Thursday
May132010
Jen GraduRants
May 13, 2010 It's getting about that time again. You know the one, don't you?
Thaaat's right! The one where Wreckerators wrestle with the seemingly simple "Congratulations."For some reason, various unholy alliances of the words "graduation" and "congratulations" keep popping up:
"Gratulation"
"Gradulation"
"Congraduations"(Your soul dies a little more with each one of these, doesn't it?)
"Whatever this says."
"Happy Graduations"?!?Oh. Wait. Actually, that's almost correct. I wonder if someone forgot the "L."
There's a theory floating around that some of these word mash-ups are intentional; a "cute" misspelling to save the decorator from writing out the overly long and excessively complicated "congratulations graduate."
To this I say: [rude noise].
Good grief, people, you're celebrating an educational achievement! This is not the time for "cutesy" misspellings! So just write out "Congrats" and be done with it! That's not so hard, is it?!?
Excuse me. [sound of head hitting desk repeatedly] This may be a while.
In the meantime, enjoy your cake with the bottle of urine/beer on it.
(Either way, someone's getting pissed.) (Because in Britain "pissed" = "drunk." See? I'm even funny in different languages.*)
Shelby, Angie M., Briana G., D.H., Pam G., & Anony M., Gradu...Congalu...Gradcon...Uh. Good job!
* Yes. We know.
Reader Comments (162)
Oh, lovely, looking at those cakes when I'm having to host a graduation party tomorrow with about 100 graduates and family members. However, I will get a cake with NO writing on it to keep from being represented on this web site!
OMG, I can’t get past cake #5, the “Sucking Vortex of Death” cake! What is it saying? “Your soul is now the possession of a corporate, cubicle-death nightmare?” Aaaaaaaaaaauuuuugggghhh!!!
^..^
At least Michelle's cake is pretty and fixable. Take a butter knife and scrape off the "s."
The last one is just completely WTF. And gross looking, too! What IS all that crap?
LOL. Love the translation of English on the last cake.
My graduation cake had a flask of urine on it too. But that was less because of a wreckorator and more because of my crazy Uncle Jim.
You know, if someone is graduating from Con Artist School, then Con Grads is appropriate. :)
http://agirlinherkitchen.blogspot.com
The truly irritating thing is that I keep seeing "congradulations" for events that have nothing whatsoever to do with commencement!
But I will say that Michelle's cake has some of the prettiest writing I've ever seen...
I am hoping that Michelle is graduating from more than one place. Does anyone else see the smiley face in the swirls on the bottom left of cake number 5?
That fifth cake is a masterpiece. I love how the wreckerator apparently wrote "Gaadulalions" and then caught him/herself and went back to add "Con" to the beginning.
ConGaadulalions!
Jessica
I worked as a decorator in a grocery store bakery and I cannot tell you how many times the order taker would fill in these requests as 'congradulations'. Luckily I knew to fix it. Then one day the order taker walks by and sees me making it correctly and asks if I am spelling it right! The educational system these people are 'gradulating' from!!
Unfortunately, this is our future….
A couple weeks ago, I got to read through Scholarship application essays for high school seniors at Unnamed High School. All I have to say is God help those of us who still know the English language and how to use it appropriately.
What I read was horrific. The district superintendent and I discussed the problems afterwards and I wasn’t very kind about the issue. I don’t care how good UHS’s standardized test scores are, kids need to be learning how to spell, properly punctuate a sentence, and properly format a formal paper for life in the real working world. I don’t think they even know how to use the flippin’ spell/grammar/usage check that comes with MS Word.
I had a headache after reading through the garbage; and my teenager said if he was grading papers, he would have failed 75% of them.
Maybe we could have a non-wrecky graduation cake assortment for Sunday Sweets? Pretty Please!
ConDnadulaliona!
Ooohh.. I thought that urine/beer was a badly drawn bong. Either way, very classy.
The worst part is the more I see these, I begin to forget how the word is actually spelled!
I can't even handle whatever the pictures on that last cake are suppose to be - but they're definitely disgusting!
Why does the last cake look like it has drug paraphernalia on it? Looks like somebody picked a party college.
For the last cake, I suspect Ashley majored in chemistry and the decorations are supposed to represent lab glassware. Or perhaps I'm overinterpreting. Yellow is not the best choice, in any event.
All Cake Wrecks fans would like the movie "Spellbound," which is a documentary about the National Spelling Bee.
When one young contestant wins the regional round of the competition, her hometown Hooters restaurant (yes, Hooters) posts a sign saying, "Congradulations Alma."* Now nobody can deny that Hooters values good spelling.
*Maybe her name wasn't Alma. It's been a few years since I saw the movie. But I couldn't forget the "Congradulations."
I’d say the last cake is for a chem major, looks like a test tube and a round bottom flask.
And “Gradulation” must be the adoration and gifts (aka money) expected by the young adult simply because they have managed to complete 4 years of college or whatever!
Interestingly, I know both a Michelle and a Briana graduating this spring. Wonder if either of these cakes belong to them?
Guys, that's not drug paraphernalia. Ashley is clearly a graduating chemistry major.
The beer/urine bottle is a Florence flask. Check out http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Florence_flask--the image even contains yellow fluid!
The other drawing is obviously a test tube full of poo.
The last cake is obviously for a chemist. Many chemicals do look like urine, so they did a pretty good job. I would be slightly afraid of the crazy vapors going up the neck of the flask.
I believe "Congraduations" came from a Laverne & Shirley episode where the landlady's mentally challenged daughter was graduating and Shirley made a banner that said that.
Or at least that's what I remember from watching the show in my youth.
I had to spell Congratulations on a cookie yesterday, and I made VERY SURE that I spelled it correctly. And I agree about the school system. I have worked with several high school students in the last few years and all they had to do was file. They don't know how to spell or even know their ABC's, and these kids were the "Best of the Best" that were allowed to work with our office. That's scary....that's our future????
Sharon's Edible Art
I congraduated in 2001 and I didn't get a cake this cool. JEALOUS.
*headdesk* *facepalm*
Daniel, I think you're right. I wondered why the "G" in ConGaadulations was capitalized, but it makes sense if the "Con" was added afterwards.
I work at a newspaper and used to handle all the birthdays/weddings/engagement notices that came in for what were then free postings. I saw "congradulations" more times than I saw "congratulations" in those messages. I always corrected them and hoped people realized their mistake.
Congraduationns, I've now forgotten how to spell both words.
Dear Jen, as I try to reach the end of an academic goal (and I'm afraid there is no "congraduations" cake waiting for me...), you provide me with one means of procrastination. And for that I have been a loyal reader for quite a long time, as I've been "studying" for quite some time. But you make procrastination all the harder when the posts first appear at 9:30 (EST?). You see, for those of us on the "other side of the pond," that means the AFTERNOON. Not even "right after lunch procrastination time" afternoon, but actually right at the "after lunch procrastination time is over, so now I should actually be working time". Now, as a life-time enrolled student, I appreciate sleeping in more than anyone, but I suspect you don't have German punctuality and are actually setting everything up to just be automatically posted at exactly 9:30 EST. So, could you help out a loyal reader in their procrastination and set up that automatic posting time to a be a bit earlier so that the procrastination may commence a bit earlier? I have now banned myself from all the usual websites and facebook to finish my thesis, and your site is one of the few "allowed" ones -- what else am I to do during my lonely mornings?
All the thanks in any case for this great service to humanity -- I'm sure we're all slowly improving our spelling one day at a time! :D
The last one is for a science major. It's a beaker & test tube, of course! LOL!
What a shame. That one undecipherable cake was really pretty--until they put a swirling airbrushed brown VORTEX on it. Is it a black hole sucking down the word? is it supposed to mesmerize (wreckerator version: memorize) the viewer? I liked the flowers and vines otherwise.
Anyhoo, I think it says something like this: ConGoadulaliona (without the dot on the i)
Still, WTF does THAT mean?
Ashley's cake...did she have a problem with drinking in school and she finally graduated? was she a chemistry major? why do the beakers have to have urine yellow and poo brown contents? THAT ARE SPELLING OUT HER CAKE INSCRIPTION by the way.
I know! maybe she's a graduating wreckerator! And she had to learn how to make poo brown and urine yellow icing, hence the inscription creeping out of the beakers.
That's my theory and I'm sticking to it.
I love that although there are strange misspellings going on, at least the script is nicely done in *most* of them! As if that makes up for the errors.... but imagine how pretty they would have been if written correctly! ;)
Julie319 - I was just ranting about this yesterday. I work in customer service answering emails and it appears that no one knows how to put together a coherent sentence any more. My parents live in a small town (300 people) and received a letter from the town stating that their water/sewer/garbage bill was going up $5.00 to cover the cost of some new system they need to put in, only it took at least a dozen partial sentences to convey this idea. It was horrifying.
That being said, the ConGaa cake was really pretty, except for the misspelling and the airbrushed brown smear in the middle.
My parents ordered half a sheet cake for my high school graduation. It was supposed to be green and yellow with "Congratulations Valedictorian!" on it. It was white and yellow, with "Congratuation Valedictation" scrawled in off center red icing.
Classic.
Unfortunately, this seems to be another of those annoying/depressing new words.
I weep for the English language!
I weep for the English language!
This merger of words has run amok!
Hey, we get pissed in Canada too. I didn't know that Americans don't really use that phrase. Interesting......
This is why I couldn't spell congratulations until I was like 12. And I was a good speller. But because of all the "cutesy" cards that said "congradulations," I'd always get confused. Grrrrr!
And hey, maybe the Happy Graduations cake was for multiple graudations. Maybe it's actually grammatically correct! (too much to hope for)
I was in tears by "beer/urine" but completely lost it at "even funny in different languages."
I had almost regained my composure when I noticed Tigerwolf's "Sucking Vortex of Death" comment.
*wiping tears*
Yeah, some days I'm glad I got out of bed.
Pfff. I prefer to think the last cake is a bong and a cigar. Because it's funnier.
I like that on the second one (before I was really paying attention to the THEME here) I thought the handprint of roses, the random paper hat and the 'H' trying to make a wiggly escape were all valid reasons to be featuring this cake.
Then: "Oh! Gratulation...and then there's that."
Are those bongs in the last one? Oh man!
Congraduations or Gradulations almost almost almost sounds like it could be a pun. I can imagine that, right?
I'm not sure what schools are teaching these days other than test-taking, but it is clear that the spelling drills I went through may be a thing of the past. I've heard many posit that spelling and proper grammar, punctuation, etc are not important "as long as the message gets across". I say that the message can't get across if these things are not observed. Tweeting and texting are further serving to degrade the language.
I will now get down off my soap box. Thanks for listening.
I kind of like the scroll work and flowers on the 5th cake, minus the misspelling and the poo swirl in the middle!
At least the cake with "Briana" on it spelled that right (for our house anyway)
I realize that the last one is supposed to be a chemistry cake, but all I think when I look at it is a bong and a smoking poo-cigar!
Seriously, why don't these bakeries post "commonly misspelled words" over the tables/counters where their employees do their job. Or atleast give them a simple spelling test as part of the hiring process.
Still trying to get over the bloody handprint rose arrangement in #2.
Wow, just wow. You know, I don't believe my own "gradulation" cake had these problems XD