My Youngest Wreckporter
September 23, 2008 "Now let's kick it over to our newest Wrecks correspondent Violet, who is currently on location at her sister Ruby's third birthday party. Violet?"
"Jen, I'm sitting here in witness to the worst Wreck I've seen in my admittedly young life. Take a look at the disaster area left behind by what could only be called a Disney Princess Explosion.
"As you can see, there is airbrushing, hearts, garland, blobbular "rosebuds", and green leaves growing UP the "waterfall" - not to mention the fact that you have to clear off all the toys before you can even cut the thing! And don't get me started on those three '3' candles - I may only be 10 months old, but even I know that math doesn't add up."
"Wow, Violet, isn't that kind of harsh? I mean, the colors are pretty."
"Pretty? Pretty?!? Obviously you aren't seeing the matching Princess plates, napkins, cups, giftwrap... Do you see this hat I'm wearing, Jen?"
"I think it's Tinkerbell."
"No, it's a representation of the blatant over-commercialization that is running rampant in our society, that's what it is. Would you like to hear my dissertation on the breaking down of social conventions by the media barons?"
"Oh, look at the time! Sorry Violet, but we need to wrap this up."
"No problem; time for my nap anyway. Hey, Mom! Guess who needs a fresh diaper? Eh? Hey, what is that? Oh heck no, I am NOT wearing a Princess themed diaper! No, absolutely not! You're making a mockery of my beliefs, woman! Get that away from me!"
"That was Violet, my youngest Wreckporter, folks!"
Cassie F. (aka Mom), don't worry; she'll love that hat by the time she turns 3.
Reader Comments (148)
I think the ice is melting in Walt Disney's cryo-chamber! He's trying to say something... "That was never MY vision!" he says. Poor guy, he never should have witnessed that. Luckily, he's thawed out just enough to spin. Eternally.
Kat
Too funny. She does looked very cheesed off!
In defense of the cake decorator (having once been one myself), I can tell you that's pretty darn close to what the kit instructions tell you to do. I can also tell you that I always despised having to put 8 lbs. of neon icing all over this cake. As for the rest of the "coordinating" partyware, that's Mom's fault for making it a Wrecktastic party.
LOL! That was awesome, I just about spit my waffle all over my computer! Violet's commentary was RIGHT ON!
Esther
Yeah, but I'll bet that Ruby is STILL talking about her awesome princess cake!!!!
oh! OH! that's so perfect!
a MOCKERY OF MY BELIEFS! :D
I pretty much pulled the same face as the baby when I saw the cake.
The baby's adorable, too ^^
SO funny!!!! The pic of Violet was better than the wreck!!!
Holy Princess Cake Batman! Violet has the cutest "stink eye" face I have ever seen. Your wit always brightens my day.
Bess
That's right! LOL
Good reporting Violet, you have a future as a reporter @ the Villiage Voice in New York!
Soooooo, Cute!!!!!!
Ha,ha,ha!
;)
It's just a case of too much of a good thing, jen. ;)
Peace,
Clueuin
http://wwwmrclueuinbrooklynrules.blogspot.com/
The look on her face is priceless, and even funnier when paired with your snarky quips!
A little over the top, true, but I know my three year old would have LOVED this cake. :-)
wow, my first time commenting and I'm number one :)
Great blog. Awesome pictures: they make me laugh all the time!
Violet's expression says it all. "I could burp up a better cake!"
It may be wrecktastic, but my 6 yr old twin daughters would freaking love that cake. lol
ohh I love that cake!
Garish hardly covers it. But, despite the need for sunglasses, I would probably have loved this cake when I was three, and that's who it was marketed for. So I'm not sure it's exactly a Wreck.
Wow what wrecktaculious reporting Violet. I'm in perfect agreement. What's with the THREE giant THREE candles anyway? I thought Ruby was THREE not 333. Yeah I get it Three Three's for Three.
No I don't really get it.
(PS pardon me but my comma key is broken.)
Is that baby letting her feelings show or what! Too cute. The colours on that cake is an overload of sweet. Ech.
~Amy B
My favorite part is how the princesses have all wet themselves in rainbow hues!
And that baby...she's got the perfect "what the %$*#" look!
Now really, at 333 years old you'd think she'd appreciate a bit more decorum than Disney Princesses.
Oh wait that's just gross misuse of candles.
I'm with Lis, it's over the top for me but to 3 year old girls that love princesses, this cake is perfect.
No, it's not elegant or beautiful but I don't think it's a "wreck". Still loved the commentary.
Ruby still talks about that cake (it was the BEST ever!) and the extra cheesey princess stuff was my way of giving in to the extra cheesey cake. (If you can't beat them, join them!)
And Violet's expression matched ours exactly. Everyone but Ruby had that look when we looked at the cake!
Two months later she chose "Snow White" as her halloween costume.
Cassie (aka MOM)
My new ruling: You either have the nunber candle, or you have enough traditional birthday candles to equal the age. Not both.
The only exception is the first birthday, when the number one candle may be used solo, which would also equal the age.
And, yeah, that does look like a three-year-old girl's ideal birthday cake. It's not elegant, by any means, but it's bright and colorful and has lots of pretty toys. Still seems a little over-the-top, and I bet the birthday girl would've been happy with just one princess.
I think what Violet is trying to tell us is that her diaper doesn't stink as much as that over the top cake does!
Ruby was probably almost 4 by the time they got all that stuff off the cake to just cut it!
Oh yes - that is hilarious!!!
Wow. I saw the exact same cake at Chuck-E-Cheese this weekend for a kid's birthday party. (I thought the waterfall was a big melty smear that hadn't been done right.) Dee is right on the money!
And I think Violet would be my best friend if she were a teeny bit older. I hate Disney princesses too 8)
Coffee coming out of my nose = painful! The look on Violet's face = priceless! Was I wrong to view this first thing in the morning? Probably. Do I regret it? Not on your life!!
As much as it sucks, birthday parties are about the kids and what they will like and NOT about the adult's sense of style.
Bummer.
Given some of the monstrosities that have graced these pages I'd say this is by far nothing in comparison.
Gawd, I made that cake so many times I could probably still make it in my sleep. It was the most popular girl's birthday cake in The Book at the time. And a PITA to boot.
Each princess stood in the center of an airbrushed circle, which I just now realized almost looks like they wet themselves and the color bled out of their dresses.
But girls love them some Disney princesses, you know....
Wow, way to teach kids about positive body image and size issues. If any of those princesses had those actual waist dimensions, they'd snap in half!
Ok, I'm sorry, but with the 3 "3" candles, all I can think of is the t-shirt that has 3 "3s" in a row stating below it, "I'm only half evil"....
http://www.whatonearthcatalog.com/graphics/products/regular/AT5702T.jpg
Are mom and dad stating something about poor Ruby?
That baby is appalled. Appalled.
Is there any actual cake under all that decoration? My favorite part of cake is the cake. Some of these offerings seem to forget this essential part.
-Nancy
the look. the look. it's priceless! what the ___ am i doin' here? children should never be exposed to that much icing. my favorite cake as a child, and remains to this day, was a yellow cake with chocolate icing with m&ms lovingly placed around the perimeter by my sweet momma. still request it.
OMG, someone give me an insulin shot...STAT
Yeah, I think my one grandniece, who just turned 7 would probably love it, but on the bright side, her older sister declared on Saturday that she loves camoflage
that baby looks so pissed off and grossed out.
It looks like an Americolor catalog threw up on that cake!
When I looked at this cake, the two ads in the sidebar were both for counter terrorism training. For some reason, I find that terribly funny. Perhaps gobs of neon icing and over-hyped cartoon characters can be used to repel suicide bombers???
Monique in TX
no no no, i got this same cake for my daughters third birthday 2 weeks or so ago and mine is even worse then hers.
heres a photo.
http://s73.photobucket.com/albums/i229/arae8419/?action=view¤t=2008_09070036.jpg
I was especially pleased (just kidding) with the way they scrunched the happy birthday message into such a tiny space.
thank god my daughter doesnt notice these things, but that cake was a $30.00 disappointment.
I love how the air brushing under each princess makes it look like the dresses are bleeding onto the cake.
They are one cutie babies.
www.foodista.com
I think my 15th birthday cake looked like that...except without all the rainbow icing and airbrushing.
My almost three year old would go BONKERS over that cake. As soon as she gets home from school I'm going to show her the picture and see what her reaction is. And we've done everything in our power to keep her away from the whole "Princess" thing. It's powerless to even try and fight it.
To the people saying that it looks like it should/not a wreck, please get your eyes checked.
http://www.decopac.com/detail_16358__1-1-1.html
Ditto to pretty much all of the other comments. LOL !! My daughter wanted a cake like that once. We compromised & I made a castle instead. Much less sugar!
This is priceless! I just started working at a grocery store with in-house bake shop. Last week, I think Friday night(9/19), the baker was showing off a cake to be picked up for Saturday.
It was this cake!
I took one look and wished I had a camera! It was wreck-a-licious!
I cannot believe it's here!
I think I have figured out why the three candles are psychadelic: you have to be either three years old or stoned out of your tiny mind to like this cake.
Luckily Ruby will grow up.
Violet's commentary was spot on and absolutely priceless. I look forward to her next guest appearance.
I hate to admit, but my daughter had the EXACT same cake for her 4th or 5th birthday. We live in a small town so i had to use the local grocery store. Ours maybe was not that bad but bad enough.
Shannon
I would have looooove to have received that cake at 3 years old.
I think the very young and the very old are completely entitled to have or wear obnoxiously loud and tacky items.