John's Birthday Suit
November 2, 2010 It's my birthdy! And by "my" I mean it's john (the hubby of Jen)'s birthay. Granted, I don't usually speak of myself in the third person (unless I'm in the midst of seduction [which, admittedly, rarely works (but John never knows unless he tries!)])...but...um...where was I?
Oh, yeah: It's my birhday!
I originally wanted to write about those Canadian Nazi carrots you can buy at Epcot, but then I figured I'd just show you a bunch of misspelled cakes, so my own misspellings look international. Because I'm crazy like that. And giving. Yep, John's a giver.
[eyebrow waggle]
I believe it's spelled "Shirk." And since I did avoid seeing the last movie, this kind of works.Isn't this called an oxymaroon?
Although if you roll the "r" while reading it out loud, you'll sound just like Sherk! Go on. Try it.This one also seems a little contradictionary:
"Stop that right this second! Don't make me pull this event over!"And since you long-time Wreckies know how fond I am of Earth Day cakes...
Listen! Do you smell Epcot?And finally, this is not a cake, but I've gotta say...
...I pay way more for Jen's pasties.Hm? What's this? Jen's telling me "pasties" are also British meat pies.
John thinks she's trying to tell him something. [eyebrow waggle]
John also would like to know why Jen rolls her eyes so much.
[duckface]
[Barry White music]
Awwww yeahhh. Mmmmmmm, baaaby. John knows what you want:
In fact, because I'm such a giver, we're going to give stuff away every day this week, with even *more* give-aways on Facebook. Who loves me? Who is it? Oh yeah, it's you. Mmmhmmm. Happy briday to ME.
Check tomorrow's post for the winner's names, and also for your next chance to win stuff. Also watch the CW Facebook page this week for more chances to win exclusive CW pin packs and assorted goodies.
Reader Comments (768)
I don't -think- I already saw this...so, here goes...
Happy Birthday.
Happy Birthday.
May the candles on your cake
Burn like cities in your wake
On your Birthday...
Happy Birthday.
Storm the castle, burn the keep.
Kill the women -- SAVE THE SHEEP!
On your Birthday...
Happy Birthday.
This one lesson you must learn:
First you pillage *then* you burn.
On your Birthday.
Happy Birthday.
If you have never heard this before, please google "Birthday Dirge". I'm sure there is a video/recording somewhere of someone singing it.
Do you use buttercream or ganache to glue on your pasties? [waggling eyebrows]
"Haappyyyy Birthdayyyy to youuuu...
Haappyyyy Birthdayyy to youuuu...
Happpyyy Biiirthdayyy, Mr. Johnnnn...
Happyyy Biirthdayyy to you
Thanks, Mr John
For all the things you’ve done...
The flotsam you've seen...
The way you deal with CCCs...
And our poo cakes by the ton...
We thank you so much
Everybody, happy birthday"
Happy Birthday, John!
I'm having a moral dilemma trying to think up a "sexy" post because I know you're a married man. NO SEXY FOR YOU!
Happy Birthday, Mr. President.
I remember the moment like it was yesterday. The sun was shining. The atmosphere of The King's English was redolent with laughter and the smell of cake. I was eating a concoction of fudgy goodness, whiling away the time until Signing Group D was called.
And suddenly, there you were, sitting on the lawn next to me. Our eyes met, and I knew that the twinkle in them was just for me. Your fingers brushed mine as you gave me a pin. It said, "I want sprinkles!" and I swore then and there I would forever be known as Sprinkles.
(Ok, not really. Because that's kind of a weird nickname. And I gave the pin to my daughter who was with me that day, the one who took the picture, and then you grabbed the camera and took a picture of all of us, including Jen- hi Jen!- at arm's length and it turned out truly hilarious, and I keep bugging her to send it to you, but what with college and work and stuff...)
Um. Yeah. So I guess the moment wasn't as sexy as I remembered it. But still, Hppy Brithday Under Neat That Something Funny! (And just for Jen- Amuse me, Monkey!)
-Another Jen
Happy Birthday, bebeh! You're the wreckiest!
Happy Birthday! Hope it's grrrrreet!
Greet job with the eyebrow waggle, Jon-ay. Yer wee lass may make ye pay more fer 'er pasties, but I'm sure they're grand for ye. Less, a'course, they're cupcake pasties ... Then yer done fer! And she'd be madder than a hen in a cockhouse too! Wait, er, what was that? Mah dang metaphers ..
(Happy Birthday! Great post!)
I'm British so I had no idea that pasties were anything other than a delcious savoury pastry product until I read todays post!
Anyway Happy Birthday John, in a British style, wishing you a very stiff...
...upper lip of course, what were you thinking?
Awwwwwwwww, yeaahhhhh. I've got 240 dollars worth of puddin' for ya, John!
WV = "tridati" - when the site "Go Daddy" is having a bad day, it doesn't really go, it just tries.
Happy Birdthay!
Happy Brthiday!
May the Candles on your cake
burn like cities in your wake!
Happy Boithday!
Happy Rithbady!
Let the women wail and weep
Slay them all but spare the SHEEP!
(Like eevry good Sherk, ookay Don-kay?)
WV-Neezin- Sit down, shut up, keep yer neezin and hold on to the Epcot!
http://velcrowallpaper.blogspot.com/" rel="nofollow">Velcro Wallpaper, When you absolutely, positively need a break from the kids!
Happy birthday indeed!
And where's the surprise in telling you in advance about what's sexy? It's all in the unexpectedness!
Sandra
Okay, I'm hoping you just pick comments at random because I canNOT do sexy in this situation! Too weird.
Anon Rebecca
(Ahem, let me try this again.0
Sapo Verde to chew!
Sapo Verde to chew!
Sapo Verde to Juaaaannn!
Sapo Verde to chew!
Sezy no?
In the words of my son's first birthday cake .... "Happy Birthay" John.
Hooray! Hooray! Hooray! Hooray Today is Johns Birthday! Not the beavers or the bears, not the pickels or the pears, not tomorrow or yesterday, But today is Johns Birthday!!!!
Hope you have a fun day today.
ps. The song is way more fun in person. Hope you've heard it before so you know the tune.
While "pasties" may indeed be a real thing, I'm having a hard time believing they were selling little meat pies at a coffee shop. COME ON, PEOPLE! They accidentally left the "r" out of "pastries." IT'S FUNNY!!
Anon Rebecca
Happy birthday!!!
I think my hubby has taken lessons on seduction from you... I'm usually laughing so hard that I'm powerless to resist. :)
thanks for putting "grrrrrreeeet job, don-kay!" in my head. it'll be there all. day. long. and so i thank you on behalf of my coworkers, as well :). because i'm sure they'll be hearing it.
Have a very happy birthday. Now imagion that said from a cute girl in a semi-steampunk outfit. I've even put back on a bowler hate for you. Sexy enough?
Sexiest comment...
Well, my boyfriend always seems to like it when I get his obscure references. So does it make it sexy if I tell you I got your Ghostbusters reference? Does it make it sexier if I tell you I went as Zuul for Halloween?
That's it, that's all I got.
- K.Cooper
Happy Birthday, Pastie Man!
Pasties to go with cake... Sounds like the world's most messed up buffet at a strip join. Happy birthday, John!
Bummer. I'm too late to be the sixtieth comment. Or was that Sexiest? Hmm, sexy. Ok, here you go: "Mmmm, Oooh, Ahhhh, Ohhhhh yeah. YES! YES! YES!........ That is the best cake ever!!! (She said with a wink and a smile.)
Happy Birthday!
M. Card
Hmmm - sexiest post, eh?
Well, my boyfriend always appreciates it when I get his nerdy references. So does it make it sexy if I say I got your Ghostbuster reference? Does it make it sexier if I say I went as Zuul for Halloween? Guess what, big guy - they're both true!
That's it - that's all my sexiness. I'm spent. (Sorry if this is a repost - reposts are sexy, too, though.) - Cooper
LMAO as usual! Ave a greet berthdy Jun! May yer day be filled with greet things like $1 Pasties!
Holly says she hopes John has a Hippo Burfday (in her most sexiest voice of course)!
Wuubuh Wuubuh.
Honk if you love pasties on Jesus Dino cakes.
john (the hubby of Jen)
Hippy barth day too yuuuuuuuu
Wreckers live in a zoo
They frost cakes like a monkeyyyyyy
Aaaaannnnd they spell like one too!
Did you have a firm grip on your patriotism and vote today? :-D
Lois V.
My wv is calend. It means I need a 2011 calendar [batting eyelashes] Please?!
Happy Bearthdy! :D My birthday is tonight/tomorrow according to the Hebrew calendar. Does that count for anything?
Happy Birthday John! That's coming from a librarian. And there's no one sexier than a librarian, right?
Maybe if I sing to you while I stare at you from above my glasses. Ahem.
Hippo birdie, two ewe...hippo birdie two ewe, hippo birdie, deer John, hippo birdie, two ewe!
Okay, that's enough. Shhhhhhhhh!!!
-Jeanette
Well, you know what I thought when I read pasties!? It was going to be an amazing birthday! I'm glad you get to celebrate the greet day at the polls voting!
Happy Birthday!
Happy birthday John!
Pasties are delicious, especially cornish pasties which were originally given to miners for their lunch. One side was meat and vegetables and the other was full of apple or other such delicious fruit.
Knowledge is sexy!
Although having read Allie's post about haggis I'm now tempted to try haggis pastie experiments.
Mmmmmmmmm haggis...
WV: warsub. I launch my warsub at the dastardly wreckers. Those dastards!
Picture this John;
Marilyn Monroe with her pouty lips and her little white dress leaning into the microphone singing Happy Birthday to You yes you John!
Ok that's the fantasy, here are the facts!
I'm fifty, flabby and fabulous and for sure wishing you a Pea Pod HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!
PicklePie's Nan
Happy "Birday" John! My wish for you is that Jen remembers that icing is not just for cake (at least that's what my hubby keeps telling me!) ;)
Thanks for the countless laughs!
Happy Birthday!
I read the last line of writing on the third cake as "Grease the Marmot", which worries both me and the local marmot population.
Razzamatazz & Rootie Toot Toot
I'd like to see you in your birthday suit.
Hey- at my age that's as sexy as it gets, pal.
Happy Birthday John! I have one question - are Jen's pasties edible? I mean, I thing the glitter glamor of tassels are cool and all, but the real fun begins with edible tassels pasties! (Think candy necklace).
Happy birtday, John.
haha These are great!
Happy Birthday! Eat lots of cake! (Just be sure the deli guy decorates it).
(singing with a sexy voice)
"You're older than you've ever been and now you're even older,
and now you're even older,
and now you're even older.
You're older than you've ever been
and now you're even older,
and now you're older still."
Happy Birthday John! Now I'm gonna have Barry White stuck in my head all day - not exactly a bad thing :)
Heppy bihrday, John.
May your life be full of pasties and mithspellings. Long live CW, john(husband of Jen), and Jen... and all his {[(o)]}{[(o)]}
(o)(o)
(O)(O)
~~Di
"Happy birthday
Happy birthday to you
Happy birthday
Happy birthday to you
I guess you know the Earth is gonna crash into the sun,
But that's no reason why we shouldn't have a little fun!
So if you think it's scary, if it's more than you can take
Just blow out the candles and have a piece of cake!
Happy birthday
Happy birthday to you
Happy birthday
Happy birthday to you
And a pinch to grow an inch!"
I love Weird Al! Happy Birthday, John, and many many more!
Sexiest, hmm?
How YOU doin'?
-waggle-
Happy birthday!