Grandpa's Order

"Sweetie, I get the feeling your father has been a little impatient for us to have a boy."

"Why do you say that, hon?"

"Oh, you know, all the baseball equipment for the girls' birthdays..."

"They loved those!"

"And the football helmets..."

"Once we painted the tiaras on they wore them all day."

"And you know earlier, when we told him we were having a boy this time? I'm sure that back flip couldn't have been good for his arthritis."

"Oh, he was just being cute, is all. I'm sure the thought of us having a boy is no more exciting for him than the thought of our having another girl."

"Riiight. Have you seen the cake?"

"He bought a cake?"

[silence]

"Er. Does he think we're naming the baby Finaly?"

"That's supposed to say 'finally', dear."

"Oooooh."

[more silence]

"So, do you want to tell him we were joking, or shall I?"

Amy W., I'd wait 'til after the cake was served.

Goy Gaffes

(Ok, so the assumption that these were NOT made by Jews is a leap, I know, but can't a girl hope?)

"A Star is (Not) Born"

Yes, technically a Star of David is two triangles intersecting, Bugsy - but not like this. And I think you can lay off the "poiple" icing now, too.

"The Teal Tornado"

As you can see, this traditionally-colored flaming whirlwind knocked the wording about and blew the second 'k' clean off. Of course, if for the sake of argument we called this a "menorah", then it's also missing a candle. The fact that the "candles" look like Christmas trees is just the icing on the, er, cookie. Mazel Tov!

And last but not least,

"The Religiously Confused"

How much you wanna bet this bakery has a bin of "Christmas Stars" in the back?

Thanks to Ebony W., Shanna M. and Frank R.!