Two Words, Bakeries:

Drug screening.

Seriously. You guys might want to look into it.

You also want to make sure the DTs are over.

"Triangle Man, Triangle Man,
Doing the things a triangle can..."

And just FYI, managers: Drawing a tuxedo-clad "Triangle Man" with webbed feet is not compelling evidence of sobriety. So you probably shouldn't pick that guy to do the window display:

On the other hand, if you ever have an occasion that calls for a clown to run over another clown who's broken in half while stabbing at a third clown - who's drowning - and all three to be surrounded by bucks, bucking broncos, and mysterious brown swirls in the sky... well, then, you should probably seek professional help.

Courtney C., Jen C., Kirsten K., & Samantha R., I get by with a little help from my friends.

*****

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8 St. Patrick's Cakes That Require Beer Goggles

TODAY, WE ARE ALL IRISH!!

Except maybe this guy:

 Yeah. Stay away from that guy.

Now listen, Wreckies, tonight while you're out ingesting all that green beer, I want you to remember: drinking-and-running-over leprechauns is NOT COOL.

Guess he forgot his lucky charms.

That said, a little alcohol might help explain this:

::head tilt::

Nope, I'm wrong. 

Only a LOT of alcohol can explain this.

Still don't know what they are, but I guess Trish has dibs.

And remember, boys and girls: seeing a giant beard with a popcorn mustache is fine:

  ... but when the beard starts talking, it's time to call it a night.

Another way you know the party's gone too long? 

When PBR starts making sense.

No, not the beer - PBR is Roy G. Biv's cousin. 

(Give it a minute.)

(Theeeere it is.)

 And while we're on the subject, let's give pot a wide berth tonight, too, ok?

'Cuz that thing looks nasty.

 Oh, but look! 

It's a St. Patrick's Day miracle!

  The dog turd is pooping a rainbow!

 LUCKY US.

Thanks to Mindy W., Holly F., Sarah S., Lindsay J., Stephanie V., Mel M., Marlie B., & Christina R. for refraining from pinching one off.

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