Hey, Teachers! "THANX."

It's Teacher Appreciation Day!

So if you're reading this right now, you should thank a teacher.  

And if you're not reading this right now, then your eyebrows are asymmetrical and you smell like cheese. HA. BURN.

See why you need to learn to read, kids? That's right: so you know when random strangers on the Internet are insulting you. Which is always. But reading will give you the specifics.

Ok, now that I'm done with my inspirational pep talk, let's get down to this "thanking" business.

[looking over glasses]

[adopting scholarly tone]

[consulting note cards]

As a society, we owe our teachers, like, a LOT. (Not an alot, mind you, but a LOT.) 

 After all, without teachers, who would instruct us in our letters and numbers?  

[starting slideshow]

Or in proper grammar?

Or reading comprehension?

 And then write something witty.

We also can't forget proper penmanship:

And, of course, the arts:

 ACK! Um...sorry, wrong slide. How did that get in there? Heheh. Whoopsie! 

We must never speak of this again.

Moving on... (no pun intended)( 'cuz I'm just that good)...Where was I? 

Oh, right.

The arts:

Curse you, budget cuts. CURSE YOU.

So today, I want you all to:

By offering a hearty:

Because:

 Um...what the cake said.

Thanks to Robert L., Brooke M.,  Gerta B., Chana L., Nanak B., Kelly H., Brooke B., Mindy W., Amy S., and teachers everywhere for the education.

Easy As 1,2,C!

"Ok, Mr. Johnson, we're going to take a quick look at your tax forms for last year, alright?"

"Nooo problem."

"Great. Let's start with your dependents. Now, how old is your daughter Emily, exactly?"

"Oh, she hasn't been born yet. But not to worry; the wifey and I are working on that, IF you know what I mean!" [winkwink]

"Er...unfortunately I do, yes. And forgive me, but I couldn't help but notice from your previous returns that little Levi has been one year old for quite some time."

"That's a, uh, medical condition. Very rare. I'm sure you've never heard of it. But it's completely tax-deductible, believe me - just like his back waxing."

"Uh HUH. And I see that you and your wife, Ann - if that's her real name..."

"Oh, she likes to spell it with quotes. She's French."

"Ah. Well, you and your wife seem awfully fond of naming your children 'Andy.' Why is that?"

"We find it's just easier that way. And you should see 8th Andy with her ferrets - aDOOORable!"

"Look, Mr. Johnson, I'm sure we can get all your dependents sorted out, but right now I'm most concerned about your numbers."

"My numbers? What's wrong with them?"

"Mr. Johnson, I'm sorry to tell you this, but you can't count."

"WHAT?! Of course I can count! Counting is as easy as 1, 2, 5!"

"Three, sir."

"Oh, fine, have it your way."

"And perhaps next we should talk about your hearing problem."

"What?"

Thanks to Marsha N., Darcy P., Carrie Z., Jen M., & Nikki H. for taxing us with today's wrecks. Remember, cake wrecks and books about cake wrecks are completely tax-deductible, guys!