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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Tuesday
Aug252009

Truth in Advertising

Bakers, in today's lagging economy the race to earn customers' hard-earned dollars is on. So how can you stay ahead of your competition? With tasteful, quality display-cakes, that's how.

Yep, you want displays that draw people in. Displays that show off your skills. Displays that say, "Hey, we're a modern, 'with-it' bakery that knows just how to relate to today's generation."

"You see, kids, there once was a time when phones had cords on them."

You also want cakes that show you take your job seriously:

And that your figure modeling is second-to-none:

"GREETINGS, HUMANS. WE ARE TWO UNIQUE FEMALES WHO ENJOY SITTING IN CASUAL MANNERS. TAKE US HOME OR WE WILL STUN YOU WITH OUR LASER EYES. JUST KIDDING. HA. HA. HA."

But also some that show you aren't lacking in the crazy department:

"Proud to be the only bakery that offers large chocolate grenades in our 'Peeps VS Bobble-Heads Soccer Match in the Desert of Doom' design - now with random Rugrats!"

Jasmine D., Erin F., Lisa M., Sarah N., & Maren J., can you spot the grenade?

- Related Wreckage: Wrecks on Display

« 9 Out of 10 Child Psychologists Agree: | Main | Forget the Ballgame. Just Take Me Out. »

Reader Comments (128)

I think the doll on the first cake is so embarrassed to be associated with that work of art, she's trying to climb inside and hide.

On the cool teen cake, is that a hairbrush or a chicken leg she's holding???

August 25, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterThe Courteous Chihuahua

Cake #3 might be for a Texas Aggie (Whoop!).

I don't think cake #4 is supposed to be two women. The one on the right looks like a British glam rocker. Complete with feathered locks.

Random Rugrats and the first-season human cast of Pokémon -- I see Misty and maybe Brock.

August 25, 2009 | Unregistered Commenter~ Rebecca

Hilarious! That last one made me laugh so hard I cried. Thanks - I needed that this morning!

August 25, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterShandra - MFCAA

Not only random Rugrats but isn't the girl off to the left Misty from Pokemon? Yeah, and that's Brock toward the back on the right! Now we should REALLY want one of their cakes! =)

August 25, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterCathyBB

There's some pokemon characters on the last cake! Haven't seen THEM in forever...
And all in all, the second cake was really quite nice besides the fact that, ya know, it looks like a scene out of Bye Bye Birdie...

August 25, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

My first reaction to the soccer match cake was "Is the netting made of Swiss cheese?" At least it would have added a little calcium, which may be all the isn't on that cake.

WV adthmatt I was very adthmatt about what frosting I wanted on the cake.

August 25, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterdrgns4vr

Okay, the telephone cake isn't all THAT bad. a little dated, but at least the art work is nice.

The figures ARE a little creepy, I'll admit, but I've seen far worse (like my figures. totally scary).

I saw the gernade, and yeah, THAT cake is totally wrecktastic!

August 25, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterTrevor

hahaha! Perfectly "human" ladies with scary eyes are hilarious :)

August 25, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBilby P. Dalgyte

The "Desert of Doom" cake also features random Pokémon characters. I wonder if Misty is rooting for the Peeps.

August 25, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBarbara A.

The Peeps don't stand a chance. The Bobbleheads each have a ball. The creepy man in orange pants needs to blow the whistle. So unfair!

August 25, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterTara

This last one is actually a "mona" that is given to children (usually your godchild) at Easter in Spain. They are pure chocolate designs. Here is a youtube from bakery there with some of their "monas" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GZZ78OaGY3w&feature=related. They are usually kind of strange, but I must admit, this is a "mona"-wreck for sure.

If you have any "mona" question, just let me know.

Sherri
Austin, TX

August 25, 2009 | Unregistered Commentersherri

i don't see rugrats, but i do see some pokemon characters!

-quinn

August 25, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

That first one...no words. Wrong on so many levels.

August 25, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterVicki

I honestly cannot even comprehend what some people are thinking. They do know this supposed to be food, right? To be eaten? Unless it's me. I may be out of the loop. Is throwing up before having cake the new it diet these days?

August 25, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterStrange Mamma

I wasn't sure what was wrong with the 13th Birthday cake, I totally remember being 13 and begging parents for "My own phone line". Which we finally did get when we needed another line to dial up into this new thing called the world wide web. Anyone want to meet me in a chat room? AOL keyword - wreckage.

August 25, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterCharity Charity Ichiban!

*opens mouth to comment*

*shuts mouth*

August 25, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterFluffy Cow

Thanks for the laughs, Jen! Unbelievable! Love the "Big Woop" cake...

Melinda

August 25, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMelinda

Hilarious! The grenade is next to the coconut tree. Duh....

August 25, 2009 | Unregistered Commentermor-mor

I actually think the spaced-out figures on the alien 'Unique Females' cake look quite cute! I can see replica staring-eye girls being whipped up by Wreck fans before long... ;)

August 25, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterRachel Emilie

The "Big Woop" cake cracked me up. I just love the irony...
The "alien" figures are also quite hilarious. XD

August 25, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterStephanie

I think the doll on the first one is singing "My Milkshake".....

August 25, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJudy

Doesn't too-cool-for-school-teen-girl have someone she should be texting?

Angie (from over at www.HalfAssedKitchen.com)

August 25, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterHalf Assed Kitchen

Take away the creepy zombie eyes and those molded figures are really pretty nice.

The last cake was just awesomely wreckful though! Sometimes I get Moms that want their kids to have A LOT of say in their cakes. Many kids have asked for cakes very similar to this. It's our jobs as bakers to wrangle the mess of "I want my soccer team playing against peeps while Pokemon and Rugrats characters cheer us on!" and whittle it down into a more focused cake design. Or not!

-Jenniffer
http://cupadeecakes.blogspot.com

WV: skyll - It takes a lot of skyll to mix several different characters together into one cohesive cake!

August 25, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJenniffer

I just LOVE the use of color on the second cake! I mean, white, yellow, brown and black? Very eye-catching. ;)

And I'm sorry but that fourth cake is making me wonder what those girls might be sitting on...

August 25, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJustine

definately inventive pieces here. i think they are speaking to the kitcsh loving folk.

though the brunette figure is pretty, I like her hair, she needs some eyelids and crack free pupils though

August 25, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLittle Lovables

Help me out here--does the telephone girl have a turkey leg in her left hand?

August 25, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnnimal

Isn't that Rocky from the old Cher movie "Mask" at the back of the Desert of Doom soccer cake?

August 25, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Why does the first cake look like her dress is parting to reveal a gargantuan pink penis? Or am I the only one who sees this?

August 25, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBill's Bayou

WOW! that barbie one, is so, i don't know.
i don't under stand the barbie head on a cake thing!

August 25, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLucille Ball Jr.

The first cake, if done to scale, would have the doll's legs stop halfway down her dres...wait a minute, does that mean the birthday girl gets a real wicked cool hove-hoop skirt for her birthday? Awesome (says the eighties girl into her corded phone.)

August 25, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterfrigglesnitz

Wait a minute...one of those "Rugrats" is Misty from Pokemon! They're crossing the beams, man! Crossing! The! Beams!

August 25, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

You have to admit in the corded phone cake that the foreshortening, perspective and proportions are pretty much dead on. Which is "SO TOTALLY AWESOME!!"

On that last cake or whatever it is, I would say it looked like they grabbed some last minute decorations out of their fish tank. Umm...eww.

August 25, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterPersnickety Ticker

The second one looks like 80s/early 90s Tampax adverts (except perhaps without the dog).

In fact, maybe she's phoning animal control about the dog? She does seem to be looking in its direction with a slightly concerned expression.

August 25, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterHelen Highwater

Hilarious. The poor figure-models look like one is doing yoga (in a hypnotized state) and the other is freezing to death and just joining her friend, while also under hypnosis.

August 25, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterEtiquette Bitch

The doll cake looks like a drunken stripper climbing out of a giant... cake.

Hmmm...

Well maybe it's for a gag cake for a bachelor party? "Hey dude! Yeah, we totally got you a stripper, (snickering)".

August 25, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJedi Knight Ivyan

I love the fact that the girl on the telephone cake is munching down on Turkey legs and other various picnics while talking on her princess phone.

August 25, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDreamer

The first thing I thought of when I saw the last cake was one of those ancient ball courts in Central America http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mesoamerican_ballgame (okay, maybe my brain is a bit esoteric). Come on, does any other explanation make more sense to explain that "design"? Anyway, apparently those games sometime involved human sacrifice, so the cake has that going for it too.

August 25, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Holy cow that last one has very 'modern' Pokemon people figures too. Of course not important ones just leftover sidekicks and definitely NOT any Pokemon.

August 25, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLaura

Looking at the first cake, do people not have any pride AT ALL in what they do? That is insane.

August 25, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

i think the "grenade" is an Easter egg...

August 25, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterlellums

Is that a black dial phone she's using? I think Grandma had one of those.

---Blue Jean

August 25, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Been lurking a while without commenting, but have to say I actually really quite like the creepy eyed alien doll cake! They have a sort of kitsch cuteness about them. I don't think it's a wreck at all... Does that make me a bad person?

August 25, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterko

Wreckorator #1: This doll just isn't tall enough, but I don't think I can stack anymore.

Wreckorator #2: Well, we've got this cake over here that isn't being used, what if we just stack it on top?

Wreckorator #1: Do the orange and pink match?

Wreckorator #2: Sure, both have a red base, right? Plus, they're both ruffley. They so go together.

(assemble, assemble)

Wreckorator #1: You were right dude, that's awesome!

Wreckorator #2: Yeah, I've got an eye for groovy. We'll be famous one day.

August 25, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterPerkinsClan

Has that princess cake been slowly melting??

As for the girl on the phone, it looks like a box from a sunday cartoon in the 1980s!!

August 25, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLisa

That last cake had me cracking UP! The randomness is endearing!

WV: "hypees" ~ the resultant recipients who consume cake #5.

August 25, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMandy

I think the creepy figure on the right looks just like Tori Spelling... does no one else see this?
As for the Barbie cake, I particularly love the color combo. Hot pink and lavendar on top (Bill's Bayou, I totally saw *it* once you said something) and UT orange and white + a mulititude of pastels on the bottom. Brilliant.

August 25, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterCuteCakeName

The two-women cake look like it took some skill, actually. Yes they have laser eyes, but the Farrah hair is pretty good!

August 25, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLauren

If only they could put the "human women" on the 'Big Whoop' cake, I would be oh so pleased.

August 25, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterR.

That third one makes me think the wreckerator has watched too much nickalodian

August 25, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterVeggieT

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