Tuesday
May052015
Settle A Bet For Me
May 5, 2015 CW reader Tati snapped a photo of something... interesting... on display in a local bakery's window.
Now, John and I have studied this thing at length (FOR SCIENCE!!), and unfortunately we can't seem to agree on what, exactly, it's supposed to be.
Here's where you guys come in. (But not literally, I hope. Because ew.)
Ok, first impression: Is this a bleeding butt, or bleeding boobs?
;)
How 'bout from this angle?
;)
Now, the real question:
;)
Thanks, Tati. I think.
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Reader Comments (122)
Eeeeeeeeuw....
Bleeding butt, because - tramp stamp
IT'S JACK THE RIPPER'S BIRTHDAY!!!! Hey, way to go, guy. Do you want to slice the cake now?
Butt... Tramp stamp + no nipples (and we all know wreckerators love them some fondant nipples). As for why umm too much 50 shades of gray??
Just finished getting her tramp stamp and the tattoo artist is about to ink a matching tattoo on her booty. The tattoo is bleeding -- she should done a little more research on tattoo parlors.
Hmm... No nipples and no anus, so my vote is a baby shower cake for a mother who's expecting twins.
Hurk.
I think that is the most gross thing you have posted in 2015. Whether it is boobs or a butt. No. Just no.
I agree with the tramp stamp assessment.
Kim Kardashian tribute cake...or should I say tri-butt cake?
I agree butt since there's a tramp stamp. But EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!
😰😰🙀😱AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH!!!!!!!!!!!!😖😳😲
Now that cake's gonna haunt me in my dreams!!
@ Shirley Fowley...dying. with. laughter...Oh lady, that's the way to do it. I have tears streaming down my face, that is funny, I don't care who you are! With the extra exclamation points! Thank you so very much.
It looks like a cheap stripper...the ruffle that looks like it's trying to be a skirt, I think maybe the red is supposed to look like a thong, only it doesn't because eeewwww. I'ma have to go with Trista because... the "flower" tramp stamp. I'm not sure if the cake looks like a cheap stripper or a cheap imitation of an average stripper, I do know one thing though...it's NOT an expensive stripper...is there such a thing?
Dear God, what is that THING????
Saying but. I think the red line is supposed to be a G string + the tramp stamp tattoo above it + I think the ruffle is supposed to be a pulled down skirt (??? on that last one). Dangit, now I've thought about this too much and need brain bleach.
it's neither. It's much, much worse. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sehy5EgR_pk
AAAAHHHH! A Proctologist's dream.
Butt Cake with tramp stamp? $5.00
w/ Bleeding hemorrhoids? $10.00
Putting the bleeding ugly cake in your Bakery Window to display the bakers talent? PRICELESS!
"MASTER BAKERS, THEY'RE EVERYWHERE YOU DON'T WANT TO BE"
It's a rear-end, wearing a ruffled thong. The grey-green part is the outside ruffles, while the red line is the string that runs up the crack.
And may I say, EWWWWW.
I know what it is.
Disturbing.
I think it's buttocks. The back (remainder of the cake) would be very painful as a stomach.
But really, who would make this terrible thing?
Good eye, Trista. We now know the what, but WHY? Is someone celebrating their gluteal enhancement surgery?
Is that Teenage Mutant Ninga Turtles underneath the cake?? Why, dear God, why would this be on display anywhere?
Pre-presidential Mount Rushmore.
I think it's a butt because of the skirt (though why a skirt like that????) and the lack of nipples. I think the red line is a thong and I think I see a tramp stamp on there.
WTH??!! When I saw the first picture I thought it was the back angle of a baby bassinet. Then picture #2 scrolled up and blew my mind. Then...EEEEWWWWWW!!!!
Honestly I can't figure out what that is. But (ha) if it is made of red velvet cake, I'm going to hurl!
Nothing makes sense anymore...
So many questions. I don't think I really want the answers to them, but still.
I am voting option C) Male genitalia cake with a skirt around the balls.
Does it honestly matter which one it is? (I vote butt, by the way.) Either way...whatever it is...it needs to be burned with fire until there is nothing but ashes. Then the ashes need to be placed in an iron box and padlocked to an anvil and dropped into the deepest part of the ocean. Then the key to the padlock needs to be melted in the fires of Mount Doom. Then every person who was subjected to this visual abomination would get a free lifetime supply of eye and brain bleach because - Aaauuuuuugh! Can't unsee it!
I'm with Joey, "Why, God, WHY!!!!!!!"
Just a sexy body cake with black lace....nipples omitted to maintain a PG13 rating. The blood is from somewhere else....OH MY GOD...has anyone checked the attic????
It's one of those "Yay You're A Woman!" cakes, complete with tramp-stamp. With party favors by Tampax.
Concurring with Trista, I think it's supposed to be an in-progress tattoo. Now, why somebody would want a snapshot of a half-finished tramp stamp leaking blood and ink while the artist changes needles as a cake... That's another question altogether.
It's a cake commemorating a new tattoo that maybe didn't work out so well. Bleeding tramp stamp.
This is going to bother me all day. I cannot comprehend why or what or what on earth for!
After I picked my jaw off the floor, I commenced to studying the, er, object in a scientific manner.
Hmmm. I need to turn to my trusty Interwebby resources.
• Can't be boobs (no naughty nipple thingies).
• Probably not pioneers crossing the Red River valley--no covered wagons.
• Not funeral mounds (http://mongolianaltai.uoregon.edu/arch_mounds.php)
• Doesn't look like flower arranging (https://snapguide.com/guides/make-a-round-mound-2/)
• Must be something to do with sailing! http://sailinganarchy.com/2015/02/14/round-mound-of-rebound-2/
No, maybe not.
Science is stumped. But science knows it can't possibly be a butt. That would just be silly.
as God is my witness, I will never wear ruffles again!
One of those stringy bloomer things... If I absolutely had to make a bohuncus cake, I'd steer clear of red splotchy g-strings... for this very reason
Yuck. The real question for me, as a former baker, is why would any baker put something like that in their window? Sometimes I think they're baiting you to get put on Cake Wrecks.
Butt. Tramp stamp and bloomers.
And also. Ew. And no. And did I mention OHMYGOSHEWTHATISHORRIBLEMAKEITHOAWAY?
One cake. It took only one cake to traumatize me. Bakers are nefarious.
It is a butt. Noooooooooooooooo
I'm going to vote for "it's a butt." The second view is brining back memories of "The Wolf of Wall Street" when the main character was in bed with a prostitute and sniffing a line of cocaine from the same area.
I was watching it on a plane last year, and this is when they decided to have an announcement. So the movie froze RIGHT THERE, and STAYED there, for at least three minutes. I was frantically searching for the button to dim the screen, when my son looked up and noticed. He doubled over laughing, then took a photo of it and Tweeted it to all his friends.
OK, this makes me finally draw a line in the sand. I don't care what people order from wreckerators and get delivered in a discreet brown bakery box. But for goodness' sake, why do these things go on public display? The fact that this was put out for all to see by the baker makes me question a) his/her sanity; and b) whether civil society is irretrievably doomed.
Wreckerators- ask yourselves WWYGD? (what would your grandma do?)
The hills which were alive in "The Sound of Music" after the Von Trapps have trippingly crossed over
into Switzerland and the Nazis spread death and bloodshed across the land.
tramp stamp above a red g string
This is the best possible advertisement for a bakery that wants to go out of business immediately. Or maybe seeking a health department visit?
50 Shades Of Gross...
The old stand-by (the photo credit) reads: "...shesaysit'sabikini". I've already lost too many minutes-that I'll never get back- trying to make sense of it. So, it's a bikini. ALTHOUGH....(just to put Tom at ease, mind you) maybe it wouldn't be such a bad idea to check the attic, after all.... ... =^-.-^= (Hmmm...just wondering...How ARE you ever going to settle that butt--er, bet with John/thoj?)
LOL @ Subee!
And further LOL @ Karen for "MakeitHOaway!"
From the first photo, I maintained a faint hope that it could have been a Snoopyesque or even Hong Kong Fooeyesque head in progress, but I don't remember the latter's mask having ruffles on it.
After the second picture, however, there is only one possible verdict. It is an aBUMination.
A popular display at the Mütter Museum.
Its a butt with a lower back tattoo.