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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Wednesday
Dec092009

Santa Shockers

What, the angry Santas on Monday didn't scare your kids straight? Ok, new game plan: we'll show them how disappointed the big guy is when they shove Crayons up little Austin's nose.

"They did what?!?"

That's right, children: kids who misbehave turn Santa's smile upside down.

Kind of like Wreckerators.
(Although Wreckerators do it more literally.)

In fact, boys and girls, your naughty antics could cause dear Old Saint Nick's mascara to run:

And do you really want to be responsible for that? Huh? Do you?

Here's another reaction you don't want from Santa come gift-giving time:

And you thought no one knew about the hamster incident.

So to sum up, remember, kids: Santa works on the reward system. Minor offenses = mild dismay:


Whereas major offenses, on the other hand...

[wincing] Oooh, not good.

Yes, Santa's cadaverous pallor betrays an aura of foreboding:

you are SO not getting another flame thrower this year.

Careful now, Perry, Lacey M., Ray D., Heather I., Tara B., & Erica L.; I hear wallpaper is flammable. Not that I would know, of course; that's just what I hear.

- Related Wreckage: Totally Cheating

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Reader Comments (113)

...almost as though you sense a disquieting metamorphosis. Is this haunted room actually stretching?

No better way to start the day and the seriously scary santa wrecks and some "hidden" disney quotes. :)

December 9, 2009 | Unregistered Commenter*Michelle

Looks like santa with the upside down mustache is feeling a bit under the weather...

Why on earth is he green??

December 9, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterkelly dwyer

The last one says to me:
"Dear...God! What have you DONE!?"

That's hilarious.

December 9, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJeremy

Love the Haunted Mansion reference! :) Although I do not want any sense of a disquieting metamorphosis with these cakes. Santa is already creepy, can they make it worse?!

December 9, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJessica W

Merry ? Christmas ?

The second to last one is cute! he looks like a veggie tales character

December 9, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Maybe Santa's grim outlook has something to do with the tragedy that has befallen poor Rudolph, as seen yesterday. It didn't do much for me, either, come to think of it. Ick!

December 9, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

What the hell is wrong with the person that made the green cupcake Santa face? WHY would you do that? WHY?!!!!???!?! I am never eating anything green again. Ever.

December 9, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJust Me,Pilgrim

Orange Santa is actually kind of cute. He looks like he spent too much time in the sun and is worried about getting a burn. Sunscreen Santa, sunscreen!

December 9, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBree

Don't be silly, that last Santa is simply your "Other Santa." and the mice warned you not to go through that door

December 9, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterVeggieT

I guess the holidays really do start at Halloween now. Or, if you made any of these cakes, they seem to have ended there as well.

Those last two are kind of Reddi-wip meets pumpkin and ghost leftovers.

wv: gnomish-- the second cake has Santa sort of looking gnomish. Or is it actually looking ahead a few months at leprechauns?
Goblins, maybe? Wait--elves! Huh.

December 9, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

The second one is *obviously* supposed to be the Grinch right after he hears the Whos singing even though they have no presents or roast beast - just the moment he begins to feel guilty enough to take back all the loot.

I think perhaps this Grinch is radioactive, though....

-AH

December 9, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I feel like I have seen the second and third cakes on this site before, or at least very similar wrecks. Anyway, very funny/frightening post!

December 9, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAlia

Awesome haunted mansion reference! (Love this site.)

December 9, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterEmmy

Emo Santa (3rd pic) has been watching too much Twilight.

December 9, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterThe Black Dog

Why do they always put the moustache upside down?!?!

On another note, I see Santa's still hitting the Spice.

December 9, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterksaldria

I actually turned my laptop upside down so I could see what the green guy's mouth was supposed to look like. Thank you, portable technology!

December 9, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterHollee

I see they've found a use for that dandy orange frosting left over from Halloween.

Or is that an old pumpkin-shaped cake???

December 9, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSeverina

I so wish my daughter was a little older and would get that. She was just so excited to see santa in cake...missed the point there. Oh well, she' three!

December 9, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterlisa

Number Two:

You're a mean one, Mr. Grinch.
You really are a heel.
You're as cuddly as a cactus,
You're as charming as an eel.
Mr. Grinch.

...

The three words that best describe you,
are, and I quote: "Stink. Stank. Stunk."

Copyright © 1957, Dr. Seuss.

December 9, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterWriteCards

@Heather

"It's obviously put on right b/c of the nose. So, under what circumstances would that have been an appropriate face to use? I'm very confused by that particular set of plastic bits."

The "bottom" part is the nose. The part that the the Wreckerators are using as a nose is actually an open mouth.

WV: ingned: a new name that's a mix of Ingrid and Ned. "Ingned would be apalled by these cakes."

December 9, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterpurplewowies

Cake #2 is proof that grocery store decorators do not check up on Cake Wrecks. Maybe they are afraid they will find one of there cakes on this site.

December 9, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I'm kind of disturbed that they re-purposed a Valentine's day heart pan for #4. It makes it seem like they had the cake lying around since last Feb, and they *just* found a use for it...

December 9, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterEric

Oh Santa cakes. How you make me smile when you frown.

December 9, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterfeathergirl

Why do I think that the first cake is Three Mile Island meets the North Pole? Maybe Santa met with a small nuclear accident when his sleigh flew too close?

Hmmm...that might plausibly explain the Poo-Dolph cake, too.

Thanks for your excellent efforts, Jen & John.

December 9, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterGracie

Have I lost my mind or has the European wedding thing gone bye-bye again? :( Sad... oh well

December 9, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterWildroses

Maybe the bug-eyed Santas have been goosed by a reindeer antler. The third cake looks as though Santa has had a stroke - face isn't quite right.

December 9, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKim

the number of Disney references that make it into your posts just make my heart smile..

December 9, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterStreetShutter

I kind of feel bad for that last one. Poor guy.

December 9, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterNic

I luff this blog. Lemme tell ya. Whenever I need a smile I know where to turn. Still working on reading all the blogs though. I finally made it to 2008! lol Great site! Keep it up!

Oh and I really appreciate the shout out to the Haunted Mansion. My fav Disney ride EVER! :)

December 9, 2009 | Unregistered Commentertsherlin

The last one totally made me think of Mr. Skullhead from Animaniacs.

December 9, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLinz

Is that second cake not a mix of Santa and the Grinch? I think so. I really do.

And while I am making a comment; thank you for a wonderful site/blog. :)

~Malin

December 9, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterInkadog

I am now having nightmares of invisible santa standing in a dark corner with that plasticine glare being the only thing I can see...lol.

Somebody must have had some leftover St. Patty's Day icing to use up...and OH THE HUMANITY-on a CCC!!!!

So much for the "right jolly old elf". Who knew Santa had such a range of emotion? Shock, dismay and horror- he covers it all.

December 9, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterknitorpurl

The green cake is pretty orderly for a CCC. Still came out looking seriously misguided, though.

December 9, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Santa is appetizing when he's angry. Nice artistic cakes, perfect for the kids on Christmas Eve.

December 10, 2009 | Unregistered Commentercustomized keychains

I love the reference to Haunted Mansion today, it just added to an already hilarious post :)

- Krystal

December 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSam's Mommy

...almost as if you sense a disquieting metamorphosis. Is this haunted Santa actually stretching? Or is it your imagination?

Those are just creepy. Wow.

December 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAshley

Just to say something positive, at least someone learned to give Santa normal eyes. That's all I've got.

December 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterPeachkins

To go with your theme a quote from the west coast (i.e. original) Haunted Mansion

And that last Santa cake

"...chilling challenge, to find...A WAY OUT! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

(That's right. I spelled out a maniacal laugh.)

And the green cupcakes... wth!!??

December 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMichelle

Creepy! They remind me of the scary Santa episode of Futurama & the 'Santa Claus is coming to town' song from it:

"He Knows When You Are Sleeping,

He Knows When You're On The Can,

He'll Hunt You Down And Blast Your Ass
from Here To Pakistan

You Better Not Breathe,
You Better Not Move,

You're Better Off Dead I'm Telling You Dude

Santa Claus Is Gunning You Down."

December 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

The green one is actually the Grinch dressed as Santa!

Amy B-H

December 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAmy

What is the Haunted Mansion reference everyone's referring to??

Also, scary as they all are (readioactive CCC frowning Santa--WTF? and spraytan Easter egg Santa? and death mask santa with a squirt of rouge?)

I think sad santa is so cute! doesn't look like Santa, but maybe a pouty little elf. The pink cheeks! The cottonball beard! kinda sweet.

now the upside-down heart Santa with star tip facial features and a wild butt shaped beard-ugh. But I think you're all mistaken--I don't think that's a heart cake. I think it's a heart COOKIE. And it makes Santa look a little pock-marked like he had a bad case of chicken pox as a kid.

wv: vismop--What you need to clear (or mop) the visions of these bad cakes from your memory.

December 10, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterjoanne

I'm debating which is scarier: the green one or the last one. I'm thinking the last one - it looks like something out of some bad horror movie.

December 10, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterblueiguana

My 11yo said the green cupcake cake was supposed to be the Grinch...

December 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterGinger

The green one looks like the banana king from Charlie the Unicorn

December 10, 2009 | Unregistered Commentermandy_Reeves

Santa's looking a little nauseated by all the naughty children! Poor guy! No wonder he's frowning.

December 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterCalamity Wren

I wonder if that upside-down-mouth Santa was from the same decorator who did http://cakewrecks.blogspot.com/2008/12/totally-cheating.html" rel="nofollow">the same thing last year?

December 10, 2009 | Unregistered Commentercodeman38

This december 9 2009 green/grinch cupcake santa face is so reminescent of the december 22 2008 fiasco. A year later and the plastic cheater-bakers have still not learned their lesson!

December 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I am going to be very immature and say HAUNTED MANSION REFERENCE FOR THE WIN! You have made my day.

:D

December 11, 2009 | Unregistered Commenter12 hour pills

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