Beauty is Only Skin Deep

If you think animated characters today set an unrealistic standard of beauty for your kids, then you're in luck! Today's cakes will show you some great ways to lower that standard, all while teaching important life-lessons!

First, remember, girls: strong jawlines = strong women.

Also, some things are better gotten off your chest.

While others - such as missing limbs, sagging chests, and worryingly large necks - are best left unmentioned:

On the plus side, questions like "Where's the rest of her choker? Or her arm? Or her ear?" can help distract viewers from misspellings. Case in point: did you notice "bithday"?

Brenda S., Courtenay P., Aaryn C., & Beth, these cakes are beautiful, no matter what they say.

- Related Wreckage: My Youngest Wreckporter

Love is in the Air...

It's wedding season, and the spirit of fairy-tale perfection is in the air. So naturally, I must CRUSH that spirit with tales of wedding cakes gone wrong!! Mwuahahahahah!

[patting hair] Ahem.

What Stacey H. wanted:

Nifty modern texture. I like it.

What Stacey got:

Erm, I'm pretty sure dragging a fork through crusted-over icing doesn't count as a "technique".

Anony Bride wanted a cake with tiers similar to this:

But instead she got tiers like this:

Something about the puffy wobbliness of this cake makes it look like a diaper cake to me - you know, those shower gifts made out of actual diapers? Which probably would have been sturdier, come to think of it: the weight of the wedding topper made this cake start to collapse in on itself.

This was Stephanie S.'s inspiration:

Which resulted in...this:

I'm not sure who gets the blame for the ribbon selection, but that neon teal "scroll work" combined with the black icing border is sufficiently Wrecky on its own.

And lastly, Vanessa wanted a single layer version of her wedding cake for her one-year anniversary. Here's her wedding cake:

Oooh, preeeetty.

And here's what she got for her anniversary cake:

Oooh, shii...er...NOT pretty.

Ah, the mismatched whites, the battle-scarred frosting, the ponderous folds of flabby fondant! Who else is inspired to throw a toga party?

- Related Wreckage: Wedding Wrecks