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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Wednesday
Aug262009

9 Out of 10 Child Psychologists Agree:

These cakes will keep them in business for a loooong time.

"Come closer, children. We only want to wish you a happy birthday. Hehehehe. Thaaat's right, just a littttle closer...."

[insane giggling]

"What? Haven't you ever seen a partially melted M&M before? I may only have a hand stump, but I can still clean your clock, buster. Just ask the last guy."


"Mmmphm eeeph mmife!"

Lisa F., Teresa F., Michelle T., & Nana T., these cakes could be a powerful parenting tool. "Behave, kids, or I'll take you to the bakery again!"

- Related Wreckage: Nah, These Won't Traumatize the Kids at ALL

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Reader Comments (97)

I wish you could witness the look of utter disbelief and horror on my face right now.

What the hell is with these cakes? WHY does a hamburger have bloodshot eyes in the 1st picture? And WHY would someone pay $23.99 for that monstrosity?

Dear heavens... my inner child is freaking out.

August 26, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJust Me,Pilgrim

I'm so glad that others have pointed out the lit Cookie Monster still in the bag... what kind of lameass presentation is that?!

August 26, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDurable Goods

I submitted the "Cookie Monster" and if I could have posted the dialogue, it would have been Grandpa saying "Here! Light the s*** and let's go!"

That is the actual quote, folks. So my apologies for the "presentation" or lack thereof!

August 26, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterNina T.

Those fluffy little dogs are a near miss IMO. Their smiles are actually very sweet and their poses are cute--and from the photo, at least, it looks like the frosting fur is well done.

But the eyes AAAIEEE THE EYES.

Word verification: gynelene. The main ingredient in airbrush frosting.

August 26, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

OMG, that bloodshot-eyed hamburger cake (for only $23.99!!!) definitely gave me the willies!

Well, it was a toss-up between that and the deranged Sponge Bob.

WV: "decto" ~ Wreckerators may sometimes refer to their creations as 'art decto'.

August 26, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMandy

Why does the Hanburger cake have BLOODSHOT eyes? Why? It shouldn't have eyes in the first place! And why do they need to be bloodshot? I can't... I can't stop staring at them...

August 26, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDelaney

OMFG!!!

Sponge bob looks utterly demented. The rest look like they were made by someone demented!

August 26, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMiranda

The hamburger cake in the first picture looks like it's geared towards stoners. The eyes have it all.

August 26, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

OK, at first I thought the M&M cake was supposed to be the KoolAid man.

August 26, 2009 | Unregistered Commenter:::b r a n d i:::

The thing about the M&M cake - isn't the green one the female?!! Those legs on the red guy seem a little. . .. well appropriate for a wreck!

August 26, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterRebecca

At the risk of being pedantic, I think the third one is Mr. Jelly Belly. I only thought of this because I've been to the Jelly Belly factory (yum!) in Northern California. Still wrecktastic, though!

August 26, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

That m&m one looks more like the KoolAid man. OH YEAH!

August 26, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterRandall

the last blue thing (cookie monster wanna-be; I will take your word for it)...oh g*d I cannot stop laughing.

//on another note my captcha for this post was "grade F". Even the sec check has an opinion.

August 26, 2009 | Unregistered Commentermb.

Forget the CHILD psychologists...those are going to keep MY psychologist in business. AAAIIIEEEE....

August 26, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBrutalism

Haha, oh man, the Spngebob one is soo creepily terrifying that I can't stop laughing. XD Traumatize your target audience! Surely a recipe for success.

August 26, 2009 | Unregistered Commentersteeple333

Oh dear. Oh Dear... Oh DEAR!

I did a Spongebob once, and it was legless- which in my mind qualified it as a wreck...but after seeing this one...I think mine was PURE GENIUS! Wow. Really. Wow.

It takes a special sort of talent to make something like that - even more special to charge someone for it.

welltakethecake.com

August 26, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterTamara

Wow. Never seen a chef stripper M&M with cellulite before. Is that from their new fall line?

August 26, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterpeewee

I want to see the cake that Cakeblob Queerpants is lounging up against the pedestal OF. (I know, that's a pretty disjointed sentence. Whatever.)
Maybe that unseen cake looks even WORSE than Old Olive eyes, and he looked at it, and became hypnotized--frozen in fear--like someone who'd gazed upon Medusa.
That would make SOME sense, at least, of an otherwise just plain hinky cake.
=^@@^=

August 26, 2009 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

OMG! This is the first time I've laughed until I cried in a really long time.

These were great!

August 26, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKaileigh

What's with the colored spots on Spongebob's face? He looks like he has the sponge version of chicken pox.

August 26, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

The hamburger cake would have been cool if it didn't have eyes.

August 26, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterGoof

MOMMY! NOOOOOOO . . . . !!! I'll be good, I promise! Make it goooo awaaaaayyyy . . . Please . . . I'll be good, I promise!

Sorry, childhood cakewreck flashback . . .

word verify: 'tradu' A combined verb-noun, "I'll tradu one dead cookie monster cake for one stoned hamburger cake."

August 26, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterterri

Ahhh! The first one on the left is pretty much Bubbles the Nerdfighting Puppy!!

August 26, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterK.

Anonymous said...
"What's with the colored spots on Spongebob's face? He looks like he has the sponge version of chicken pox."
******
Shhhhhh~~ not many people know this, but Mr. Pants has been moonlighting as a way to make a few extra bucks.
When he's not on his show, he's hanging out in a petri dish in a laboratory [name and location witheld to protect the indegent], being a "guinea-sponge", as it were, for the testing of various new and exciting viruses {Watch for some coming soon to YOUR area!}.

August 26, 2009 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

in* de* gent [in-dee-juhnt]
-adjective

1. being of the class which are both indecent AND destitute (indigent)

2. a completely made-up word

August 26, 2009 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

On the M&M cake - my daughter asked "why does the tomato have circus peanuts for legs?" Oh my goodness those are bad.

August 26, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterTiffany @ Eat at Home

Spongebob looks like he has rainbow chickenpox and is "Special"

August 26, 2009 | Unregistered Commentermilk and cookeez

Oh wow! The M & M looks like it has had a few too many.

SpongeBob - I laughed out loud at this one. Too funny!

This is my first visit here. I am loving your site. Can't wait to come back and read some more.

August 26, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJulie

I think I now understand why my little guy wants me to bake him a plainish cake with a Transformer stuck on it for his upcoming birthday. Yup, he's willing to gamble on my baking abilities rather than get a wreck.

WV: misheent - I need a misheent that produces perfectly baked cakes with minimum input like a bread misheent.

August 26, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterroachc420

That's like a cross between Spongebob and the creepy old guy on the corner with the really baggy pants and the missing teeth, who your mother wouldn't let you talk to...

August 26, 2009 | Unregistered Commenter3T

Oh great ... now I'm going to have nightmares. *shudder*

August 26, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterScritzy

Is it just me, or does the M&M look like he's hitchiking? Just me? Okay.

He'd probably have better luck getting a ride if he was showing, you know chocolate instaid of those horribly mis-shapen legs.

August 27, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterRedd

Those are sure some feminine-looking legs on that M&M.

August 27, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterCamille

Those were awesome. Scary. But awesome.
I think the M&M one is supposed to be the Jelly Belly guy.

August 27, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMarie

My 3-year old loves Sponge Bob. She was next to me while I was checking this blog, and she immediately squealed and pointed at the screen. "There's Sponge Bob!" Long pause. "It's kind of a different Sponge Bob."

August 27, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

My thought with the cookie monster one is that he's been the victim of a zombie attack, and had the top of his head partially gnawed off.

August 27, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterTaeraresh

That spongbob one totally freaks me out!!! Whenever I look at it all I can hear is insane laughing!! (Thanks for that Jenn!)

I have chills just thinking about it!!!

Those dogs are weird too.... I don't trust them...

August 27, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBrae MacDonald

Is the middle cake in the first pic Mayor McCheese?

August 27, 2009 | Unregistered Commentermariamousie1

The first picture- the one in the middle, the hamburgerish thing? If someone got me that one, I would die of ironic joy at the sight.

August 27, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterCellar Door

the spongebob reminded me of spengbab, which is what you get when you run spongebob through anonymous

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w1WgbfyDZwA&feature=player_embedded

it doesn't get really bad until halfway thru

August 28, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAntillectual

LMFAO! I'm not sure what I enjoy more, the wrecks or the comments! I love the Chocolate chip mafia one! I can't believe "Grandpa" said that, LMFAO, he was real excited about the birthday, huh? LOL!

I totally saw the Kool-aid Man!

August 28, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJamie

You are the only blog that TRULY HONESTLY makes me LAUGH OUT LOUD every stinking day! Thanks!

August 30, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBethany

I'm the only one who thinks the Cookie Monster cake has the candles inserted INTO HIS FREAKING EXPOSED BRAIN?! I thought the caption was hilarious through that lens.

Q: What do you say when people are sticking candles in your brain?

A: "Mmmphm eeeph mmife!"

August 30, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDave

Did anyone else notice that Spongebob's tie is sitting on *top* of his hands... which are suspiciously in his lap???

September 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterPie's Mom

The SpongeBob cake...that aint right. Horrible, springs to mind. First and foremost. xx

October 13, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCupcakes Lady

The SpongeBob cake...that aint right. Horrible, springs to mind. First and foremost. xx

October 13, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCupcakes Lady

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