Friday
Jan152010
The #2 Way to Ruin a Cake
January 15, 2010 Step #1: Take a perfectly decent-looking cake
Step #2: Add random poo piles - just for giggles.
C'mon, everybody, sing it with me: "Chain chain chaaaaain! Chain of poos!!" Eh? What's that? You think those are simply palm tree poos? Ok, I guess I could see that. But, can you explain...[dramatic pause]...THIS?
?!?Actually, this isn't too much of a leap if you figure the customer asked for a "Princess and the Pea" cake. [wicked grin]
Then there are the stock designs with poo built right in:
Poor Wall-E. I bet right about now he's wishing the humans had stayed in space.
And to think: this is what "passes" for "cake decorating." But hey, maybe the designer was wiped out after a hard day logging too many hours, and got a little lax? If so, let that be a lesson to us all: don't push too hard; you'll only strain yourself producing crappy results.
:D
And finally, a classic for the ages:
Beauty and the Feces.Many thanks to my #2 wreckporters Kelli N., Wendi P., Stacey B., Jenny, & Sara B.
- Related Wreckage: Who Ordered the Poo Poo Platter?
Reader Comments (121)
*gag* 'scuse me-- *runs for the bathroom*
....
*flush*
Ok. I feel better now. I'll never eat cake again, but I feel better.
(whyyyyyyyy)
'Beauty and the Feces' maybe an upcoming movie? lol
What continues to amaze me is that people actually PAY MONEY for these hideous creations!
Now that is some SERIOUS pun-dropping talent under the fourth cake.
Hehe..."dropping." :)
Regarding the commenter who posted regarding offensive ads: I visit this site every day (sometimes more than once. . . I know. . . get back to work, Liz) and have never seen anything like that. The ads are almost always about wonderful-looking desserts and weight loss. Nice little feedback loop they've got going there. Anyway, certainly something could've slipped throug the cracks that may be worth investigating, but it isn't the norm to see any remotely sexual ads here in my experience. Just thought you should know in case you were worried.
Liz in Seattle
No warnings, Jen? Well you're in deep doo-doo now!
(I'm so sorry, I couldn't help myself)
I compare you to a kiss from a rose on the, er, poo?
Oh boy oh boy. What happened- they just had chocolate frosting and decided to pipe away??
yum... chocolate....
Yeah, what the heck is that last one supposed to BE? The others I can kinda see where they were going with it (coconuts, road to castle, um, grease stains left from spontaneous combusting x-men).
Smell as old as time
Rude as it can be
Went to get Depends™
Then somebody bends
Unexpectedly
Just a little push
Small to say the least
Someone had to share
From their derriere
Beauty and Feces
t
The problem with poo is, alas, it is the same color as chocolate.
(sigh...)
#4 hubbyman says "It's POOsteroids!"
Wow. Gee. To think people order and then "eat" these things...well, we don't have evidence of it, but the thought thereof leaves me...er...speachless.
...and I laughed my head off for the rest of the day...
This post really had me laughing!
About ads: there is an easy and 100% free way of not having to view ads.
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The first one excites me because my name is Megan and my husband is Kyle.
But then I look at the brown and am creeped out and don't want our names on that cake. :P
Totally SNORTED when I read E.M. Green's, um, song? :-)
Maybe the Princess Cake is Rapunzel's cake... Yeah, and... and... you just can't see HER... Just her Hair... and... and... ok, I got nothin'. Sorry. ;-)
The Curious George cake might have been cute, if not for those curiously shiny piles. I live in Hawaii, and none of the coconuts here (or the trunks of coconut trees) look like deer pellets. I imagine if they did, it would somewhat detract from the beauty of these islands.
I'm really trying to put myself in the wreckerators' shoes, to figure out what these must have looked like to them to make them think they were passable... Yeah, I got nothing.
Appart from the obvious poo factor, I'm still trying to determine what that last item is? Is it really a 2 piece CCC? A side view of a sheet cake? TELL ME!!
I could think of is this would make a hilarous break-up cake. Forget a "Dear John" letter. This would certainly get the message accross!
I actually read the comment about offensive ads three times thinking someone was trying to be ironic and I was just missing it. Guess I was wrong! Thank to the person who posted info about AdBlock Plus. I didn't know something like that existed.
wv: hople as in I hople people who read a humor site have a sense of humor.
If such an ad was found here, how on earth will you ever know it was removed without looking at the site again?
About that Curious George cake, I think it absolutely belongs here. Just because poo is well-executed, it's still poo. And pate de fois gras is still just liver. In either case, I don't know why people go to such lengths to defend something so dreadful! There are other colors to consider in the jungle besides poo-brown, you know. I think there were probably some bets taken back in the kitchen when that one was made. Also, same when pate was invented.
what IS that last one?! (besides a wreck of course)
Maybe that last one is a tribute to Outkast?:
"I know you like to think your sh*t don't stank
but lean a little bit closer, see
Roses really smell like poo-poo-poo!!"
:D
Hi Cake Wrecks,
I've been reading your blog for a long time, and thought that the fundraising you did before Christmas was amazing and inspiring. In the wake of the earthquake in Haiti, would you be up for calling on all of your readers to come together one more time? I know that organizations like the Red Cross and Partners in Health are accepting donations, among others.
Thanks for your consideration and for all of your hilarious posts!
Yay a Wolverine wreck! They seem to be comparatively rare. I was going to say 'thin on the ground' but that could go all kinds of nasty places. Meanwhile, from this angle, poor Wolvie looks like he's fallen over. Maybe 2 dimensional Magneto (pretty sure that's him and not Sabes) has discovered Wolvie's Kryptonite - or is that Kraptonite? Actually that would explain why Magneto is looking kind of flat. Those are some massive piles!
No matter how old I am, I will never. EVER. be too old to appreciate poop humor! :)
holy crap!
In the last one, I think the Beast was just marking his territory....
That last cake must have been ordered for an organic fertilizer sales convention.
If you squint your eyes and pretend a little, that last cake looks like the Beast's hand holding the enchanted rose. Right?
Holy poop references! That's pretty impressive that you squeezed all those into one paragraph.
The first cake, at least I can make sense out of the piles of poo and what they're intended to be. The other cakes? No! No reason. Just piles of poo.
anyone know of any 'Walter the Farting Dog' cakes (based on the kids books? I'm sure the wreckerators got really creative for those. It came up today when my friend said her son asked for Walter on a cake.
Question: is there any way that brown frosting could be used on a cake WITHOUT it looking like poo?
okay, i just returned to look at "Beauty and the Feces" one more once (great pun by the way).
There doesn't appear to be any CAKE associated with either pile of frosting - rose or otherwise. I wanna know - who orders something like this?
@shikishinobi - the title "the #2 way to ruin a cake" wasn't a clue today's topic might be a poopy post? even the second or third sentence mentioned the word poo... seems like there was plenty warning if you wanted to skip it.
Am I the only person who saw the "coconuts" that were in pairs of two and thought they looked an awful lot like the truck testicles?
Maybe some people didn't guess what "The #2 Way to Ruin a Cake" was going to be about, but I was pretty sure we'd be in for a poo report on this post. I mean what else is #2 likely to mean??
*dissolves into laughter*
I was at a party recently that had that exact Wall-E cake, complete with poo... whatever it's supposed to be. I almost took a pic but wasn't sure it qualified as a wreck. Now I know better!
to jo:
hahahahahahaha! "ass"-teroids. OMG! Hilarious!
And the paragraph of puns. AWESOME!
Beauty and the Feces = sheer brilliance. *lmao*
I wish I had something coherent to say, but in reality I am laughing so hard that I can't breathe!
Ohh, the puns! They huurrt!
OH MY GOODNESS! My husband's name is Kyle, our birthdays are a week apart, and he likes monkeys! I wonder if this is a cake we were supposed to see, but never did. . .
Talk about craptastic!!
(get it? Crap? Poop? oh, ha ha ha! I knew you would laugh! tee hee)
Ahahaha "Chain of poos"!!! You're killing me here!
Where'd yesterday's blog post go?
Couldn't take the heat? So you got out of the kitchen?
Joke.
I need a pregnancy joke instead...out of fertile ideas?
Hey, cake jokes are your job, not mine. Love your blog. :)
Oh...... wow.
This belongs in the "Classics" or "Fan Favorites" sections imho.
wow, you are funny as hell. Seriously.
HA HA HA!
Is "beauty and the" feces made entirely out of icing?
I think so!
(And those parenthesis are in exactly the right place!)
;)
Anonymous @3.53- I guess you could say they were ALL sheet cakes, if you have an accent- eef you get my dreeft ;-)
Amanda, Chocolate icing doesn't look quite so poo-like if you use a star tip...
Classic! You rock with the commentary!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! What a great way to start the day!