UK, Canada.

And from my other blog, Epbot: