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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Tuesday
Jun092015

Expectation vs Reality, Vol. 27

Jamie ordered this zebra-stripe cake in blue and green:

 

...but she got this:

Mmm. Squishy.

(Anyone else seeing under-ripe banana peels?)

 

I'm still not sure what happened to Deirdre's Nemo cake.
She ordered this:

 

...but got... this?

After much puzzling, I've decided that thing in the middle is a snow globe.

Which only prompts more questions, if you think about it.

 

And finally, Jody ordered a rainbow cake from this website promising next day delivery:

Just to be clear, that's the picture on the bakery's own website, so it's not like they were asked to match someone else's work.

(Drum roll, please.)

 

Aaaaand this is what turned up at Jody's door the next day:

I have lost the ability to even, you guys.

That's right.

I CAN'T EVEN.

 

Thanks to Jamie B., Deirdre D., & Jody E. for proving you can't always trust things ordered off the internet. (But I still have high hopes for this at-home lipo kit, so hey, wish me luck!)

*****

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Reader Comments (56)

The first clue that the last cake was bound to be a wreck was the reading of the ad. The confusing syntax should have told anyone viewing the site that it really shouted, "Disaster-in-the-works !"

June 9, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterShirley Fowley

I hope Jody will "be the first to review this product."

June 9, 2015 | Unregistered Commenterinsects have 6 legs

…Aaaaaand, what happens after 7:00 pm? It turns into THAT! Before 7:00 pm it looked okay.

June 9, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterShirley Fowley

And the bakery for the last cake is not ashamed of that O_o I think the human race has just given up sometimes....

June 9, 2015 | Unregistered Commentermindy1

That first cake looked like a Suessian nightmare and the second cake instead of Finding Nemo it looks more like where in blue blazes is Nemo?

June 9, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterBigg3469

I wanted to see if the site from which Jody ordered the cake had reviews so I searched "rainbow tower cake next day delivery" and found what seems to be the same site - same layout, same text, same font, etc. - but not with the same photo. The photo on the site now is of a cake that very closely resembles the wreck which Jody received! I guess the bakery no longer wants to be accused of false advertising.

June 9, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterLauraB

The narrative on the last cake should have been a huge red flag. But, then, maybe Jody was unlucky enough to get a person quitting that day and who didn't give a flying fart in space what the product looked like.

June 9, 2015 | Unregistered Commentermiss paper

The last one is the cake equivalent of those sites where you can purchace an exact copy of a $4,000 dress for $40. I wonder if they offered the same boilerplate warning: We cannot be make the cake exact the same as the picture,since it is not our design,but we will offer every client highest in quality.

June 9, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

What the what?!? That second one bears no resemblance to any idea conceived by man or (underwater) beast!! Oh. My. Come on, folks, we really need to get the word out to "decorators" everywhere that it's okay to Just Say No. Yes, it may minimize our fun but some of these guys are veering toward malicious mayhem and MUST BE STOPPED! ( that last cake is evidence that we may be too late.)

June 9, 2015 | Unregistered Commenters.marie

"Buyer beware", and all that rot, dontcha know...AND, it's not as if they didn't WARN ya! Look closely at the "disclaimer" in the ad! That plainly warns:"*Please not once the order has been placed it will be delivered after 7pm on the next day."
What could be clearer? They had it DOWN, man. Maybe the order was mixed up with the timing of the bakery's garbage pick-up. Also, it looks as if it WEIGHS 30 pounds, rather than costs that!
(Oh, and good luck with the at-home lipo kit, Jen. I just hope you have 911 on speed dial, in case anything goes hopelessly, not-hilariously, wrong...) =^~.~^=

June 9, 2015 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

It's hard to be sure from the picture how that last one was supposed to be created, in the technical sense. But the effect would be pretty easy to create by sticking wafers of "moulding chocolate" onto a plain iced cake.

June 9, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterJoel Polowin

See, that last one would've been just fine if they hadn't advertised a different, much more complex design. That, and it's not worth $30. $15, maybe? The icing swirl isn't bad, but I'd expect this from a grocery store bakery--not a specialist cake-decorating company.

June 9, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterCallista

They changed the picture on the website for the rainbow tower cake.

[Editor's Note: Removed the link, since we don't encourage baker bashing here. And yes, they DID change the photo already - that was quick!]

June 9, 2015 | Unregistered Commenterhomecookinggirl

I was up sick last night for 2+ hours with a horrendous sinus headache. Looking at that second cake is bringing it back. So Jen, I'm with you. I can't even, either.

June 9, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterTLC

Yes Jen, I can understand why you can't even! You're doing better than I am because I. Just. Can't.

June 9, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterJoanne from GA

On the Nemo cake, did the baker not recognize the green stuff as seaweed, and think it was trees? So Nemo would need a fish tank to swim around in ?

June 9, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterColin M.

The first cake rendition could have been put to better use as the Finding Nemo cake. Kelp, anyone? Just add the fish.

June 9, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterCathyNP

I know these are going to be bad. So, I try to visualize how bad the cake will be before I scroll to the wreck...but the wreck is worse than my imagination every time! o-O

June 9, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterDee, just Dee

I found the website for the last cake. They've changed the photo!

June 9, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterTrekkie Gal

Well, I bet I can even.

They made the cake all right and perfectly looking just like the one in the ad. They merrily packed it in the box and confidently sent it off.

The delivery guy sure did like him some Guinness. (That's a pound sign in the ad. Thirty pounds.)

Well anyway the delivery guy (Let's call him Stuart, or Stu for short) came out of the pub a little the worse for wear but continued on his way with the cake for the wee one's birthday. Out of nowhere a dog runs across the road and to avoid hitting it, Stu drives the car into the nearest telephone pole. (Or was it a post box? No matter.) Anyway, Stu opened the box to make sure whatever was inside was all right.

It wasn't. It was pretty far from all right. Huge chunks of icing were sticking out all over half of it, and the other side was just plain flat.

Stu ran (or staggered) to the nearest fish and chip shop for a plastic knife which he then used to smooth down the icing. There! Perfect! You'd never know anything had happened to it!

Ding, dong...

What?

June 9, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterBea

Maybe Nemo is in the snowglobe? Still a terrible cake, but hopefully he is at least there....

June 9, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterLeesa

"Please not" < I would agree with that statement! I need clarification...If I ordered the Rainbow Tower Cake today when would it be delivered? Should we all review this product??? So many questions...

June 9, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterLisa

£30 for 4 layers?! That's cheap lol. The colors were there. The other cakes? I'm going to join in the "I can't even" group. I bake on the side, and 4 layers wouldn't be that cheap, plus delivered the next day? Nope.

June 9, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterHeather B

It looks like that first one isn't that difficult to cut out of Fondant .... but they used buttercream or a similar style of icing instead. *head desk*. As for Finding Nemo.... Well a cake more true to its namesake there has never been... cause good luck finding Nemo in that wreck. #3 ... I can't even either.

June 9, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterBeth C

Cheap cake ain't good - good cake ain't cheap. When will customers learn? *lol

June 9, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterMette

I gotta be honest, other than the crack at the bottom, I kinda like that last cake....it's got a watercolor tie dye vibe going on that I love.

Not to say I wouldn't be royally ticked off if I ordered what is advertised on the website and got that instead, but its not a terrible cake on it's own :)

June 9, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterPam

I keep scrolling up and down comparing those rainbow cakes. I suspect someone googled that image that used to be there and then got informed about legal processes...

June 9, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterV Myers

Nice idea for the first cake. Yep, under ripe banana peels...on the wreck.

June 9, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterLeslie

With the blue and green one, I wondered if they were attempting pot leaves.

June 9, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterBriana

The last bakery may have changed the photo on their website - but it's still on their Facebook page as their cover photo...

June 9, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterCapt_Video

I'm guessing the site-which-shall-not-be-named is loving all the google searches and hits it is getting. What amused me was that they changed the picture, but did nothing about all the typos.

June 9, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterApril

Fondant vs. Buttercream (*facepalm*)
On that second wreck it looks like Nemo discovered the darker side of Bikini Bottom on his way back home!

June 9, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterGingerSnap

I'm pretty sure they're watching this site/comment thread, because it's not the cover photo on FB anymore. It's still posted several times in their photos (though I'm sure about two minutes after I post this it'll be gone there too!) Not only is that a horrible rendition of their advertised cake, but the whole photo thing is rather creepy!

June 9, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterTashina

Like the other poster said: they have definitely fixed the picture since then.

June 9, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterMO

Well Tashina, I can still see a couple of the photo's on the fbpage.
But I agree, they must read this site :-) I can't help but wonder what you get if you
Order one of the other cakes on the site... ;-) like the bubblegumcake?

June 9, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterTala

The fact that the screen shot of the third bakery's website shows a typo probably should have been a hint that they weren't up to the task. "Please not once the order has been placed".

June 9, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterJulia

Is that an aquarium filter on cake #2??Sort of surprised there isn't a mummified Betta slapped on that doozy. No wonder Nemo swam off it and can't be found....

June 9, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterNaughty Nautilus

Kinda sad that they're trying to cover up instead of just going, "Okay, you got us," and laughing it off like many of the wreckorators do. I smell Epcot...

June 9, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterCallista

Poor Nemo is lost again.

June 9, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterJodee

The cake is still on the facebook page as the cover photo depending on which branch of the shop you are looking at. I feel like any version of the shop could have produced this web page since none of them seem to understand basic grammar.

The first cake is awesome, I think I'll copy it myself. I hope I do better than the copy here! We are sure it's professional? I mean, it's in a box, so...

June 9, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterNikki

At least cake #3 is rainbow-colored, right?

Some things just weren't meant to be ordered online..... *Headdesk*

June 9, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterTiffany

I found the site and looked through their cakes- if that's what their rainbow tower cake looks like, I wonder how their bubblegum cake, which has roses piped on all over it, looks like in reality.

June 9, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterElizabeth

Oh geez lol. The ordered cake at least looked like a cake. Without much frosting but still a cake. Could have been worse they could have gotten the blue/green cake like thing that made me have to wonder if any of the frosting would turn people's insides radioactive lol.

June 10, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterArlene Marie

Actually, the last cake is true to its written description: "Complete with a multi-coloured icing layer on top of the cake." Lo and behold, the layer of icing on top of the cake is indeed multi-coloured. It says absolutely nothing about a rainbow of well-executed ruffles around the cake! From the description, I wouldn't even expect icing down the sides...

June 10, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterAA

Getting back to the penultimate wreck, my first thought was a dice popper. Then it came to me: it's a security camera to provide visual backup for talking Barbie.

June 10, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterEoin

that last cake (rainbow) is quite easy just time consuming, crumb costarting the cake then starting from the top make dolups (in what ever color combo) dolup/dot in a strait line to the bottom. take your smallest spatula, or even a smaal spoon and spread thin (vertically). leaving a little (puff if u will) repeat.....the instructions are on pintrest and giggles love it for fondant no extr frills nothin just colored frosting.

June 11, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterMelani McNabb

I actually like the delivered cake better than the expected. Doesn't mean it's not crap to get what you're not expecting though.

July 11, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterKay

It seems the last cake's website picture changes on a regular basis. Perhaps it's "This is the cake we're making today, maybe not the one you will get tomorrow"? Right now, the picture looks like it's covered in pencil shavings (I'm assuming that's white chocolate)... still has the "Complete with a multi-coloured icing layer on the top of the cake" though.

July 29, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterRichard

I know this is a lot late to the party, but I got curious and searched for the same thing that you guys did above-Rainbow Tower Cake ect...you should SEE the pictures they have on there NOW. It's....even more horrible than the wreck they got delivered. And it's the same picture on several outlet websites. I can't even stop laughing.

August 27, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterThud

That first cake is MY cake I made!!! I just about DIED when I was surfing your site to see my cake.... And then the imitation!! Wow. I don't even have words to describe the second cake. *shocked*

September 4, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterMelissa

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