Hey, Teachers! "THANX."
May 8, 2012 It's Teacher Appreciation Day!
So if you're reading this right now, you should thank a teacher.
And if you're not reading this right now, then your eyebrows are asymmetrical and you smell like cheese. HA. BURN.
See why you need to learn to read, kids? That's right: so you know when random strangers on the Internet are insulting you. Which is always. But reading will give you the specifics.
Ok, now that I'm done with my inspirational pep talk, let's get down to this "thanking" business.
[looking over glasses]
[adopting scholarly tone]
[consulting note cards]
As a society, we owe our teachers, like, a LOT. (Not an alot, mind you, but a LOT.)
After all, without teachers, who would instruct us in our letters and numbers?
[starting slideshow]
Or in proper grammar?
;)
Or reading comprehension?
;)
And then write something witty.
We also can't forget proper penmanship:
;)
And, of course, the arts:
ACK! Um...sorry, wrong slide. How did that get in there? Heheh. Whoopsie!
We must never speak of this again.
Moving on... (no pun intended)( 'cuz I'm just that good)...Where was I?
Oh, right.
The arts:
;)
Curse you, budget cuts. CURSE YOU.
So today, I want you all to:
;)
By offering a hearty:
;)
Because:
;)
Thanks to Robert L., Brooke M., Gerta B., Chana L., Nanak B., Kelly H., Brooke B., Mindy W., Amy S., and teachers everywhere for the education.
Reader Comments (54)
LOL Daddy Love Beth is wrong on SO many levels that I love it.
The last cake is INCERMBREHINZSHIBLE with a capital P.
My mother is an english teacher, and I am betting she is reading this right now and smiling hugely. Which apparently that is a word. ACK! WHAT IS THE WORLD COMING TO?????!!!!! Ahem. *brushes down clothing and resettles collar* Anyways, thank you Jen for your appreciation of teachers everywhere. Without them, we would be spelling errors alot. Tanks!
I would comment about the wrecks, but I got distracted by Jen's sexy teacher act. (It was the glasses and scholarly tone)
I really like how the snowman one has this mutant snowflake placed just so. Just so that it might be an apostrophe in the "IT'S" or it might be a casual flake hovering above the "ITS"
Way to cover your bases!
My undergrads' grasp on grammar is about on par with these wreckorators. If you think these cakes are bad, you should try reading an entire essay written in the same manner.
Um, I think I went blind trying to read all those wrecks. On the other hand you just put me on a guilt trip because I forgot to send a card to my son's teacher and she teaches special education. That is a job and a half let me tell you.
Awesome as always. As a former teacher I think whoever did those cakes must have taught first grade. I am telling you that after you have seen "their" spelled "thier" enough times you start to think it looks okay! I used to be a good speller, really! Now I thank God every day for those red squiggly lines that tell me that I can't spell "definitely" as "definately" or "calendar" as "calender!"
Is the "Happy Rehkemah" one an intentional wreck? Sprinkles, disoriented balloons, and what almost looks like a misspelled "Wreckmas" make me wonder if it was done on purpose.
Teachers everywhere
lamenting unlearned grammar
red pens did no good
Okay seriously teachers are awesome, they work so hard and give so much and THIS is the best these wreckerators can do for them? Seriously people, go back to school!
Cake #5: ...what on EARTH does that even say?!? "Happy...Rehkemelh?" I think we may have found another holiday in the Falker Satherhood vein.
I think the backwards 6 is actually meant to be a hand giving an "OK" gesture. Still something of a fail.
I work for an America Reads/Counts program as part of my work study, so that last cake hurts the most.
There is something wrong with me. Cake #7, the "live, love, bloom" one, looks to me like Homer Simpson doing naked yoga. Yellow downward dog.
AWWW. Happy Rehkemellt to you, too!
Great post, Jen! I totally felt your "scholarly tone".
And a big "THANK YOU" to Haiku Joy! You sound like someone I would have wanted as my teacher. :-)
Yes! You, too, can have a happy rehkemelh! The official colors of this holiday are blue and white, and it is celebrated by tying black strings on multi-colored light bulbs and then throwing confetti at them. Then the one covered in the most confetti gets to write on cake by dipping a spaghetti noodle in warmed-up PlayDoh® and holding it with the toes of his or her left foot.
Happy Rehkemelh, everyone!
Note: The etymology of Rehkemelh is unclear, but it is suspected to derive from the Latin Rehkus, from which we get the word "wreck." Therefore, the term can be loosely translated as "Wreck 'Em All!"
Of all the gross dead pig and Twilight-themed wrecks that have paraded through these pages, THIS is the only one that has made me physically cringe. I think I need some Pepto. Thank, Wreckerator's....thank for nothing.
Sadly, as a former high school teacher, I can discern that the Happy Rehkemelh cake does, in fact, read "Happy Retirement." Go Teacher Bad-Handwriting-Deciphering-Powers, go! (And parents, you can thank your children for helping us to hone these super powers).
Omg you gave a Hyperbole and a Half reference! I thought I couldn't love you guys more. :D:D
The worst part is THEY VOTE!!!!! D:
As a teacher, those cakes make me want to CRY!!!! ugh seriously people???? come on!!!
keep showing us great/horrible cakes though - love it!
*sad announcer voice*
For years your doctor has treated you, scolded you, poked and prodded you. But now, it's time for him to retire.
*upbeat, Pan-Wow style*
What better way to wish him well than a cake with a heartfelt message written just as illegibly as your medical records? The Rehkemelh cake is perfect for any doctor's retirement!
Anesthesiologist
Cardiologist
Dosimetrist
Histologist
Graphologist
AND SO MUCH MORE!
He'll have no time for long goodbyes! He'll be too busy calling in a pharmacist or nurse to decipher your thoughtful gift. ORDER NOW!
Cake #5 is Happy Retirement.
I teach Junior High - after looking at poor penmanship all day, I could look at that and right off the bat see "Happy Retirement."
I now know what I forgot to do last year. I forgot to celebrate Rehkemelh!
I assume the "Happy Retirement" cake was lettered by an elderly hand, and as such I will not laugh at it.
Um...Could that backwards six actually be a nine?
Allie Brosh FTW!!!! :) I was waiting for an "alot" reference when you started the grammar lesson. :D
Thanks to every wonderful teacher I ever had, and there were a lot of them. Without them, I wouldn't appreciate these cakes nearly as much.
Sung to Gotye's "Somebody That I Used to Know"
Now and then I wish I hadn’t blown off grammar
Like when you say my cake’s so crappy you could cry
Don’t know when to use apostrophes
I got a 14 on my SATs
It seems there are some things that I just can’t remember
Bakers get afflicted with a certain kind of badness
Spelling doesn’t matter in the end, not in the end
Still, when you find my cakes do not make sense
And publish them on Cake Wrecks for your friends
I’ll admit that I’m just glad my shift is over
But you didn’t need to point and laugh
Yes the 6 is backwards but it’s still better than nothing
It’s an end result that you don’t love
But you treat me like a moron and that feels so rough
No you didn’t need to stoop so low
Demanding that I find the manager’s home phone number
So what if I piped “Let It’s Snow”
I guess there’s some school stuff that I used to know
There’s some school stuff that I used to know
There’s some school stuff that I used to know
Now and then I think of all the times I do cakes over
Always disbelieving there was some mistake that I’d done
I can’t be perfect every day
So I’m misspelling every word you say
You’re gonna have to let it go
I’m not going to get all hung up on that school stuff that I used to know
But you didn’t need to make a fuss
“Buinchs” is perfectly acceptable in 3rd world countries
Admit it, when push comes to shove
As long as you get free cake than life’s not so tough
No you didn’t have to make it so
I had to take a class to relearn all those pesky numbers
I plan to reforget them, so
They’ll just be more school stuff that I used to know
Some school stuff
(I used to know)
Some school stuff
(Now it’s just some school stuff that I used to know)
The great thing about the "6" cake is that even if it were supposed to be a 9, it's still wrong! Also, the way the icing is dinged make it look like a worm with little eyes staring off to the left.
@Holly W-N: Whether that is or is not an apostrophe is the least of that cake's worries.
I'm pretty sure the "penmanship" cake says Happy Retirement, and is indicative that the wreckerator should himself be retiring.
Finally, as CCCs (ptooey!) go, if that's supposed to be a high-heel pump, it's actually kind of decent in a minimalist way. Of course, if it's supposed to be ANYTHING else, it's awful.
Bravo, Sharon!!! :-) I will be sending a link to my son's teacher. Like Terrie's child, my son has special needs. We are fortunate enough to have a special private school *just* a two hour roundtrip from our home. :-) The teachers & staff are *amazing* & I can't wait to share this with them! Thank you Jen & CakeWrecks! (and Sharon & all the lovely commentators!)
This is why I assumed all teachers wound up in padded cells muttering things like, "'U' is not a word, *whispers* are you? MY SIDE! YOUR SIDE! MY SIDE! YOU'RE SIDE!"
The slide that Will Not Be Spoken Of Again sent my 11-yr-old to the floor in spasms of laughter. I think it was the commentary and not the actual cake though, which is actually well done if you ignore the questionable nature of the sentiment expressed. ;-)
Really. The kid couldn't breathe he was laughing so hard.
America Reads was a program which brought tutors into the schools to boost literacy rates in the elementary schools. That last cake actually makes perfect sense to me, since I was tutor for the program!
@Sharyn - I love you (but not in a creepy, stalkerish way, you know). I love that song and your parody was spot on!
Sooo funny! Always check in to see what Sharyn has to say!!
Wow, that penmanship cake looks like something my class would produce... but I do teach elementary special ed, so at least they have an excuse! This baker does not, though.
Actually, the "backwards 6" looks like a pretty competent cupcake representation of the partial derivative symbol:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Partial_derivative
If Delaney is a fan of calculus, that could very well be intentional. Furthermore, the partial derivative symbol is often called "del", which could very well be a nickname for someone named "Delaney".
This one may not actually be a wreck.
Loved the link to alot.
I salude teechers, two! Wat a onderfull thing too bee a teecher! Thay tech us meny, meny thinks, and we shud be thanqufil four them beeing wat thay our -- the peeple whu hilp us all lern good like me did! Hapy Teechers''s' Apreesheashun Daye! If I cood I wood giv ewe a apl!! Eye hart teechers!
That's not a 6, it's a 9.
Haha! That was so Despicable Me. "And then I sit on the toilet . . . "
Love that movie.
@DB bravo!
@meeshybee welcome to the party and that was fabulous
@Sharyn we need to collect all of these songs and publish them with the proceeds going to the DOC Rehkemelh fund. We’d better compile zoomom’s, too.
In 'Flowers For Algernon', Charly worked in a bakery, but no mention was made of him doing anything other than cleaning. I guess his stint as a decorator was edited out because no one would have believed it. Prior to the advent of Cake Wrecks, that is.
#1 W1: "Shouldn't there be an 's' in that?" W2: "There -- one 's'. Happy now?" W1: "Yes."
I can't decipher that extra stroke in the third word, though. Is it an undotted 'i', a closed 'e' or the end of a 'w'? Is the word in question thus 'Buinchs', 'Buenchs' or 'Bwnchs'?
#2 This poor CCC (patooie!) looks like it has been around a while. I can't imagine why.
#3 Not many people know that words to the popular* song were originally, "Let it is snow." But singers found it so awkward that they used the contraction, which finally was enshrined in cake.
*Only popular if heard no more than once per year.
#4 "...A NUMBER 2..." and chocolate frosting. These wreckerators just can't help themselves, can they.
#5 With the help of other commenters, I was able to read 'happy retirement'. The implications are frightening. Although I wish more people celebrated Wreckmas -- the holiday when people exchange massively bungled cakes.
#6 I SO wish I thought that Beth is his wife, though that doesn't explain why she wouldn't be called 'Mommy'. But even this comparatively innocent spin doesn't explain the bathroom motif. Oy. As if this wasn't already bad enough, either that's a really big commode or 'Daddy' is really young.
#8 The party ended rather abruptly when the teachers headed for the bakery.
#9 Check the reflection of the photographer leaning over the display case to get the shot. "The committee sent me out to scout a bakery. I'm providing them with photographic evidence of what fine work you do. Yeah, that's the ticket!"
#10 Someone needs to organize 'America Writes', STAT.
Yay for the Hyperbole and a Half link!
This reminds me of a conversation I had with a college student back in 2009, when I was adjunct instructor and full-time academic secretary.
~~~
A young man I have never seen before walks in what is probably his best coat and tie. It's eleven a.m.
Tie Guy: Yes, ma'am, I need to give you something.
Me: Yes, how can I help you?
Tie Guy: I would like to congratulate you on our appreciation. (hands me a flyer† in a certificate frame).
Me: Wow, thank you.
Tie Guy: This is the day we go around to appreciate the faculty and staff. You have valuably contributed. This is for everybody in this building. So thank you for all the things and service you do.
Me: Oh, how nice.
Tie Guy: There's breakfast in the other building.
Me: Breakfast in the other building?
Tie Guy: You know, the building behind you that's a couple buildings away? There's a jug of orange juice and some donuts. Except we ate some of the donuts already.
Me: I'll email everyone to let them know. Do you know what room it's in?
Tie Guy: No.
Me: Do you remember what building?
Tie Guy: No.
Me: Okay.
Tie Guy: Thanks!
†The flyer was once a white sheet of paper, now completely ink-saturated with purple and yellow. On it is a grainy photograph of a man writing in Arabic on a chalkboard that appears to be in North Africa. His photo is rimmed with clipart of donuts. The flyer announces that there will be donuts and orange juice in appreciation for "contributions of valuable service."
Wow..just wow lol. That happy retirement cake sort of looks like how I would write on a cake if I dared to do so which I won't. Will leave that to the wreckerators as I run off and probably ruin my love of cake forever by trying to find some wrecks at my local bakery lol. I can imagine all the teachers once seeing these just throwing their hands in the air and going for a beer..they would need one after these.
*bows* to Sharyn
@ meeshybee wonderful idea!
I don't think lem could have squeezed in another mithspelled word good one!
Not a six! A nine!
(flips computer upside-down)
Not a nine! An e!
~~~
Okay, it's not witty, but I'm still measuring my "to grade" stack in inches.
Yes, Yes, and YES let us all give a resounding teaches thanks!