Extra Terrible

What the customer said:
“So we’re throwing a going-away party for our friend, and we’d like you to write “Good luck at U.C.”, since that’s the college she’s going to. Also, she’s a big E.T. fan – you know, from the movie? – so we want to incorporate that somehow. I’ll leave it up to you; we just want something E.T.- related on it. Can you do that? Yeah? Cool! Thanks!”

What the decorator heard:
“Blah blah blah, write blah E.T. blah blah on it. Blah.”

What the decorator was thinking:
“Okey doke, easy peasy, now I’ll just write 'Good Luck'... oh, wait: does 'good' have two 'o's or two 'd's? Dang. Oh well, I’ll just make this letter look a little like both. There! No one will notice anyway. Ok, and then: 'at…U.C…'...thank goodness that doesn’t need any periods; those are so hard to do with this icing! Ok, let’s see here…you know, I think I'm going to go the extra mile for these folks and write E.T. on it THREE times. And I’m pretty sure just the 'E' has a period… yeah, that looks right. Dum dee dum…. There! All done! Aw, they are just going to love me.”

Cake Wreckin' Under-Achievers, Unite!

You know how it is for some of these grocery-store bakery decorators: some days they're just not reaching their full cake-wrecking potential. On those days they give their airbrush, questionable design choices, and horrific color palettes a rest, and instead produce a simpler, quieter kind of wreck. A wreck that says, with world-weary disdain, "Hey, I make $7 an hour. Deal with it."

I guess the cracked icing counts as decoration.

While I'm sure Tim appreciated the baby-pink roses for his big 4-0, I get the feeling that someone really enjoyed skewering the cake with those candles, dartboard style.

This cake is Cake Wrecks approved! Way to knock yourselves out, there, decorators!
(They get bonus points for the random capitalization.)

Thanks to Lindsey W., Jessica B., and Phoebe H. for the submissions.