There is no black and white...

Only shades of gray.

Well, at this bakery, at least. The order was for a black & white cake done in polka dots. Evidently the decorator decided that "black & white" meant to mix the two colors together, resulting in the lovely cement color you see here. Then, after using the airbrush to make the cake surface look like an advanced stage of leprosy, he or she decided it still needed that little extra "something": more dots! (And I love how the dots only go around the airbrushed bull's eyes, never over them: it kind of looks like ants swarming around their mounds.) Then, to finish it off (in more ways than one), said decorator slapped on an off-center birthday greeting - minus the exclamation mark, of course; such a display of festivity would be sorely (pun-alert!) out of place.

The bakery was so proud of this masterpiece that they refused to refund the birthday girl's family any money - even though she cried at the sight of it. [Shaking head sadly] Yeah, kids these days...I guess they just don't appreciate art when they see it.

It's a Texture Thing

"To reduce paper consumption, local elementary schools are having students practice their handwriting skills at area grocery store bakeries. More news at 11."

If this was the visual, you'd have to believe it, wouldn't you? Check out how the word "happy" is in all caps, but "birthday" is not. And then, inexplicably, the name is in cursive. It's like the writer was practicing different handwriting styles - or 3 toddlers each took turns writing.

Hey, the average person should know that the word 'birthday' is longer than the word 'happy', right? Can we agree on that? Good. Now look where this person started writing 'birthday'. Yeeeah.

This whole word-spacing thing wouldn't have been an issue, of course, if the person responsible had simply turned the cake right-side up. (You did notice it's upside-down, right? Of course you did, faithful Cake Wrecks reader!)

But perhaps worst of all is the fact that it looks like the yellow Teletubby poo'd out the whole inscription. Seriously, just look at it. Tell me that writing doesn't look the teensiest bit fecal.

Karen D, I'm so sorry you actually had to pay full price for this.