Monday
Jul122010
The Men of Marvel
July 12, 2010 Note: This post is not appropriate for young children. And the older ones will be all, "Ooooohh! I'm gonna tell DADDY!!" so you might lock them out, too.
Spiderman's dirty little secret revealed:
Now that's a Dynamic Duo.Here's one of the lesser-known heroes, Essenem Man:
He may not be much of a fighter, but he is always on the ball.
GRRAAA!! HULK TENSE!!HULK TRY RELIEVE TENSION.
The good news: little Ryder had no idea why his mom was in such a hurry to cut the cake.
The bad news: everyone else at the party did.Liz D., Kristen C., Mark F., & Rebecca J., I would tell you who my favorite superhero is, but I'm afraid it's a three-way tie.
Note: If you're wondering, the second cake is supposed to be Batman. Obviously.
Reader Comments (107)
Superman...those eyelashes...
Ambiguously gay . . . trio? Lorne Michaels would be proud of that last cake . . . although it's not all that ambiguous really. "What's everyone looking at?"
Batman and Superman are DC. Hulk and Spider-man are Marvel.
I suppose it's a statement for how clean-minded I am that I didn't understand why a single one of these was dirty.
I think the reason some of us don't quite "get" the Batman/S&M cake is because we're not that familiar with the, um, err, toys? that are used during that activity. And yes, I'm implying that the rest of you are into S&M >;~) The only relatable image that comes to mind for me is from those scenes in the movie Pulp Fiction. Still curious? Search "Pulp Fiction bring out the gimp" on Youtube and flip through some of the clips. You'll get the gist of it.
The Hulk cake makes me *headdesk* repeatedly.
The rest, wow. For some wrecky wrecks, these are some of the wreckiest! XD
I see rule 34 has begun invading innocent bakeries. O_o
holy crap I am such an innocent - because "essenem" didn't click until about 20 comments in... thanks for corrupting my poor sweet innocent little self :)
(okay, so it's not totally your fault...)
The most obscene thing of all is that the last cake is mixing DC and Marvel characters. That's just wrong!!!
I knew there was a reason girls liked the Hulk. LOL
Wow, those cakes are just creepy.
I couldn't tell if Spiderman was laying face up, or face down.
About 10 years ago, there was a soft-porn flick on late-night HBO that was a spoof of the Spiderman movies -- the female lead produced her webs the same way...
I thought that second cake was actually a pretty good rendition of the Creature from the Black Lagoon.
I'm surprised that some people don't see what's wrong with some of these cakes.
1. Look at where those webs are coming from....
2. The key word there might be "ball." Add another word to that and you might have it.
3. An unfortunate placement of a line.... And maybe a hand, too.
4. Maybe my mind is always in the gutter, but... just an 'awkward' placement of characters. :) And I don't know if Batman is looking on in disapprovement per se....
*blush*
I thought the second one was an attempt at Black Bolt.
::runs off to Google Images:: http://www.marveldirectory.com/individuals/b/blackbolt.htm
But then, I've managed to not catch any showings of whichever Bat-movie had the body armor with nipples (clearly this wreckerator's inspiration, if that really Batman.
I kinda noticed the hulk wording, but my eyes kept falling to an odd line on his person.
i thought #2 was the lochness monster! in any case, still a miss.
Cake 2 contains a ball-gag. Look it up if you must, but be aware that plenty of NSFW stuff will come up.
I wouldn't have seen them if someone hadn't pointed them out. My mind just isn't in the gutter, I guess. I still don't see some of them...but that's okay, I don't want any more explanations.
At least the first cake is close to being accurate -- spider webs come out their behinds. LOL
I wasn't sure if that Batman cake was a really, really bad Spidey in the Venom suit or a really bad Batman.
And because my comic-book collecting husband has me well-trained, I feel compelled to point out that Batman & Superman are from the DC universe while Spiderman and the Hulk are indeed from the Marvel universe.
-Janna
I also think it is odd that people don't see what's dirty about these. This must be the cleanest minded community on the internet or something.
I can't think of any way to interpret the last one *other* than a gay superhero threesome in which Superman is inexplicably wearing mascara. And can you really not see anything remotely suggestive about Spiderman shooting giant streams of ropey white web fluid RIGHT OUT OF HIS CROTCH?
I suppose the second one is a bit more tenuous, if it hadn't been for the commentary, I might have just thought it was a bad drawing of Darth Vader, but once it has been pointed out, it *does* look much more like something from an S&M dungeon with a ball gag than Darth Vader, certainly more so than Batman. I mean really, what was the decorator aiming for when they drew the mouth like that? Epeccially if they were trying to make a Batman cake. Once it has been seen, it cannot be unseen...
And the third one, well I don't know, but I just can't stop laughing at the commentary for that. It fits the picture so well. If the decorator had just drawn the line of the shorts a little higher, or the hand a little further in almost any direction really, it would have been fine, but no no, they had to draw a picture of Hulk grabbing his crotch. With motion lines. And now I'm giggling all over again.
And Hulk also looks like a ZOMBIE! BRAAIIIINNNNSSS!
WV: glerstu. Batman sure glerstu much on that third cake.
yikes! LOL I just saw what made Hulk so naughty!
the frisky trio is still my favorite though. it's just too wild! poor Ryder....glad someone got a picture of the cake before it was sliced and diced!
The "trio" is definatly a wreck, superman is DC not marvel.....Oh wait, I see it now, *snickers*
LOL. Twice. I showed my husband. Got multiple wide-eyed shocks out of him.
He also thought the second one was Swamp Thing.
That dynamic threesome was amazing!
Your comments are perfect.
Alex
LOL the kid's name is Ryder! That's hilarious!!
ROFLMAO @ Rachel! I was like, "She got the words wrong - it's supposed to be 'bud' to rhyme with "bloo- BWAHAHAHAHAHA!"
just wait until that kid grows up... when he'll see pics of his cake.
hyuk hyuk hyuk... jeez innocent little cakes and...
It doesn't say HAPPYE BIRTHDAY ANNIVERSARY...it says HAPPY BIRTHDAY & ANNIVERSARY. Not sure that's any better.
I have to go rinse my eyes out with soap now.
what do you mean "obviously" for that alleged Batman cake?!? clearly, it's the Swamp Thing after losing a battle with a Norelco shaver driven by Satan...er, Santa!
All I think when I look at the first one is: His Spidey senses must've been tingling...
Stares hard at that second cake.. Batman you say. Hmmm keeps staring until eyes blur. Could be the Phantom for all I see lol. I don't think the wreckerator would know Batman if he snuck up and bit them then again something had to have attacked this wreckerator.. and that Hulk looks a bit constipated no wonder he is tense poor guy lol.
nuh uh, the 2nd cake looks like the creature from the black lagoon!
I thought the Spiderman cake was pretty funny, but then I literally burst out laughing at the Hulk cake. O-M-G!
I'm glad I'm not the only one who noticed the mixing of Marvel and DC on the same cake. I mean, aside from the obvious (and hilarious) irony of the kid's name being "Ryder" these worlds do not mix. It's like a wreck within a wreck. haha.
I love the spidy one...
Cake 2 is the swamp thing and obviously his swamp is polluted because he looks to be a tad on the poo side.
For the life of me I couldn't figure out the 2nd cake...I thought it was the swamp thing, too. Yet, immediately, my 7 yo says "That's a really bad Batman!". I still can't figure out how he got it!
LMAO I always knew I had a dirty mind, but these cakes had me blushing. Please tell me non of these where made for kids. LOL
It is bad that I would love to get one of these for my next party. LOL
The last cake had me laughing so hard that I was no longer making any noise, just sort of shaking and nearly asphyxiating from an overdose of mirth. It's like someone made a cake of a particularly kinky fanfic!
The third cake is the Ambiguously Gay Trio! :)
Somehow I don't see the wreck in the first one, maybe it's my monitor. What's in the web?
wv: redis
I think my friends should redis...they would laugh too.
Oh wait...ok. As someone else pointed out, though, the web placement would be fairly appropriate if Spidey WERE an actual spider...yeah. Wrecked. *L*
My new WV was also pretty good...
WV: sanist
These bakers were certainly not the sanist bunch of people.
I thought the second cake was supposed to be Venom. *shrugs*
hahaha...oh man. this was funny. and sooo...inappropriate? thank you.
The hulk cake says "Happy Birthday & Anniversary", not Happy Birthdaye.
I guess the DC heroes really do hate the Marvel heros. Poor Spidy.
The silver one is possibly the worst cake I have seen - it looks like it has a bad case of bathroom mould.
Blueboysarego