The Dora Dilemma
September 28, 2011 "Hi, I'd like to order this Dora cake, please."
;)
"No problem!"
[a few minutes later]
"Here you go: one Dora cake!"
;)
"Um, that's not really the same... and where are the toys?"
"What toys?"
"The toys that come with the Dora cake!"
"Oh, THOSE toys. Haha! I thought you were making a pun. I don't have those toys."
"Well, which toys do you have?"
"Er...Let's see...I have the ones for this cake:"
;)
"Ok, that's fine. Just make me one of those, then."
"Okey dokey!"
[later]
"Here you go! As you can see, I included the toys!"
;)
"But, that looks nothing like the picture! Look, I don't mean to complain, but all these delays are really putting me behind schedule, and the party is in an hour, and I have so much to do, and I just can't seem to get ahead!" [sob]
"Say no more, my good man! I will take care of everything.
***
"Here we go! See? I told you I'd take care of it!"
"Why? What's in the box?"
;)
****
[sniffle] "Fine. I'll take it."
Thanks to Vickie F., Ashley H., & Bryon B. for helping us finally get a head.
Reader Comments (76)
They are getting worse. I'm no Dora fan (don't have kids), but for pete's sake, why do they keep picking on her??? And that head cake is just vile.
Nothing says "Happy Birthday Sweetie Pie" more than a head in a box.
It's the ending of that movie Seven! In cake form!
Perhaps the last one is for a mafioso in training? A sick twist on the horse's head, your kid will wake up with a beloved catroon character's head beside them?
Thanks A.J. - that's exactly what I was thinking. I'm a little disappointed that there wasn't a repeated "What's in the box?" in the post, but I suppose it's hard to draw out the word "box" in writing without it looking like it should be pronounced books.
[Editor's note- It's a tough balance. We could do a nod to Se7en like we did and most people probably wouldn't see it. OR, we could say "What's in the boooooox?!?!" a bunch of times which could be potentially hilarious. The problem is that if someone hadn't seen the movie, they would have been totally lost. So we went with subtle. -john]
My 10 year old sons Comments while reading this post
1st Cake -Ooh Dora is Creepy enough
2nd Cake - It doesn't look anything like it and they are in the flippin, Water
3th cake - I hope that head isn't Red Velvet
I don't even know what to say.....I've made that Dora cake at work millions of times and it has always come out beautiful....I just don't understand when they come out that way.....it's sad and a little scary....and I agree, definitely SEVEN.
Oh my god. Oh ... my ... god ... Dora's ... head ... in a box! *sobs uncontrollably*
Also; why does the monkey in the inset picture look like he has 4 eyes? Creepy x 2!
As a parent who has endured -- uh, I mean "enjoyed" -- seemingly interminable hours of Dora the Explorer, I find Dora's head in a box strangely satisfying. It's almost as good as the "Maraka and Mittens" spoof SNL did a couple of years ago, which makes me laugh so hard I cry.
I totally read "What's in the box?" in my best Brad Pitt seven-esque voice! Hilarious!!
Is it just me, or does that thing in the lower left corner of the second-to-last wreck look like a jaundiced alligator?
that second cake, what IS that? a yellow alligator? is it eating the bodies? wha?! WHA?!!!!
Who in their right mind would cut into that last one?
Seriously?
And as soon as I saw it I heard Kevin Spacey talking about envy in my ear.
Creepy and Brilliant.
OMG AJ that's true-although a homage would have been lost on those who have not seen it. As for all those cakes D: D: D:
For my friends daughters 2nd birthday they had a Dora pinatta the kind with the pullstrings. The father was disapointed and thought it should have been the regular kind of pinatta. I explained that 1 handing a bunch of 2 year olds a bat might be dangerous to his special body parts and 2. having them beat poor Dora to death might be just a little morbid.
Can you imagine how Disappointed the Child was who wanted Cake #1 and got Cake #2...
This is from the lost Dora special "The Revenge Of Swiper".
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Why does the last one look as if a mafia henchman just delivered it as a "message" to someone?
Oh gosh. The first cake is one that we make at work. I can't imagine our decorator letting one walk out like that especially because that's a $44 cake.
But isn't that last one okay if the recipient is turning Seven? Do you think a 7 year old would get the reference?
Brraaaaaaiiiiins!
By the time I scrolled down I was giggling like a schoolgirl. Lol that head is AWESOME!
Aaaaaaaaggggggghhhhhhhh! Where was Morgan Freeman to warn us? Is he still with the penguins?
Tired of your kids always asking around their birthday and the holidays, “What’s in the box?” Well, here’s the answer: a “Little Miss Se7en” cake from PG Bakery! One look and you’ll never hear “What’s in the box? What’s in the box?” again. Get one today, and have a peaceful tomorrow! (Other characters available. We’re PG ‘cause we’re pretty gross!)
Subtle was just fine.....
hee hee
"what's in the box" *smirk*
At least the last cake warns us that it's caloric.
I tihnk my favorite part it the "CALORIC" oven behind the Dora head cake. Bwaaa Haa Haa!
Oooh, the first two totally evoked Monty Python's Cheese Shop, but then veered into Se7en - an unholy crossover if ever I've imagined one!
Seven...all I see is Seven.
John(tHoJ)-- don't worry too much about what some of us will or won't get. I'm 60-something and well behind the geek curve. But YouTube and Google are my friends, and Wikipedia will 'splain you darn near anything. I'm counting on Cake Wrecks and the comments to continue to expand my cultural literacy. King Cakes! Who knew?
now off to search "Maraka and Mittens"...
In keeping with all the Seven references, did the baker of the last cake get shot?
The Dora Head is creeeeeepyyyyy!
SWEET EVIL MONEY ON A DUNG MOUND!!! What happened to the other 3 fingers of the person from the bottom picture???
Dora bit them off, didn't she?? DIDN'T SHE???? PUT IT DOWN, DARN YOU, PUT IT DOWN!!!
#2 The wreckerator should stick to gardening. Maybe there are no figures on it because it's a winter birthday. You know, after the Fall. Not being a decorator myself, I wouldn't know how to go about showing ripples in moving water, but I'm pretty sure this ain't how it's done.
#4 "One 'Dora' cake with everything (in the store) on it, coming up!" Coming up is right. Is that made entirely of frosting?
#5 At least the customer had sense enough to deal with the head baker. Why does 'Dora' have white lips? Just a tad too much realism there, perhaps. Note to self: never shop CSI Bakery.
Haha the one of Dora's head is scary!
I will never again complain about the use of all that fricken fondant on cakes today, instead of icing..frosting... icing... whatever. I could have done without the morbid beheading of Dora even though she and Diego drive me CRAZY!!!!!!
Now I have to go watch Se7en, dang it. And it's all your fault that I'll have nightmares for the next month. **razz**
How to explain to your child that you are going to cut open Dora's head for her to eat? I think mine would run screaming!!
I must be one of the few people in the world who have never seen "Se7en". I thought the Dora head was Scarface-ish and was quite happy that way. Many interminable hours of Dora and Boots in my past.
My main question concerns Cake Example #1. What sort of a lesson are the cake designers trying to teach our children? Aren't Diego and Dora too young to drive? And shouldn't they know better than to play chicken? Really!
Ahahahahaah! Love the Seven reference!! XD
My goddaughter (who's 4) was sat beside me, as I read this aloud...she said 'Dora cake!!' then it rapidly went downhill....by the time I'd scrolled to the end she was laughing hysterically, unable to keep herself upright on the sofa and yelling at the top of her voice 'MY DORA CAKES ARE BETTER!' She then asked me if the 'people who made the cake have ever gone to school.' I told her they were professionals and after a few moments of explanation, she retaliated with 'Well they need to go back to nursery, cos I make cakes better than that!' And the scary thi!ng is...it's true....a FOUR year old beats these so-called 'professionals' lol
HAHAHAHA! Se7en reference. Love it.
Oh, Lord! #2 is like, "Maybe if I add enough ribbons, no one will notice it doesn't look like the photograph."
And #3... I think one of my biggest complaints is that for a cake meant for a child's party - I assume it's for a child's party, but then, you know what they say about assuming - you want lots of color...not a monochromatic head in a freakin' box!
that head looks like something you'd expect to see at the end of the movie "Seven" or in the Godfather. Serial killer, mob, whichever, sending their victim's head along. yuck!
Love the Se7en reference!!
For those of you that haven't seen Seven, be ready for gore. Brad Pitt takes the sting out, but just barely.
Even the first, ostensibly non-Wrecky cake is troubling in its portrayal of a seemingly unavoidable head-on collision between Dora and Diego.
WHATS IN THE BOX?
http://s3-ak.buzzfed.com/static/imagebuzz/web03/2011/2/8/2/whats-in-the-box-24093-1297150496-17.jpg
Creepy!