The Cake Head Diet Aid: Killing Appetites Since 2007

We've all been there: six weeks of rigorous dieting, all ruined by the sugar-paste encrusted morsels at cousin Jill's wedding. But what is today's bride to do? Is it possible to have the wedding cake of your dreams while still showing consideration to your dieting guests?

Yes, it is!

Introducing the Cake Head Diet Aid!

That's right, folks, just place the professionally decorated Cake Head Diet Aid alongside your wedding cake. It's that easy! In addition to being a delicious red velvet groom's cake, the Cake Head Diet Aid will effectively dissuade all but your most ravenous and/or non-squeamish of guests from indulging in the gut-busting baked goods. Guaranteed!

Here's what our happy customers are saying about the Cake Head Diet Aid:

"The children ran screaming - no sugar buzzed hellions at the reception! Thank you, Cake Head Diet Aid!"

"Never have I wanted to eat cake less. Just the thought of your product has kept me up nights, and I've lost over 15 pounds!"

"When my husband said the wrong name at the altar, I was ready to kill him. Slicing into the Cake Head Diet Aid, however, helped me vent enough of that murderous rage to make it to the annulment. And the jam filling - oh, that was the best part!"

As a bonus, your Cake Head Diet Aid is completely customizable! From football helmets to sunglasses, iPod earbuds to nose rings, you can make your Cake Head Diet Aid the spitting image of your husband-to-be while incorporating his favorite hobbies!

So girls, be kind to your guests waistlines while giving your guy his just desserts: order the Cake Head Diet Aid today!

Michelle D., I bet these work great at birthdays, too.

UPDATE: Alright, all you PhotoShop nay-sayers: there IS such a thing as edible image printing, mkay? I also verified that this came off a professional bakery's portfolio site, so chill wit' da hatin' , yo.

When Men Design Their Own Cakes

A groom's cake is the curious wedding tradition by which the husband-to-be celebrates his inner geek/jock/die-hard fill-in-the-blank fanatic in cake and icing form. This often involves sports logos, hunting paraphernalia, x-box consoles, or my personal favorite: the giant snickers bar.

This groom's cake, however, has taken a cake genre already known for its ridiculousness and lowered the bar even further. Here we have what appears to be a cut raw mid-section of rainbow trout - which, while disgusting, I guess makes sense if the guy is a fisherman, grocery clerk in the seafood section, or sushi enthusiast. What defies the imagination, however, are the daisies scattered across the trout slab. I mean, daisies? Really? Like, I dunno, the raw trout torso just needed that extra feminine touch? Why not slap the whole thing on a doily and be done with it?

The bakery responsible lays the blame squarely on the groom, explaining that the guy had a dog named Daisy and so wanted daisies on the cake. Yeeeeah. Fellas, stick with cool Star Wars grooms' cakes, will you?