Well, Crud.

As some of you know, Jen and I spent this past weekend at Dragon*Con in Atlanta, which was awesome. However, part of the "fun" of this particular convention is that you get to share your personal space with 50,000 other geeks, many of whom are sweating disease through their Superman tights or are too burdened with enormous fake weaponry to cover their mouths before coughing in your eyes.

Which is all to say that Jen is currently sick as a dog. (Although I've never seen a dog whine as much as Jen, so I can only assume she must be sicker.) (Actually, I've never seen a sick dog at all. Who comes up with these clichés, anyway?)

So, baby?  Because I love you, I'm writing today's post.  No, no... don't thank me. You just stay right over there and keep folding that laundry; I wouldn't want the wrinkles to set. Oh, and I could use a refill. No rush! Just when you're done crushing the ice.

 *Ahem*

And SPEAKING of sick dogs...

 Hey, Sweetie, this remind you of anything?

HAHAHAHA!

 Sweetie? Where ya goin'? Jen?

 Hello?

 ****

 Well, I guess I better wrap this up. So...

Here's to Jen's speedy recovery! And really ugly golf balls.

You're welcome, baby.

(Say, my throat's starting to feel a little scratchy. And now Jen's staring at me with a creepy grin on her face. Should I be worried?)

Thanks to Shelli K., for the...  ah... ACHHOOO!!!  Oh crap...

The Bearly There Ninja Bears!

In every bakery there are treats that are so bad, they need protection from the cruel taunts, jabs, and giggles of Cake Wrecks readers.

Lucky for these hapless, hopeless wrecks, a group of mighty protectors have risen to...um...protect...and stuff.

We call them...

The Barely There® Ninja Bears!

Don't be fooled. Those bear pops may look cute, but make one false move and it's pandamonium.

Many bakeries have already employed this team of highly-dangerous bears to safeguard their most ridiculed desserts.

Consider yourself bamboozled.

With years of ninja training and camouflage mastery, these deadly assassins hide in plain sight.

The "poostronaut bear" is a popular disguise for ruthless killing machines:

"I am a ruthless killing machine."

There is no match for this vicious blood-thirsty beast, cleverly disguising himself as an overly-frosted sheepdog:

Do not underestimate his power to nuzzle you... to death!

 With ninja bear protection, wrecked cakes and cookies can be proudly displayed on the top shelf, with every hope of actually being purchased.

Don't laugh. The first two Adams laughed.

And never forget that they're watching you.
And they're Ninjas.
With no sense of humor.
So don't screw with them, man.

Thanks to Beth L., Jessica T., Elizabeth B., Courtney M., and Stephanie B. for the bear necessities.