Wasted Cakes
January 1, 2009 If there's one thing I've learned from this blog, it's that there's a cake for everything. Vasectomies, divorces, fecal triumphs - bakeries come through where even Hallmark is left speechless. So for those of you reading this through squinted, blood-shot eyes, nursing a killer migraine, and wondering if God was actually paying attention to your 4AM porcelain-throne confessional this morning: cheer up; there's a cake for that.
Binky here is part of the new "scare 'em sober" line of cake kits. Nothing says "drink in moderation" quite like a deceased flattened clown with charred lumps for feet, right? "And that's why it's important to remember "stop, drop and roll" when doing flaming shots, boys and girls!"
Look familiar? I hope not; anyone who keeps a big mass of string cheese in their bathroom has serious hygiene issues. I'm glad the guy is labeled a "Party Animal", though: otherwise you might think this was celebrating the flu or food poisoning.
(Bonus Side Tangent Competition: Who can be the first to find me an actual cake celebrating the flu or food poisoning? C'mon; you know they're out there!)
And then there's Charlie, who shows us once and for all that you're never too old to party:
Charlie apparently likes to rock the Casbah with a couple of redskin potatoes shoved down the back of his pants. He also has a gargantuan toilet with a joystick on the seat, which he doesn't like to talk about.
[whispers] Shhh. He's sleeping. That pink shag rug and the smell of 2000 Flushes gets him every time. Aren't they just the cutest when they're dreaming?
(Yes, it's "professional". What, don't you trust me?)
Well, Happy New Year, everyone! Here's to a Wrecktastic 2009.
Thanks to Sarah N., and Stefani H.!
Reader Comments (64)
those are freaking awesome! Someone who does that (been there done that) deserves a cake like that!!!!! That ball of "string" worries me some. WTF is that? Isn't that "joystick" the plunger? Ewwwww
Anonymous, I too thought it was a brown towel covered in vomit. Ew. On a cake.
Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear....the blue water in that ginormous toilet is the funniest part to me..."rocked the Casbah with a couple of redskin potatoes crammed down your pants"? HILARIOUS...
(sigh) my day doesn't begin until I've seen some wreckiness...
Happy New Year everyone!
~Bonnie B~
That is so funny and so unappetizing at the same time!
thanks for another laugh-til-I-cry posting!!! even the comments on your blog are funny! My day is better for stopping by the cake wrecks blog!
The giant toilet's shag carpet is freaking me out. Plus it looks like the "sleeping guy" is biting the toilet seat. Gross!
Wow. I think the old guy's "joystick" must be a pipe. Or a brown butt blug. I enjoy his little angry red butt crack peeking out.
Uh. On the "21st birthday" clown cake..
WHAT is behind the 21 candles? Scary!
The guy depicted on the last cake looks like Bill Clinton!
I wish someone could teach me how to make that cake with a red ribbon.. it looks funny.. at least the toilet is dandy clean..
hahahahaha..
Happy New Year!!!
Charlie and his potatoes remind me of my dad's favorite joke, the one with the punchline that you were supposed to put the potato down the FRONT of your Speedos.
UGH!!! I hated those stupid clown head toppers!! Those were FREAKY!?!
I agree that the third cake is probably for a plumber. He's examining the toilet rather than puking into it.
That last cake is plumber! The brown "joystick" is a toilet plunger, and the potatoes are a plumber's crack....