Why Are the Children Screaming?

"I don't get it - we just brought out the cakes, and poof! Mass hysteria!"

I'm not sure which is worse: Dead "Lips" the Clown or Homicidal Horned Boo-Boo here. On the plus side, I'm guessing any parent who serves these will never have to buy circus tickets for the kiddies ever again. Of course, that benefit might be slightly offset by all the therapy those kids are going to need...

Stephanie L. and Katie H., do you suppose these decorators had TCE's as children? (That's "Traumatic Clown Encounter".)

Play It Again, Wrecks.

Proving that the lightning of horrendous taste does indeed strike more than once, here are some designs that may look a wee bit familiar:

Remember this?
Here's another bride who thought an edible version of herself was a smashing idea:

We can only hope that the baker wasn't finished when this photo was taken, of course. I would assume this is the "topper" for an edible skirt - but it's anyone's guess why there are no arms.

Next up: remember the unforgettable baby bum cake? Well, it evidently started a trend:

This just might be more disturbing than the original Wreck, since there isn't even a possibility of the front end existing. It's just a bisected baby with waxy-looking legs being cruelly taunted with that tiny little teddy bear. I mean, really, how's she supposed to play with that? Sheesh, some people are so insensitive...

But(t) wait: there's more! Yes, if that doesn't strike your fancy, here's an assortment of bums to choose from - with the added dubious advantage of looking absolutely nothing like a baby's lower half:

Continuing the shower theme (since it tends to be the worst offender), let's move on to the Wreck that introduced the word "wachungas" into my vocabulary:

As many of you have pointed out, this is actually a beautifully done cake: it's just a wrecktastic design. Brace yourself, though, because this is about to become a veritable beacon of subtlety and good taste. Ready? Here goes...

I think I saw this outfit modeled on one of Maury Povich's "Who's the Daddy?" episodes.

But even that is restrained compared to this:

Because every woman who's 8 months pregnant just loves getting Brazilians and lounging in a teensy tiny bikini...with her stethoscope.

Um. What?

Oh, wait, I get it! The stethoscope is cold, see? That explains the whole Cuban missile crisis issue going on up there, if ya knowuddamean.

And lastly, please put down any food or beverage items, because I unfortunately must remind you of this dry-heave-inducing creation:

Everyone still have those beverages at a safe distance? No food in your mouths? Ok, good. Proceed.

And with that, I will leave you. Enjoy your lunches now, y'hear?

Thanks to Joy D., Stephanie F., Summer, Marz, & J.B. for the photos.