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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Entries in Flotsam (8)

Thursday
Apr262018

Flotsam Plops

The concept is simple: take an otherwise passable cake, and then stick a completely unrelated piece (or pieces) of plastic flotsam on it. Voila! Flotsam plop.

Oh, and when I say "completely unrelated," I mean "completely unrelated."

And lo, unto us a carrot cake is borne.
And high, we suspecteth the Wreckerator was. Eth.

Look, this carrot cake was doing just fine without divine accompaniment - so why the plastic angel pick? Did the Wreckerator think that was actually helping, or was s/he meeting some flotsam distribution quota?

 

Care to pick a pack of plops?

The migrating guitar herd strikes again.

 

Here's how you pander to fanboys and fangirls everywhere:

No, no, it's not a blue dog - it's a BAT dog. Sha-pow!

 

Plus, that upside-down bat logo tells us he sticks to the ceiling!

Bringing "downward facing dog" to new heights.

 

Perhaps you don't think these examples have been ridiculous enough, though. Nooo problem. What would you say to Dora the Explorer's head stuck in another doll cake's lap?

Go ahead. Try and imagine that's just the world's largest, creepiest belt buckle.

Personally, I'd say "Hola, Dora! S-O-C-K-S!" Because that's all the Spanish I know. I never learned what it means, though, so here's hoping it's not something dirty. (Although, frankly, that might be appropriate here.)

I have some thoughts about the snowman in the gal's lap behind Dora, too, but for all our sakes I'll leave that to you guys in the comments.

 

So, just how bad is the flotsam plop epidemic getting?

This bad:

Because even cake sold by-the-slice needs accessorizing.
And Superman beats everybody at bowling.

 

Katrina S., Lisa K., Dawn, Frzn D., & Jane D., "flotsam plops" is officially my new favorite phrase. Flotsamplopsflotsamplopsflotsamplops. Heehee!

*****

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And from my other blog, Epbot:

Thursday
Jan282016

Let's. Get. FLOTSAMIZED.

Tell you what, bakers, I have a great idea: Forget decorating, just throw anything on there!

That's right, go nuts!

Cookies?

Sure!

 

Individually wrapped & stickered cookies?

Even better!

 

Lollipops buried in icing?

Why not?

 

An empty ice cream cone over a random pile of sprinkles?

Heck yeah!

 

The pulverized bits at the bottom of an M&M's bag?

YES YES YES.

 

But let's think outside the "edible" box. Think you can jam an entire book in there?

 

Or a big silk flower?

 

Oh! And some ribbon!!!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

HAHA...

*coughcoughcough*

*cough*

Ahem.

(gasping)
Man, I need a drink...

That'll do.

 

Thanks to Anna R., Mary W., Jenna M., Hayven A., Justine V., Tania S., Crystal B., Andrea and Anne Marrie, and Cami L. for remembering what's important in life. And what's important is being able to drink your topper.

*****

Thank you for using our Amazon links to shop! USA, UK, Canada.