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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Tuesday
Jul282009

Reality Bit

NOTE: This post was written several days ago, and was not intended to be a commentary on any breaking news events. My sincere apologies to any who may find it offensive.

Cake artists, can we talk? I feel like we need to have a little heart-to-heart.

Ok, here's the deal: I know that you guys are talented - I do! - and I get that you like to showcase your talent with the cakes you make.

The only problem is, when you make something like this:

Photo removed at baker's request

 

Well, no one wants to eat it.


Not to mention it's depressing; could that look any more funereal?

 

Look at it from the cake consumer's perspective: would you want to slice into a sleeping baby?

 

"I call butt!"

 

 

Or worse, have a toddler's eyeball staring up at you from your plate?

 

Yeah, I didn't think so.

So cake sculptors, please, stop making us choose between cake deprivation and feeling like a cannibal. If you must make a baby cake, make it nice and cartoony - preferably with no basis in reality whatsoever.

You know, like this:

 

Three arms, a gravity defying diaper, and crazy sunglasses? Yep, I'd eat that.

 

 

Heather S., Steven K., Michelle G., & Liz J., does that kid really have a 3rd arm sprouting from his chest? Why...I think he does. Pass the milk!

 

Update: Tons of you are saying that's a butt crack, not an arm. (The rest claim it's Epcot.) I can almost see that, but I still think it looks more like an arm. ;)

- Related Wreckage: You Say Goodbye, and I Say Hello

 

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Reader Comments (296)

I read this blog instead of the news so I really had no idea what all the hubub was about. I guess I'd rather be grossed out than depressed?

July 29, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterCorrieCate

Oh my God, people. 250 comments later, I think we get that the third arm was intended to be the baby's butt!

July 29, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I live in Pittsburgh and it was covered on our local news more than once. I did see it briefly on cnn.com and so it never occurred to me that people everywhere wouldn't have heard about it.

I wasn't really "offended" by it, just had a hard time laughing at it and it would probably gotten a better response from everyone if it had been posted a different day. I read Cake Wrecks every day and it's usually eye-tearingly funny, but the unfortunate timing of this made that post the complete opposite of funny.

July 29, 2009 | Unregistered Commenteregan

I googled "Texas Baby News" upon seeing the disclaimer yesterday and the news story wasn't even the first thing to come up, nor was it reported here in my part of PA in any papers, nor did I see it on yahoo or CNN. (I also have no clue what the polo horse incident that's being mentioned is about... off to google that one too!)

And then I saw it, felt sad, and moved on with my life. And laughed at some baby butt crack.

July 29, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterHannah the Fish

Jen, if that last baby has three arms, then the third arm is playing with the contents of his diaper.

I'm not saying babies don't do this; they do. I'm just saying it's an inappropriate theme for a cake.

July 29, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterchelsea

Throwing my support behind Jen here; after I read the post I went immediately to CNN and my local (Maryland/DC burbs) news outlets and couldn't find ANYTHING to which she might be referring. So clearly, not everyone knew about this right away.

Also- Reporter!Jen- Journalistic integrity? "something THIS inflammatory?" No offense to CakeWrecks!Jen, but this is not exactly the New York Times. It is a blog, and if everyone on the internet took down their blog posts because someone might be offended, then there would be no internet. Also... it's CAKE. Cake is not inflammatory unless you are allergic to gluten. Chill.

July 29, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterThe Saucy Saucier

oh, that is so, so, so freaky weird. ack!!! i wonder if it's red velvet cake??

July 29, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterlyndsay

This one time, Harry Potter was riding a Polo Horse in Epcot, and I was very offended....

July 29, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLaura

Hmmmmm... I think I will have to order one of these the next time I get pestered about having kids. "Isn't your new grandbaby just cute enough to eat?!"

July 29, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

pretty much guessing no one reads the comments before they go ahead on their merry way...
i personally see spaceship earth

July 29, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKristin

I'm an atheist, and even *I* don't want to eat those babies!

July 29, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJoe

It's an optical illusion!! I could not see where people were seeing three arms until my daughter showed me. Now when I look at it I see the random extra arm sticking out of the baby's chest. This is hilarious!

July 29, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterlorileelott

I am profoundly disturbed by this post. Being pregnant and just hearing the story of the woman that actually ATE her baby...bleh! Too much for me to handle right now

July 29, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

LOL @ Laura! Jen, girl, you just keep on keeping on, and don't worry about silly people with their panties in a wad. You are freakin' hilarious, and I love EVERY SINGLE POST you publish.

July 30, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBecky

I hope that cake decorators are re-thinking their idea of making realistic baby cakes after the incident with the Texas woman decapitating her child and proceeding to cannibalize it. No joke - google it.

July 30, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterColleen

I saw three arms - but as soon as I saw the word "butt crack" typed, the picture transformed and I could no longer see the third arm. If you squint your eyes and crook your head slightly, you can make it switch back and forth between arm and butt crack, a bit like those magic eye thingys.

July 30, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLora

seems the last decorator literally did not know their a$$ from their elbow.

July 30, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterCarolyn J

I'm definitely not one to jump on the whole politically-correct "don't offend anyone ever" bandwagon.. But Jen and John are the ones who set the precedent of removing posts which occur at the same time as tragic news stories, so I don't think the people asking about it are being unreasonable at all.

There's just no logic in removing a post about dead horses when a bunch of racehorses drop dead and NOT removing a post talking extensively about eating babies when it has actually happened.

As you say, John, maybe "any other day I would not have been offended," but the same is true for the horse post, too. On a MUCH lesser scale. And you removed it anyway.

I don't think it's callous of you necessarily to leave this post up.. But I think it's callous to outwardly display respect/decorum in the horse situation than in this one.

You don't have to post this comment if you'd rather not.. I'm a loyal reader and will continue to be one. I love this blog and your guys' humor. I just think you've dropped the ball here.

July 30, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

For the record, I never said I was offended, suggested Jenn take the post down or asked for warning labels on this blog. I did say that I WISHED the world were set up with sad baby labels so you're not watching a perfectly fine movie and then all of a sudden sobbing hysterically. Clearly, the world is not. I know that since I live in it. I was just sharing my reactions to the day's post, just as everyone else does each day.

July 30, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterI Love Baby Quilts!

Who would take a knife to that adorable baby in blue? That is what I would like to know. Creepy.

July 30, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterjeri

if it's a butt it's all twisted & disproportionate & that arm has no shoulder- but am I the only one that sees a cigarette dangling from the baby's chest-arm?

July 30, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Okay, I finally googled up an image of the "Coppertone Girl" and yes, it's obvious that is what the wreckinators were shooting for. Looking backwards, finger by the mouth, drooping drawers, the whole bit. Just very, very wreckily done. (Serious optical illusion thing going on, it's a arm, no it's a buttcrack, no wait-it's an arm. Absolutely dizzifying!)

Below-link for image of the Coppertone Girl:

http://images.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://slog.thestranger.com/files/2007/05/Coppertone_girl.jpg&imgrefurl=http://slog.thestranger.com/files/2007/05/Coppertone_girl&usg=__GDLJjwuMLnWnvPzF-RMbkonz5N0=&h=401&w=300&sz=17&hl=en&start=1&sig2=akM24aIonB1YO677_gxdfg&um=1&tbnid=r5RFEhyWzuE58M:&tbnh=124&tbnw=93&prev=/images%3Fq%3Dcoppertone%2Bgirl%26hl%3Den%26rlz%3D1T4SUNA_enUS289US290%26sa%3DN%26um%3D1&ei=ZpVySvPBK8uwmQfQxfjlCg

July 31, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterladykay

Hmm . . . I live in Texas and hadn't heard anything about this until today. The cakes, are still funny. Never understood why the horse post was pulled, either, for that matter. Love your blog!

July 31, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterNick

Have you ever been to Powell's Books in Portland, OR? It's amazing...can't wait to meet you!

July 31, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLindberg

Okay, seriously, We all know its supposed to be a butt crack, we dont need 40, 000 people to repete it. Oh, and By the way...What breaking news event

August 1, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterRikki

I totally saw three arms!

August 1, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterRaine

Funny that i totally saw a butt crack and had no idea where your third arm was. Yet you can not see the butt crack? All in the perception isnt it.

August 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDana

It is without a doubt a butt crack. In Asia having figurines/shirts/cakes of naked babies is considered "cute," especially if it's showing the babies' butts... or babies peeing. I received many a naked baby item while teaching in China.

August 12, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

uhm....I don't want to make anyone mad...but there is a sort of "warning" if you use blogger...one you can read the first line or two in the description before you click on...and the first picture in the post is posted beside said description.
So while I understand that people were "caught off guard" by the realism of the first cake...that was the point of the post. To say this is a wreck, as in not good, don't ever do it again.

August 12, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterChrista

omg just read saucy saucier's comment...I almost peed. Cake isn't inflammatory unles you're allergic to gluten....hahahahahaha

August 12, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterChrista

I call the toes and head.

that's what I think about this whole b.s. fiasco

(and I totally saw 3 arms, too.)

OK, we seem to have consensus that the 2 appendages on top of the "creature" are arms, and to the bottom right is the butt crack. Enlighten me please as to what is going on below the diaper. Is the kid standing up while looking askance or is he (I assume it's a he) laying on his side?

August 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterCakeWreckConnissuer

Swirly little brown things = Baby Cakes!

August 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterCakeWreckConnissuer

@ kate thank you!

Surfing the internet and findly two vaguley related posts and complaining about it is stupid.

not everyone runs all the pages of the internet, and not everyone knows about what's going on in a state they may not live in.

Come on, people. Be smart about things. Yes, my gods, that's a horrendous story that I could've gone my whole life without hearing about and now I know about because some crazy person decided to bring it up on one of my favorite sites.

Just another example of the total freedom of information, and how only the user (you) can really find relationships where there are none.

ugh, baby cakes, baby cake makers are bad enough. Just ugh.

Thanks, internet (and humanity) for being horrible.
love,
me.

August 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterCerrasponda

So, I just discovered this site today after a wonderful friend told me about it. I'm so stoked I found this because it's awesome! On a side note, I should say this, I'm from Texas and I hadn't heard about this incident til now. That either says something about me or my distaste for trashy local news-it'll rot your brain! Secondly, babies die in horrendous ways every day. The cynic in me is sure of it. This one in particular just happened to be picked up by local news. Can you even begin to fathom how many horrible occurrences there are in Africa or the Middle East every day? I may sound insensitve, but babies die every day. People die every day. Does that mean a post about baby cakes should be pulled? No. Keep on wreckin.

August 24, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Baby got Back!

August 27, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBitch McMean

This is why, I am so adamant about staying away from reality based video games. I don't want to have the image of killing some poor guy, or shooting random people, or wait..really I can't think of any realistic video game that isn't filled with mindless violence. Is it that I'm ignorant as a Nintendo fangirl, or what?

Yeah, it's way too creepy to cut into a baby cake. Have these cake makers not seen Tom Petty & the Heartbreaker's video for Don't Come Around Here no More with the Alice cake representing cannibalizing Alice?

October 3, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterVioletYoshi

that really is a butt crack (and no, the butt is not on the side of its body). the baby's butt is supposed to be facing out (at the same time that its face is. child of a contortionist maybe?) think "Coppertone Baby", but a bit more contorted.

October 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

hes turning to the side. the diaper is falling off... but whats with the sunglasses?

August 27, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKoyuki

red velvet?

September 18, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMegan

these people actually have talent...they just dont jnow how to use it...properly! Direction it defo needed. ;) xx

October 13, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCupcakes Lady

This is why I'm glad I don't remeber my third B-day cake. My mom put on an edible photo of my and my dog, Gidget. She is still alive(both my dog, and my mom, this was only 10 years ago!!!), and will be 11 in June of 2011. :D
-B

January 20, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Check out the schnaz on the sleeping baby cake! The beak is obviously proportioned to match the size of the butt.

As for the three arm debate, I admit I thought the kid was putting one arm down the back of his diaper (a very familiar sight to us mommies and not one to instill an appetite in anyone) until I saw the free floating arm that seemed to protrude from the middle of his chest. Then I adjusted my eyes and saw that it was indeed a butt.

June 29, 2011 | Unregistered Commenternyxpooka

First two questions, maybe, and why not.

Where is the problem with this? We'll eat anything else in cake form fast enough!

July 24, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Let's just eat that baby! Gives a new meaning on eating your young.....lol

May 5, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterlinda

Every cake I've ever made was asked and paid for by the customer so it's not the cake artist it's the individual. People are sick sometimes and if poop coming out of the butt is what they want, they get, but I would eat it.

March 2, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterCWC

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