Valentines Strategery
February 8, 2018 Valentines Day is next week, so it's a good idea to start strategizing now. I mean strategerizing. I mean stratavarigizing. I mean WHATEVER SPELLCHECK YOUR NOT THE BOSS OF ME.
[What you're not seeing - other than me yelling at my screen like a madwoman - is that spellcheck is telling me "strategizing" is spelled wrong but "your" is right. IRONIC, idn't it?)
Ahem.
I'm going to assume you haven't already proceeded with Operation Dump Week, so let's move on to plan C: Choosing the right gift.
First of all, remember that you can never go wrong with roses.
;)
Unless they're these roses.
;)
Or these ones.
;)
Or...SWEET MERCY, has Sleeping Beauty been on another rampage?!
Ok, maybe instead you should go with a single, long-stemmed...
;)
....tape worm.
You know what, forget the roses. Teddy bears are where it's at:
;)
Or, sure, decaying gophers could work too, I guess.
Here's a good option if your guy/gal is nicknamed "Poo Bear:"
;)
A yellow-bellied Poo Bear? Nice one, bakers.
You could also just stick to the Valentine basics: you know, hearts, cupid arrows, that sort of thing.
;)
That's it.
Sing it with me, Kathleen S., Lindsay R., Maria V., Suzanne, David G., Amanda S., & Caroline M.:
Shot through the heart!
And you're to blame!
You give loooove
Reader Comments (27)
I thought that green thing in #1 was supposed to be a frog - as in, you have to kiss a lot of frogs before you find the prince. Maybe it was just because of the color.
Obviously, a strategy if you secretly loath the the partner you're with.
That second cake - who decided "poo roses" were a good idea? When I look at this, it appears the "poo roses" are lobbing "poo" hand grenades at each other. Is there something symbolic in this? Does it mean that their love is "the bomb"? Is it that their marriage is blowing up, and it's going out with a bang? Maybe their relationship is a real blast. (Or maybe it's the baker's way of saying that he's sold a lot of these so business is...booming.
I actually like the last one-you can tell what it is supposed to be :P
I wonder just WHAT is the back story on the last cake...beautifully "executed", but creepy galore...
I thought the green "roses" were a giant FROG. Can you see it too, or am I crazy?
I sincerely hope that last one was made for a medical student or something of the sort. Otherwise maybe it's the last-ditch attempt at Project Dump.
Why is the red one, um, sweating? *gag noises*
The first 2 it must have been left over frosting day
Can you imagine the horrid taste of that red one? When I used to decorate cakes, the red bowl was the one bowl I couldn't lick at that the end. Yuck!
I love that last cake as morbid as it is. I think I'm going into a sugar coma just by looking at the amount of frosting on that 3rd red cake.
Thank you... there isn't enough effective use of Bon Jovi quotes on the internet.
I've been gone awhile, but after your Epbot on Tuesday, I came by for a peek.
I love the last one - what does that say about me??
Just how, pray tell, does one get an arrow through the heart while relaxing on a satin pillow?
Something tells me this was no accident.
=^-.-^=
If you're dating Snow White's Step-Mother, the last cake is perfect.
A teddy bear made of pure, solid icing? I am IN LOOOVE!!! <3 <3 <3
Actually, I have a subset of friends who would think the last cake was the best thing ever!
For those who like that last cake, check out Katherine Dey's Deviant Art cakes, she makes great heart cakes, among other things. She is brilliant!
https://www.facebook.com/DeviantDesserts/
last cake is wonderful!!!
Well at least no one got a have a happy VD cake. Yet. I suspect those are coming though cause wreckerators seem to love writing that on cakes lol.
I love the last cake!
/ Creepy cardio nurse
About that "Pooh Bear" cake, it definitely DOES look like poo -- more than any other poo-like cake I've ever seen on CW. *gag*
I love that last cake! It wouldn't be for everyone. If I had gotten this cake, I would have joked and asked if he wanted me dead. I have my husband's heart and he has mine, so I guess they are dead to other people. LOL Alright, I'm going to go now... :)
What does it say about me that not only do I love the last cake, but the first thought I had was that the blood spatter pattern wasn't accurate for the wound? LOL
The last cake is pretty cool.
I want that last cake.
Idk about you, but on V-day, I want the real thing. I'm referring to that last cake. Also, to some people, Valentines Day is really just a VD...ay.