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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Thursday
Dec182014

The Best Literal LOLS in CW History Part 1

John asked me to pick my top 10 literal LOLs of all time, and I just couldn't do it, guys. There are too many! So instead, here are my top 20... in two parts. ENJOY.

Sorry, you can't have any.

 

But they never did. So sad.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

And they say technology makes our lives easier:

 

"What flash drive?"

 

"Oh, must be this one:"

 

Thanks to Jessica P., Amanda M., JR, Ross E., Kimberly L., Caylin C., Eugene K., Gauhar, Johanna O. & Elisabeth R., with extra sprinkles on top.

*****

Thank you for using our Amazon links to shop! USA, UK, Canada.

« The Best Literal LOLS in CW History Part 2 | Main | Cake Wrecks' Top 12 Unintentionally Erotic Cakes »

Reader Comments (38)

I'm feeling ropey today so this was just what I needed. Thank you, Jen, you must be a mind reader! These cakes are fabulously awful. Love it ^_^

December 18, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterRachel CrazyMum

How sad that the "Will Call Back" cake is actually pretty and the script is beautiful....

December 18, 2014 | Unregistered Commentermiss_paper

somewhat pithy comment white print on blue background

December 18, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

Many many moons ago back when I was a young lass. I decorated cookies for a cookie franchise place. I honestly am glad it was before the times of cake wrecks.

Anyway... The "I don't give a f*** something funny" is something I Hate to admit but I would have done. People could be so rude when you were trying to take their order especially if it was a last minute walk up to the counter. They expect you to read their mind and produce this perfect cookie with no direction.

It still made me laugh

December 18, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterJenni

How many people looked up the web address from #8, besides me? ;-)

December 18, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterCarrie

Honestly, the customer for #3 got what they deserved.

And I'm going to pretend #6 was for a New Year's Eve party at Prince's house ;)

December 18, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterChaosTheory

OMG the last one still makes me LOL XD

December 18, 2014 | Unregistered Commentermindy1

#6 is totally something my family would get me!

December 18, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterJodee

The third one and the "#25" are both well done with very good script.

December 18, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterNancy

I refuse to believe that whoever did the one with the website address didn't do that ON PURPOSE.

December 18, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterErica

Did anyone other than me try the URL in #8?

December 18, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterJohn

Ironic that they for once get the piping perfect, isnt't it? Well not so much for the jump drive one.

December 18, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterQue Sara Lee

Although it's really hard to choose, these are my favorite, FAVORITE types of Wrecks: the bakers that take things literally. "Yep, that's what it says, so that's what I'ma gonna write!!"

I really do imagine that there are people who think, "Hmm, that CAN'T be right . . ." but have been yelled at for not following the directions _exactly_ on some other cake. I can picture them shrugging and thinking, "OK, I guess there's some reason for that" and just go ahead and write what is on the slip. My family had a bakery years ago and you certainly do see all kinds of people with all kinds of demands. After a while, you just shrug and say, "sure, whatever" and write whatever crazy thing they want. Nothing surprises you after a while.

Thanks for gathering your favorites to share with us again. These just made my day.

December 18, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterFM

I feel a special kind of sadness when the cake itself looks pretty nice, with just the message being the Wreck. I even like the dusty, fragment festooned strawberry-chocolate number in the middle.

I always find myself thinking that a lot of the decorators must be working in big chain grocery stores, earning crappy wages and turning this stuff out between bouts of front-and-face in the Hardware department and sweeping out the aisles-- all the while being barked at by some do-nothing Manager to work faster-- or else! A lot of justified hostility and/or exhaustion in search of the easiest target.

Then again, I may be projecting my own workplace issues here. Don't mind me. Who wants chocolate with strawberry? ;)

December 18, 2014 | Unregistered Commenterms_xeno

So if you get a cake for giving someone a good year in purple, what do you get if you give them a good year in red? Or gold?

And I looked up the URL too, but it was a lost page.

December 18, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterTLC

I proudly wear the apron inspired by the first one when I bake. In fact I should be wearing it and doing something productive right now....

December 18, 2014 | Unregistered Commenteramanda*p

So... who's Christmas was Roxanna supposed to replace? And will Christmas and Roxanna be replaced by some other holiday? Perhaps there will be Easter Eggs in the stockings this year?

December 18, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterBluebonnet

Ah, once again I am not alone in my responses. Yup, I looked up the website. And courtesy of net archives, I got that site, with a picture of that cake posted on a discussion board. I *think* it's a discussion board. It's in Russian, and I'm not.

Today's entry is just One Big Grin. In gold. With hearts and stars.

December 18, 2014 | Unregistered Commenterrolypolyducky

I work retail & during this insanely busy time, dealing with burned out shoppers, the "the customer is always right" people, etc., this is just what I needed today! Thank you!!!

December 18, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterMovieMom

"I want sprinkles" still makes me laugh! :D

December 18, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterLauraB

At least the one written in purple got their sprinkles lol. Some of these cakes were so pretty too handwriting was very gorgeous and then they had to go and wreck em. Ah well can't win them all I guess.

December 19, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterArlene Marie

"Happy birthday! The picture is on the flashdrive!" Such good piping skills from a decorator with...

December 19, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterOlivia

Thanks for making this rainy day better!
Most of these cakes are actually done pretty well... And then they had to screw it up by writing on it...
The full webadress didn'fit on the cake I guess... (And for the people who couldn't find it http://telofy.soup.io/post/52374492/http-rost-kharkov-ua-temp-logo-jpg) But it's not in Russian... If you click on "te loufiz sup" you get sort of blogentries about charities. Ofcourse it's incredible stupid or an incredible sense of humor to write it on a cake. Well, good for us!
Jen, are you planning a new calender again? I'm still living in 2011... ;-)

December 19, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterTala

"I Want Sprinkles" is a classic! I remember I found the blog through the first Cake Wrecks book. I saw it at Borders (I spent a *lot* of time in Borders before they closed) and started flipping through it. The one that made me crack up the most was a cake with beautiful script that read "Go Die In A Car Fire."

I love these Top Ten posts. It takes me back to when I first started reading the blog. Some I remember and some I'm finding again for the first time.

December 19, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterMonica

The hyperlink made me actually LOL.

December 19, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterLaura

It would appear that rost.kharkov.ua was, or is, a grocery store in Ukraine. It may be more. I am guessing this could be a link to the lovely image that might have been envisioned for the cake:
http://rost.kharkov.ua/images/stena-site.jpg

December 19, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterAlison in Indiana

@Bluebonnet: My grocery store is starting to get their Valentine/Easter candy out already. It's always side by side, Crème Eggs right next to the valentine kits, and it fills me with rage. It's not bad enough they have the Christmas candy out in August, now they have Easter candy up before Christmas?

Ahem. /rant

Some very nicely done cakes . . . till you get to the message. My favorite is "I don't give a [blank]". You want funny? I got yer funny right here, pal!

December 19, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterRoxy Random

For those still wondering, this page shows the logo: http://fishki.net/26067-narochno-ne-pridumaesh--2-foto.html

December 19, 2014 | Unregistered Commenterkayk

And then something like this happens and the baker has no idea if they should follow instructions or if something has gone horribly wrong!

http://www.xojane.com/family/first-time-daughter-i-hate-you

December 19, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterLorna

I think "I want sprinkles" is my all-time favorite...sometimes when I need a pick-me-up, but I can't explain what I want, I just say, "I want sprinkles," that about covers it :) thanks for doing these throwbacks! It's so much fun!!

December 19, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterAngela

Thanks for that link, kayk. From the emoticons in the comments, it seems they had the same reaction to the cake.

December 19, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterSusan

Hey, I wish just like that I could have no periods!

December 19, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterJesskillme

It looks like cake writing might have a few job openings in 2015.

December 20, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterSharon

I would just like to meet some of these people so I can ask what the they were thinking or weren't.

December 20, 2014 | Unregistered Commenterp

I'm not sure I understand why these are funny or how they were collected.

It seems to me that most (if not all) of them are of the form phone-answerer-chose-to-spite-customer - though one should be admonished to "never ascribe malice when ignorance or stupidity will do." SURE, the occasional asshat deserves the snarky text (see #3 above), but "leave blank" gets that written on it? SOMEONE is being unkind - or rather daft. Same with the "in purple", etc. ...Can't the person taking the order use their brains and distinguish between "this is the text I want on the cake" and "this is the detail of how that text is written"? Does this speak to the depravity of jobs (job satisfaction), or the relative lack of intellectual capability, or something more sinister like people playing games?

In any event, I find it more sad than funny.

RT

December 21, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterRT

"Thanks for a Great Year in Purple" is Prince's birthday cake.

December 27, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterGabrielle

My favorite real life wreck was in a way the opposite of a "literal lol" -- when I was in law school I spent several months travelling to the state capitol to lobby for some social justice legislation. When our bill passed (after a pretty rocky fight), we had a small reception after the signing ceremony. As part of that we ordered a decorated giant cookie with, among other things, the bill number, "HB 1341," which stood for "house bill." Except when picked up, the icing read, "Happy Birthday 1341." Apparently the wrecker saw "HB" and assumed it was an abbreviation.

The saddest part was, the person who went to pick up the cake didn't take a picture before getting it fixed...

January 2, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterHunterJE

I'm a cake decorator and I see random stuff in the "writing on cake" section all the time. Customers that want misspelled words or ones that expect me to think of something clever, ain't nobody got time for that! Also, when ordering your next cake remember, it's a cake not a greeting card. :D the more lettering you want the smaller the font gets and unfortunately I do not know magic and cannot put a huge picture and all that writing. I know Costco made a few of these cakes and I'm so ashamed :/ we are not all like that! Haha I promise :D

April 17, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterA.M.

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