Wheelin' & Dealin'
August 14, 2013 Have you seen the latest wreckage to hit the news?
See, apparently a bride named Cecilia ordered this for her wedding:
;)
And got this instead:
;)
Yowch.
Of course, bridal tears like this are nothing new, but Cecilia's next move was: she decided to sell her wreck on ebay. She later said it was only a joke, but there were still several bids in by the time she cancelled the auction. (I like to think the bidders planned to use it as a divorce cake, because the irony would be delicious.)
While I'm always glad to see a bride with a sense of humor, the fact remains that this is a tragedy, and one which no doubt has us all thinking the same thing:
A tire cake for a wedding? Really?
Still, it could have been worse. Cecilia could have asked for her tires monster-truck sized. And pink.
;)
There's a "making donuts in the parking lot" joke in here SOMEWHERE, I just know it.
Granted, that cake is the figurative Beverly Hills to Cecilia's Skid Row (see what I did there?), but take heart, Cecilia:
At least yours didn't have a real hubcap on it.
;)
[scrolls back up]
[squints]
No, yeah, yours is still worse, Cecilia. Sorry.
Thanks to all eleventy billion of you who sent in that first wreck via The Huffington Post, and also to Lisa H. and Sommer T., who recommend the side of the road at the downtown overpass for primo free wedding cake toppers.
Reader Comments (69)
"The wheels are a bust" goes round and round
Round and round
Round and round
"The wheels are a bust" goes round and round
Here inside my head.
No offense, all of you tire-lovers/tire-worshippers out there ( I hear tell that it's somepin like "eleventy billion"--wink)...But seriously, folks... for a wedding?? Well, who am I to judge? To each his (or her) own.
Hey--when the wedding bells start to ring, do they PEAL OUT??? ((Screeeecchhhh!!))
=^>.<^=
I don't even want to think about what eating all that black food dye would do to one's insides.
Because nothing says love and togetherness like tires do. I wonder if there marriage has advanced rain shedding abilities too?
My friend's family owns a bakery and when my son wanted a cake with black icing (the party theme was secret agent), my friend warned me that black icing causes "digestive distress." So maybe Cecilia got lucky.
Tiers, tires, and tears.
These cakes leave treadmarks on my
eyes, heart, intestines.
Ahh Sharyn to live in that funny mad head of yours for a day would be great :D those cakes make me do major headdesks D:
I don't know what appalls me more - the sight of that wreck or the notion that people actually want wedding cakes that look like tires!
Sending's pun!
Aren't those big pink round things what you sit on if your 'roids are playing up?
@susan: I'm not so sure about black icing causing digestive "distress", but I have "heard" that it may cause green *things* to *happen*...which could be distressing if "one" wasn't expecting it...
=^-.-^= (Ick...do you MIND?)
I can understand themed cakes for birthdays or themed parties but weddings? I just don't get it, what's wrong with a wedding cake that looks like a wedding cake? There are amazing cakes that don't try to look like... things.
And no, don't tell me about "themed weddings". Weddings have already a theme, it's "let's celebrate our marriage", not "let's pretend I'm a princess for one day so I'm allowed to make the most preposterous requests, from decorations to the guests' choice of clothes". Yes Bridezillas, I'm talking to you, the point of all that is getting married, not spending the fortune you don't have.
But in the case you'd still have a theme wedding just for the fun of it (which I don't get anyway, a masquerade party is more appropriate for that), a tire cake?????
I must be getting old...
Haiku Joy, that was inspired.
I was thinking that last one was kind of a cute cake for a mechanic's birthday party (in my innocent little mind I thought maybe his wife had made it for him, which really is a pretty good attempt for a non-professional). And then I saw the knife and cake server with purple ribbons around them . . .
Of course I thought of you, Jen, as soon as I saw the Huffington Post story, but I'm glad I didn't send it to you. I figured you couldn't *not* see it, and obviously I was right. In conclusion, that hubcap takes the, er, well, you know. ;-)
wheel, all I can say is that I hope after the vows have been spoke-n, I hope the couples never tire of each other and the rest of their lives are good years....
@M.: If "getting old" means still having some class/taste/respect for a (supposedly) solemn occasion, then color me old, too. Cute for a bachelor party gig, but the actual wedding?
But...whatever, y'know? It's their day, not mine! Live it up, guys! You only live once or twice...!
=^-.-^=...9?
@mel:
Aye Caramba! I laughed so hard that I cried-and I cried SO MUCH that I had to tread water....
Soooooo, tires for a wedding cake...what happens in 5,000-10,000 miles when they need to be rotated? Is there a another couple that you switch up partners with? I'll just keep chugging along and pass on by that offramp on the highway of life.
Is it really wrong of me to squeal with delight when you post the "What they ordered vs. What they got" pictures? sorry, not sorry
So does this mean the CAKES are wedding crashers...? (Because they do look like accident scenes.)
Anybody else think that these may be the rubbers for Thor's Hammer?
(Sorry, still stuck in that vein...)
@Donna: I have to agree! Wouldn't you kind of think that the couple would actually check- somewhere along the line (and, ideally, BEFORE the actual wedding) to see how the cake is "coming along", or if it's at least "not running into complications", or maybe even "turning into a complete and utter disaster"? I mean, what did they do, just assume that the whole thing would come off without a hitch? How presumptuous.
=^u.u^=((sigh))
"P.S.": LOOK at that second photo! The cake appears to be tethered to the trunk of a car! (Just when you thought things couldn't GET any classier...)
@sendingtheclowns: the description of your crying fit has given me the image of Alice in Wonderland just before she floats away through the keyhole, except Alice is replaced by a clown. So, thanks for that. *shudder*
Unlike @M., I can see how it might be fun for a couple to have a themed wedding (as long as they are not dictating guest attire (hehe, at-TIRE, hehe) or gifts or what have you). Like @M. and others, I just don't get the whole tire theme. IS 'tires' a theme? Sorry, Cecilia, don't mean to bash the Wreckporter. To each his own.
The pink ones look like giant glazed doughnuts, and thus, I cannot speak against them because anganghangh *drooling* : - P
Attention Cecilia's wreckerator: Those tires are supposed to be black? I don't think that word means what you think it means.
Genius Sharyn, just pure genius....
Eat any of these
Poop black for a couple weeks
Good times had by all
Hmmmm.....I'm a little suspicious of that guy in the third photo. He might be up to no good. Haven't you heard how the latest "wedding prank" involves letting the air out of the couple's cake?
=^~.-^=
So that's why one of my hubcaps disappeared while I was out yesterday! Someone needed it for a cake topper! I'm sure my husband will be glad to know. :)
Eek! That second photo is one I sent in. I don't even know how I found it, but really - when ordering your wedding cake, who thinks "peach tires & green ivy"?!
@Just Andrea;
“Curiouser and curiouser!” (Such as these cakes are becoming...)
=^! !^=
Not even a million cans of Fix-a-Flat could repair these wrecks.
Blink... Blink, blink...
Tires. For a wedding cake? Nope, got nothin'.
Tires are a thing for weddings? Who are you marrying; a Goodyear tech?
Yikes.
Honest question, folks... why are some of you clutching your pearls over the fact that some people want wedding cakes that don't look the way you think they should? It's not your wedding, it's not your cake, so get over it.
Jen, I donut know any "making donuts in the parking lot" jokes, but if someone else does, I bet it'll be a crumby one.
=^-.-^=
I fully understand wanting a tire wedding cake. I was married at my local drag strip and this would have fit the theme of our wedding perfectly. We did not see this option and instead had a beautiful cake with edible sugar pictures of our race cars on it with matchbox cars for the topper.
I had a very traditional wedding (and cake), but instead of a unity candle, we strapped into a snowboard together. The ceremony referenced "binding" several times. It was meaningful to us and people that know us, because it was how we met and a huge part of our lives. If someone can incorporate something unique into their wedding without it being trashy (the first pic, as the cake was intended to look, is still a nice cake, and unique), more power to them.
Throughout the whole post, I kept hoping that the baker mistakenly read "tires" when the order said "tiers" on these wedding cakes. You mean........these cakes........were ordered.........ON PURPOSE????? (cue scary music)
The bride and her husband are bikers, hence the relevance of the tyres. It was also a play on the word tiers......the cake choice is relevant to them and their lifestyle.
This tire represents your love for each... it is without beginning and without an end...
You picked a fine time to leeeeave me Loose Wheel...
"Hit the road, Jack....and don't come back no more, no more, no more..." And don't let the screen door hit you on your way out, Honey.
I never thought I'd see evidence that someone doesn't know what the color black looks like. Or that car tires don't usually look like Smarties.
Jen, I donut know any "making donuts in the parking lot" jokes, but if someone else does, it will probably be a crumby one...or even more, if one dozen't mind!
@Just Andrea: Well, these cakes do seem to be looking "curiouser and curiouser"...
@Dangerboy: ((Giggles!!))
THAT'S what happened to my Chevy hub cap. Mystery solved.
And here's Cecilia and her hubby a few years later.
<http://awkwardfamilyphotos.com/2010/06/26/saturday-night-special-roadside-assistance/>
I was married at my local racetrack and a tire cake would have been great! We did see this option and had a traditional cake with edibile sugar pictures of our race cars on it with matchbox cars as the topper. I see nothing wrong with asking for a cake that means something to you.
Some of these tire puns are falling flat. Please, spare us.
Maybe the cake she ordered wasn't even supposed to look like tires? The design itself could be kind of classy, especially with the little roses, if it were done in another color--the black icing is really what makes it look like tires, but maybe she was just having a black-and-white wedding and for whatever reason didn't want a primarily white cake? (It's the only thing I can figure out, other than that her husband is a mechanic or a race-car driver.)
@Stumpp Beefgnaw: Well, I guess you told US a thing or two. Speaking only for myself, though, I'm not "clutching" any "pearls."(Heck, I don't even LIKE pearls! All THEY are is bits of grit coated in oyster spit!) But it's not that these cakes "don't look the way you think they should" (as you say) either. The simple truth is: these cakes are ridiculously wrecky, and we all love a good laugh! How do YOU know the actual recipients didn't send the photos in themselves? Hmmm? You don't, and you can't. But what's really important is WE DON'T CARE-they're hilarious! Now, shoo~I think I heard someone calling you.
=^-.-^=