6 Wedding Wrecks That Make Me Glad I'm Already Married

Now here's a couple who really loves their Fruity Pebbles:

I don't know what the groom's supposed to be doing, but whatever it is, I'm pretty sure he's doing it wrong.

I am a HUGE steampunk fan. Ask anyone. They'll probably back away slowly and call the authorities, but still, go ahead and ask them. 

 That said...

No. 

 Just...no.

Look, nobody said ordering your wedding cake would be a bed of roses. 

If they were honest, though, they might have insinuated it'd be a lumpy tower of them:

What is...How...I don't even...

 Oh, never mind.

Then there's this:

Whoah, whoah, hang on, there! You're not allowed to just scroll down here like nothing happened! No, you march your virtual self RIGHT BACK UP THIS SCREEN and take a GOOD HARD LOOK at that wedding wreck. You hear me? And then you THINK ABOUT what that wreckerator has done. And how your six-year-old cousin could have done better - you know, the one with the late-blooming spatial awareness. And then maybe SNICKER a little more. And then - THEN - you be GRATEFUL for what you have and you move along.

 I'm a cat owner, so I know first hand that sisal rope - which is the stuff on their favorite scratching posts - has tiny sharp fibers that stick out all over and snag everything that gets near it.

 Which is why it's an EXCELLENT idea to wrap your wedding cake in it. That's right; go ahead and smoosh that snaggly hairy stuff right on down in the icing! People will love it!

MMMM.

 Also, is that loop on top a love knot, or a noose? YOU DECIDE.

 Saaay, I didn't know airline baggage handlers did wedding cakes, too!

Just look at that consistent quality of care! So realistic, your guests will be queuing up to file a claim!

(Watch out for the delivery fees, though; I hear only the first tier is free.)

Thanks to Katherine, Rainna A., Anony M., Brenda J., Alli B., & Sara for helping me continue to strike terror in the hearts of brides-to-be everywhere. MUAH-HA-HAA!

Wedding Missed Marks, Vol. 458

Ever seen Cornelli lace? It's this pretty icing technique Jennifer wanted on her wedding cake:

But instead, her baker got a little really drunk and had a silly string party:

Bottom Tier: "Hey, I think I'm actually better after a few drinks!"

Middle Tier: "MOAR BEER MOAR STRINGY THINGS WHEEEE"

Top Tier: [face down on the counter, blindly spraying icing all over the room]

Meanwhile...

Kimberly decided on something a little more rustic for her wedding:

...but this really goes against the grain:

And Brittany T. ordered this loveliness for her wedding cake:

You must admit, her baker did a crackin' job:

o.0

Also, if you watch those embedded BBs long enough, I'm pretty sure they'll slowly sink into the cake and disappear, ala the La Brea Tar Pits.

Who's hungry?

Thanks to Jennifer H., Kimberly W., & Brittany T. for fueling bride-to-be nightmares everywhere.

*****

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