A Sharin' Birthday

Most of you don't read the comments here on CW, but if you did you'd know that, almost every day, there's a new parody song written out there themed to that day's wrecks. The songs are hilarious, and over the years they've even accumulated their own fan club: readers who I'm starting to suspect just look at the pictures and then skip straight to the comments. (That's right; I'M ON TO YOU GUYS.)

The songs are written by Sharyn, a long-time fan who has since been drafted onto our writing team. But even though she writes for us "prefessionally" now, Sharyn still writes those custom songs, every morning, within minutes of the post going live. (And no, she doesn't get advance warning; she really IS that quick.)

I've only met Sharyn once, on our last book tour. She caught a flight to Texas just to see us, and once John and I determined she was one of the cool stalkers (versus the axe-wielding kind) we took her to lunch.

Don't mess with... whatever this is.

A year or two later we begged Sharyn to write for us, and ever since she's helped pull me through all the nothing-feels-funny times. She's constantly sending me encouraging notes...

... and spoiling me with endless craft supplies. Plus she keeps John supplied in his favorite brand of popcorn. So basically she's the young, hip godmother I never had.

Today Sharyn is one of my dearest friends, and today is also her birthday. So, Sharyn:

Just kidding.

I also got you a horse with two chainsaws for arms/legs:

Because you've earned it.

Yep, that cake is totally sitting right here. Honest. If only you were here so I could serve you a slice. [[poker face]]

And now, Sharyn, allow me to conclude my conclusion with a little birthday ditty, just for you:

THIIIIIIIS is your birthday song:

It isn't very long.
HEY!

Happy Birthday, Sharyn. We love you.

(Now, how's Monday's post coming?)

Thanks to Emily D., Kate M., Amy B., Joan A., Greer D., Annalyn D., & my very own hubby John for helping with Sharyn's surprise party post. Y'all be sure to wish her many more in the comments, k?

Wheelin' & Dealin'

Have you seen the latest wreckage to hit the news?

See, apparently a bride named Cecilia ordered this for her wedding:

And got this instead:

Yowch.

Of course, bridal tears like this are nothing new, but Cecilia's next move was: she decided to sell her wreck on ebay. She later said it was only a joke, but there were still several bids in by the time she cancelled the auction. (I like to think the bidders planned to use it as a divorce cake, because the irony would be delicious.)

While I'm always glad to see a bride with a sense of humor, the fact remains that this is a tragedy, and one which no doubt has us all thinking the same thing:

A tire cake for a wedding? Really?

Still, it could have been worse. Cecilia could have asked for her tires monster-truck sized. And pink.

There's a "making donuts in the parking lot" joke in here SOMEWHERE, I just know it.

Granted, that cake is the figurative Beverly Hills to Cecilia's Skid Row (see what I did there?), but take heart, Cecilia:

At least yours didn't have a real hubcap on it.

[scrolls back up]
[squints]

No, yeah, yours is still worse, Cecilia. Sorry.

Thanks to all eleventy billion of you who sent in that first wreck via The Huffington Post, and also to Lisa H. and Sommer T., who recommend the side of the road at the downtown overpass for primo free wedding cake toppers.