Thursday
Jun302011
My New Favorite Wedding Cake
June 30, 2011 Roses are red,
Butterflies are blue,
Um...
Pardon me, but are those sperm on your wedding cake?
Poem Option #2:
The cake that keeps giving,
and makes your guests squirm,
'Cause nothing says "marriage,"
like butterflies and sperm!
and makes your guests squirm,
'Cause nothing says "marriage,"
like butterflies and sperm!
Poem Option #3:
Roses are red
And cake can be pretty.
How sad for you,
'Cuz yours looks all...
[eyeing children]
...unpleasant.
And cake can be pretty.
How sad for you,
'Cuz yours looks all...
[eyeing children]
...unpleasant.
(Betting this cake will be pulled by baker request in 3...2...)
Thanks to Kristen G., who wishes more things rhymed with "tadpoles." Or is that just me?
Reader Comments (151)
House of Collinsworth: hugs to you! I lost a child 11 years ago January. He was one of my triplets who were born at 24 weeks. You have my deepest sympathies. The pain never goes away but it does get better. I'm glad you have the cake memory to brings laughter to such a terrible day. My heart goes out to you. Blessings and Peace. Korrie~
Are they miniscule sperm-sized butterflies? Or giant butterfly-sized sperm? Just wondering.
This cake was made by one of my friends and it is NOT sperm but balloons! It was made in memory of a little baby boy who was born too soon and didn't live.
Lis- you're a much better sport than I would be! I guess they do look like sperm though! Love you!
I'm so excited for my cake to see!
Decorated with tasteful nature scenes!
Colorful butterflies all around,
Simple balloons shall abound
But alas, it shall not be so,
For my cake was made by a werckorator, you know
It's the kind of cake that would make a grandma squirm,
For you see, my cake was covered in sperm!
Shared passtime with my 10 year old and I, usually. So I start reading today, "Roses are red etc etc Are those spe.. Um, nevermind."
i saw the blog today, oh boy.
about a cake festooned with butterflies
and sad balloons that looked like sperm,
it made a mother laugh
and now we know for sure balloons should never be put on a cake
they AL-WAYS mess. it. up.
Roses are red,
Your cake is blue.
We see the swimmers.
How pregnant are you?
This is just a new version of the birds and the bees.
I'm with Misssy. Can someone please spell out what was supposed to rhyme with pretty in poem 3? Titty?
There once was a little Tadpole,
Who was blessed with a tender little soul,
Though his visit was short,
He lives on in mom's heart,
And will always be her angel to hold.
My deepest sympathy and warmest congratulations. Tell your friend this time try kites instead of balloons, much safer shape.
Balloons and butterflies caught up in a tornado.
we just watched "The Switch" and this would have been the perfect cake! too funny
Oh my thats funny!!
Things that rhyme with tadpoles:
Flagpoles
Steamrolls
Washbowls
Dad's moles
Mad foals
Plaid stoles
Sad voles
Half soles
Chad trolls
Bad rolls
... plus the one I'd rather not write on a family blog ...
Mom, how amazing to be able to share such a sweet story with all of us. we appreciate that you can understand our goofiness. much love and comfort for your family this coming week. (((hugs)))
-Barbara Anne
off topic: all together evil wrecky henchpersons- flip your calendar around and say goodbye to the "Women In Spaaaaaace" and hello to "Exploding Balls!"
my vote is for another calendar for next year (pleasepleasepleaseplease) and to keep the same format!
Attention everyone with a frosting bag. You cannot make good balloons. It is not possible for a balloon to look like a balloon when it it made from anything besides a balloon. Thank you.
For me, it inspired the following two limericks:
There once was a blue wedding cake,
Where balloons looked suspiciously fake.
Yes, they looked like white sperm,
To the point where you'd squirm,
And ask, "Was this designer half-baked?"
There once was a blue wedding cake,
With tadpoles that swam up to make,
What appeared like a stream,
From some happy wet dream,
Leaving guests asking "Why?" in its wake.
Love the blog as always!
-WM (the great disco newt)
I love that the ad alongside this post is for "Little Swimmers" (swim diapers). :)
Jon - is that cake making fun of butterfly and tadpole loving Canadians? Or Texans?
No need to actually approve this comment. Just wanted to say hi. :)
Wow can I have all those poems please lol. The cake the wreckerators can keep though since I have no clue why butterflies and sperms would go together in any way shape or form. Unless they are implying that the bride and groom multiply like a butterfly? Lol.
The comments today were the BEST! I especially like the re-do of "A Day in the Life" by Anonymous! The butterflies are pretty. To "mom"---so sorry about your loss. Thank you for sharing your story, and congratulations on the birth of your daughter.
I have an idea.
I think it would sure fix
Your cake. At the top,
All it needs is a cervix!
Those ARE sperm? Whaat?
Dear House of Collinsworth:
Thank you for sharing your story, and for your good sense of humor.
My little boy who is no longer with me would have turned six this year. While over time, it has gotten easier to say his name with a smile instead of tears, his birthday is always a hard day. I wish you peace, and love, and lots of snuggles from your "rainbow baby girl" for this week.
@Sally -I LOVE your poem! Made me laugh out loud. Fabulous!
@Mom who lost son, sorry for your loss and congratulations on the birth of your daughter. I am grateful that this cake gave you a laugh that day and me a laugh this day.
-WM (the great disco newt)
An anonymous commenter said that this cake was in honor of a boy who died. If that's true, that's sad. However, that doesn't mean this isn't a cake wreck. Wrecks are unintentionally funny, weird or sad cakes which were intended to be something else. And balloons have a long-standing tradition here of being made fun of. The sad story doesn't make the cake any less wrecky; if anything, it makes it more wrecky.
This is the kind of cake you get from a customer who doesn't take advice from the professionals!
The horrible color was probably chosen to coordinate with some horrible decorations or horrible bridesmaid dresses. I wouldn't be surprised if there are actual balloons and butterflies at the wedding, too.
House of Collinsworth:
Thank you for laughing, sharing
grace, wit, and hearts' ease.
This is the first time I've commented but I was completely intrigued by the story of this cake. House of Collinsworth: I'm so sorry for your gloss and glad you were comfortable sharing your story hear. I'm glad you were able to have a happy memory from that day and can acknowledge a wreck for what it is! I started reading your blog and found the part linking to your friend (the baker's) blog. I looked at the baker's website and she really does have some amazing cakes! I'm not saying this cake isn't a wreck, because as beautifully done as it is, it will always be a "butterfly and sperm" cake. However, check out her other great work: http://sugarandspicesweets.blogspot.com/
Your penis should go with me. I'm a vagina. Frosting comes out of my blog.
I can just imagine the bride and groom's faces. To say nothing of their guests.
Micheal Bauser you should have read the above comments before posting...
It looks like the sperm are CHASING the poor butterflies! The carnage! THE CARNAAAAGE! Oh, the insect-manity! XD Wait, wait, if one of the little guys manages to catch a butterfly, would that be "insect-icide"?
This post makes me so sad. Other than the sperm-balloons, this is a really beautiful cake.
love the poem option #2 :D I have to tell my new friend Freerange poet about the haikus. he LOVES haiku!
Maybe it was a mormon wedding? Catholic wedding? Shotgun wedding????
Two layers of my wedding cake was made of styrofoam, and the top layer was real. No one knew, and it saved money.
Well, I came back a few weeks later to see if, in fact, the baker had requested the picture be pulled. Guess they haven't seen it.
I loved this picture! A true "spit your coffee all over your keyboard" moment.
I would have scattered festively foil wrapped condoms all over the table around the cake for added effect.....
Something old
Something new
Something borrowed (*cough*)
Something blue
Homunculi and imagines. It all sounds better in Latin. On a cake of pastel Prussian blue. Nummy.
Gives a whole new meaning to "baby batter"!
my first post!! thank u for the "eying children" part!!!!!
Sperm AND butterflies!
Reminds me of the song, that I probably have the lyrics wrong to, but this is how I sing it :-)
Cum my lady,
Cum cum my lady,
You're my butterfly,
Sugar baby...
I wonder if that's the song they walked down the aisle to??? hmmm...
* Ring Ring *
Hello, Bakery
Wait, what? Wedding cake? Yes, we just delivered it. Light blue cake with butterflies. Our delivery driver, Lonely Dave, was supposed to drop it off.
What's that? No, nothing but butterflies...
Why are butterflies swimming with the sperm?
Just a thought. Might this Christian song, Bullfrogs and Butterflies, be the thought behind the cake? If so, I think I would have gone with a nature theme instead of the solid blue. I'm sure there were plenty of snickers at the wedding reception. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G5q-1KMIRAo
For anyone looking at this old post that can't figure out the rhyme in the second one: begins with "Sh."
(Only posting because I skimmed through all the comments trying to figure it out. Eventually had to google a site that lists words that rhyme with whatever you put in.)