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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Monday
Sep222008

Why We Need More Male Cake Decorators


Apparently this is supposed to look like a baseball field. For those of you who don't see a problem with it, do like I did and go ask your husband. (Or if you're at work, that annoying guy a few cubicles over who starts every conversation with "Dude, did you see the game last night?".)

Of course, if baseball fields were laid out this way, I bet the sport would be a lot more interesting. You know, in a Funniest-Home-Videos kind of way.

Further evidence of female involvement: that lace doily under the cake. I'm pretty sure no guy would feel the urge to "pretty up" the cake board - or for that matter, add an airbrushed red stripe on the side. What's that for, anyway?

MaryAnn C., I would say this is a home run, but on this cake you just can't do that. (The home run, that is.)

NOTE: Yeah, yeah, I know not all women are clueless about sports, just like I know there are probably guys out there who wouldn't know a baseball field isn't laid out in a giant 'X'. I simply choose not to acknowledge those people.

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Reader Comments (139)

This is great, if you're playin' baseball for Jesus.

Actually, anonymous, I was thinking pirates.

September 22, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterKitten

If you build it, they will blog.

September 22, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterthisbagisnotatoy

That's ridiculous. Everyone knows what a baseball field looks like.

September 22, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterBecky

http://www.fotosearch.com/BDX226/bxp39715/" REL="nofollow">Oh ye of little faith...

September 22, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterSarah

Actually, this new baseball field setup might be more fun than the normal one. I mean, how awesome is it to run headfirst into the other players and end up with a concussion?

September 22, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterjanet

It's called a baseball DIAMOND for a reason. A three-year-old can identify the shape of a diamond, therefore, we can only assume this decorator has the mental capacity less than this.

September 22, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterSouthernSibyll@yahoo.com

...and if you build it wrong, they will come and laugh at you.

September 22, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterundertheradar76@yahoo.com

Har! Now, see, I was thinking it was a mini-golf green, but couldn't figure out what the center part was for.

September 22, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterOmegaMom

When you order a cake, even if its something simple that everyone should get, perhaps you should include a photo to clue in the decorator. Oh and that flag in the background is not the Braves, it's the Cleveland Indians http://cleveland.indians.mlb.com/index.jsp?c_id=cle

September 22, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterDarth Rob

Definitely a failed baseball diamond. My first thought was golf, until I saw Chief Wahoo off to the side. Sweet Jesus, this is painful to look at.

The only sports I like are basball and cricket, so I really appreciate the utter failure in this cake.

September 22, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterTwinkie

My first thought: It's Hungry Hungry Hippos... without the hippos!

Second thought: heliport.

Third: mini golf? Well-manicured airport hub? Street scene with Matchbox cars removed?

Never, ever would it have occurred to me that this was meant to be a baseball field.

PS My "captcha" is "lafnf", which seems appropriate.

September 22, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterNeb

My initial thought was, "oh! someone was trying to make a cute mini-golf cake!" Then I stared at it trying to figure out why there were 4 starting points all going to the same spot... Then, you know my next thought? honestly? "The edges make it look like the Care of Magical Creatures book from Harry Potter" - complete with teeth and red gums! :O)

September 22, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterLibba Roberts

@sarah - yes, but that at least is four baseball diamonds, not one with bizarre lines drawn through it.

Re: the possibility of it being a cricket pitch, I think the Yankees' logo on whatever base that is at the top sort of negates that notion.

So sad for the (presumably) little boy whose cake this (probably) is.

September 22, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterOphelia

wow...that is a LOT of green to eat on that cake.
<;D

September 22, 2008 | Unregistered Commenter~Jenn Danza~

not gonna lie..i had to ask my boyfriend what was wrong with the baseball field.

after i stared at it for a WHILE.

September 22, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAngela

What, it's not a crop circle? lol

September 22, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterTerri

Okay, I’m gonna get a little nit-picky here (since Field of Dreams is one of my favourite movies, and Shoeless Joe is one of my favourite books). The actually line is "If you build it, he will come.", not "they will come" (it's in reference to one person: Joe Jackson). It was appropriated for advertisement after the movie came out, and now everyone says "they".

This cake makes me sad.

September 22, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterKaye

This is about as unlikely to be cricket as it is to be baseball. As someone with a knowledge of at least the vague basics of both I am irritated by the "Oh how could that even be baseball" comments that follow it up with "maybe it's cricket". Go google cricket pitches.

However it is a Terrible decorating job.

September 22, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

The sad thing is, not only did I immediately recognize this as a baseball field, but it took me about 10 seconds of concerted effort to see the problem with it.

September 22, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Say it with me people "Baseball DIAMOND". I can't stress that eenough - "DIAMOND". I too was also looking for little plastic baseball players so everybody could look at the cake & say "Ooooh, that's what it's supposed to be".

September 22, 2008 | Unregistered Commentertlca.admin@gmail.com

my bad.. Not "Sorry", I meant "Trouble"...

(its Monday)

September 22, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterBeckster

Diamond, they call it a diamond, gee what american hasn't heard the baseball diamond even if they've never seen one. Oh yeah, I am assuming an American did this cake..Well it could be a whole new craze, something like a crozz between baseball and Parchesi. The red stripe, hmmmm maybe all that grass is coveing up yet another wreck ... you know the wreck layer concept.

September 22, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterRiley

I think this is for the next Major League movie. You know, where Wolverine and Storm join the team.

September 22, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterTracy

(Blogger sues2u2 said...

Didn't this decorator take PE in school? I thought every PE class covered the basics of @ least softball.)

At my schools, they assumed that we already knew how to play everything. I was clueless, which resulted in the other players hating me.

As for the cake, I recognized it was baseball, but it took a minute for the mistake to reveal itself. It does look a bit overgrown, doesn't it?

September 22, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterorianna2000

"Oh no! We gave the decorator a photo of a crop circle by mistake! Oh well, they'll notice it's wrong... right?"

September 22, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Ok, in reference to Kaye..you are right about the 'he' vs. 'they' coming if you build it line in the movie...and I love that movie too...but I always thought that the 'he' they referenced was ultimately his father...since that's the one he wanted to 'have a catch with'.

Oh, and by the way, that cake is just beyond words.

September 22, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

BWAHAHAHAAA!!! Ok, I hate baseball (GASP!) and even *I* would know how the stinkin' baseball DIAMOND should look DOH! Yeah - um, sad.....very very sad....

September 22, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterDea

Sarah - where did you get that link??
http://www.fotosearch.com/BDX226/bxp39715/

What is going on in Wisconsin with baseball...I don't get it..??

September 22, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterBittersweet

Wow. While I'm female and now a huge sports fan, when I saw that I thought, "What the heck is that? Looks like it's some kind of field." When you said it's supposed to be a baseball field... wow. I have no words. Even if you've never seen one, wouldn't you at least try to get a reference picture? And wouldn't the phrase "baseball diamond" tip you off that it's diamond shaped?

September 22, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterLindsey

There's a New York Mets pennant in the mix, too. Perhaps this cake was meant for the playoffs last year.

My question is this - if it's four diamonds butted up together, how does the little gumpaste umpire figure out when a ball is in foul territory?

My guess on the red stripe is that it's meant to represent the stitches on the ball (though probably not the beads on a Catholic rosary).

Let's go Cubbies!

September 22, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterChristy

Okay, here's my theory.

Cake recipient is a pitcher. Cake decorator was his dear old mum or his wife, who would want him to feel like the center of the universe on his special day, which explains why the pitcher's mound is much bigger than everything else and why the bases and home plate all lead to the pitcher's mound.

Cuz he's the dude, nnkay?

September 22, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterSheri in Rehoboth

Maybe I'm just tired, but that baseball cake made me laugh until I cried! That is so funny! I want to see the game they play on THAT field!

Terri

September 22, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterTerri

What's sad is that I had to keep looking at it, thinking, OK....what's wrong with it? Finally figured it out. :)

September 22, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterSummer Rippe

I think there would be a lot of bloody noses if the game was played that way! Maybe that's the subtle purpose of the red?

September 22, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterRonnica

Cake Wrecks comes through again on a Monday morning

Kaye - isn't also in reference to the Kevin Costner's character's dad?

September 22, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterphillygirl64

Ummm...what is that line on the...err..."pitcher's mound?"

September 22, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterSara

The frosted lawn is fertilized with the blood of losing teams.

September 22, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Looks like a crop circle to me...

September 22, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

If this were an xbox, it actually doesn't look all that bad

September 22, 2008 | Unregistered Commenteramz

On top of the warped perception of a baseball diamond, why is the icing on the border so *drippy*?

September 22, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterJennifer Foster

At first I knew on some level what this decorator was trying to acheive. Then I just about died laughing. Images of little baseball players wearing eyepatches while trying to dig around in the infield looking for buried treasure at the X.

All it needs Captain Morgan with his foot on the chest on the pitcher's mound. Or at least a bottle of Captain Morgan to drown the sorrows of yet another cake wreck.

September 22, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterPersnickety Ticker

To the people who pointed out my mistake about what team it was -- sorry. I don't pay attention to individual pro teams.

September 22, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterKenya Starflight

Yeah but if you turn it slightly, it will be a diamond and not a square.
I am clueless about baseball other than knowing it's supposed to be a diamond.
Like I said, turn the cake!
Works for me!

September 22, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterangeljoy

I love your blog! I ran across it somehow, not even sure how, but I love it.

I have a blog of my own if you want to check it out.

As a hobbie, I enjoy cake decorating as well....

September 22, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterPink

I'm pretty sure the "drippy" border is supposed to be leaves. Perhaps it's meant to invoke the ivy-covered walls of Wrigley Field? Of course, that would imply that the decorator had seen a baseball field.

September 22, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterandie

I thought it was a beautiful alien landing strip!

September 22, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterZelmarific

My first thought was helipad.

Actually, that was my only thought...other than Mreh?

September 22, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterextrajoker

I'm a woman, and I KNOW what a baseball field looks like. It's not that hard to look up a picture for reference people....Jeez....

September 22, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAmy

Perhaps this is the sort of baseball played on a layer of blood.

September 22, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterL-L

Got a laugh out of it, but wasn't this already posted? I swore I saw it on my feed a few days ago.

September 22, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterRuth

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