Tuesday
May052015
Settle A Bet For Me
May 5, 2015 CW reader Tati snapped a photo of something... interesting... on display in a local bakery's window.
Now, John and I have studied this thing at length (FOR SCIENCE!!), and unfortunately we can't seem to agree on what, exactly, it's supposed to be.
Here's where you guys come in. (But not literally, I hope. Because ew.)
Ok, first impression: Is this a bleeding butt, or bleeding boobs?
;)
How 'bout from this angle?
;)
Now, the real question:
;)
Thanks, Tati. I think.
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Reader Comments (122)
Butt. Tramp stamp. Skirt. No nips. 'Nuf said.
Retirement cake for beloved proctologist/stripper enthusiast, Dr. Ben Dover, MD.
I guess someone asked for a pc of a$$?
Congrats on your new butt implants?
Why is the "skirt" around the "cheeks" and not the waist (assuming butts here)??? and even the bloodline doesn't make sense -- why is it around the bottom edge? It makes me think someone removed this portion of the body as opposed to a fresh tattoo like some guesses. Horrible cake for the simple reason that it doesn't make ANY sense regardless if it is butt or boobs.
Episiotomy
A butt with a tramp stamp and the red is probably a thong or g string.
Tati, PLEASE go back to your local baker and find out what this really was. You cannot leave us like this. I've never worn a G-String, but I don't think they look like that from the side. There has to be a better answer. One that won't require therapy and/or brain bleach.
See, I'm going to go the other direction - I think it's a tribute cake to Gemma on Sons of Anarchy, (spoilers!) after Jax shot her. Boobs, rose tattoo, blood... It all fits!
I have to go with butt. However, so many questions. Was this for sale in an actual bakery? I don't, I can't even!
oops! Forget my question. I just saw that it WAS in a bakery window.
Oh, SuBee!! "Dr. Ben Dover, MD."! Too funny!!! But, now you make me wonder if the doc's name and title should actually be: "Ben Dover, I.C." (Ya think?)
No matter what it is, what kind of bakery would put that in their display????
the big question : what is the store advertising!?!?!
Why not go in to the bakery and say "I'm very interested in the big cake in the window" and then the baker would say "oh the butt/boobs cake?"
Thong + Tramp stamp = butt
Penis with a weird skirt. And a tattoo.
As for why, I'm going with "we needed to be punished for something."
Bleeding butt complete with little gray skirt that hides nothing and a tramp stamp FTW!
Butt implants!
Another vote for butt with tramp stamp. No idea why it's bleeding or why the skirt is where it is or why you would every make or want such a thing, but it's a butt. 😨
Dear @Tati -- PLEASE put us all out of our Quandary and go back to that bakery and find out the answers to all of the above questions. I'm purty sure it's a butt with a g-string and a tramp stamp, BUTT, what I really want to know is the answer to Joey's question - Whyyyyyyyyyy?
On behalf of all the Wreckerators and Jen's fan club I thank you for taking care of this forthwith.
Muchas Mahalos,
And now I need to go find a gallon of eyewash.
:-P
A PG13??? [sip of water] [quick lie-down]
Now i have to put this website on the parental control filter. And i don't have any kids.
Wait, do i? Where am i? is it Halloween?
Mama?
Well, that bakery deserves the serial parade of sicko dismemberment aficionados they'll get for trying the cheap way to get on CW.
Please don't enable this again!
Its a butt under a gray skirt wearing a red gstring
@Heloise.."red velvet cake" Hahahuuuuuuuuuugh
From the first photo, I thought it was a Dune navigator! with a ruffle.
I'm gonna say butt but why is there bliod drizzled all over it?
Awes! You found Kim kardashian's birthday cake!
Autopsy???
I think that another visit to this bakery or phone call is required...This cannot be unseen and therefore I need to know why???
Looks like a molar.
It's a Botched cake. Never gonna be perfect.
And the bakery thought this was their best piece to put on display?!
I think it represents Kim Kardashian immediately after her butt lift.
Please tell me someone is going to track this down and get an answer or I may never rest. I NEED TO KNOW WHAT THE GREAT GLORY $#** THAT IS.
None of this explains the apparent blood everywhere underneath....
Because serial killers like cake too!
A double bassinet (for twins). The red stuff is just lace or something.
The Red.....just noo!
Happy first period cake? I'm sure with the horrifying birth cakes out there, that someone decided an actual representation of ones first period would be a lovely cake.
My first thought, looking at the first picture, was that it was from Hannibal Lector of Silence of the Lambs, except instead of trying on other people's faces, he was trying on other peoples' butts.
i think its a mooning butt. That someone made with red velvet cake under it the fondant is very dry and it crack up the crack. That or they were confused as to where the ruffled garter goes or what ever gray thing is.
Happy First Period!
Sadly, I figured it out from that angle we are looking at the back side of, let's just call it, a stripper... The red is the thong string. The gray is the way to low slung skirt. The lower back tattoo was the key.
Ummm, that's not blood. Or a G-string. It looks like the 50 Shades guessers are the winners, because someone drizzled (faux?) hot wax on this cake's bum. The candle appears to still be resting on the lower back near the "tramp stamp". And thank you ever so much, Jen, for posting such an ambiguous photo that my natural curiosity made me look at it long enough to figure that out.
Why is no one horrified by the fact that the skirt of uselessness appears to be surgically attached under the skin?? Not that that answers why? Whiskey Tango Hilo is it? Eeeewww.
I. Can't. EVEN!!! Oh, the horror. Who would...why would... How could... Oh. This is exactly how i never wanted to feel about cake!
No. Just...no. I even tried @sending's trick of using the photo credit thingy and that was of no help at all.
And @SuBee owes me a new keyboard.
Rectum? Damn near killed 'em.
@LauraS - "Party favors by Tampax." Bwahahaha!
Mastectomy, uh, celebration cake? Completely awful, whatever it is.