We're Pretty Sure It's Not About Drugs

[All together, now!]  

Puff, the farting unicorn

is so gas-sy.

He frolics with his wrecky friends

in a chain store bakery!

Lounging Staypuft ponies

love that rascal Puff.

But Sparkle Faceplant broke two legs

when things got kinda rough.

Ohhhhh.....

Together they would hunt down

all the zombie cookie fails.

And try to keep down incidents

when ponies got impaled.

They never tease poor Pokey

for his sad horn and mane.

But they steer clear of Horny here

That guy is just insane...

[Whoa!]

Magical thanks to Leann S., Andrea and Anne-Marie S., Andrea McP., Cathy S., Allison H., Elaine E., Ladylockeout, and Stacey H., for helping me wreck one of the most depressing children's songs EVER.

*****

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The Labor of Love

Sure, you could go with rubber duckies and baby blocks, but that's sooo last decade. Today's shower cakes are all about the biology of baby-making: tasty and educational!

And while you're at it, why not congratulate dad, too?

Of course, mom also did her part:

Whoah, whoah, whoah! TMI, Dad, TMI!

You could even illustrate the whole process with the aid of disturbing plant analogies:

Raise your hand if you're going to have nightmares about daisies sprouting Alien-style from your midsection tonight. Anyone? Anyone? Just me? Alrighty, then.

Granted, the process doesn't always start exactly the same way:

Thank goodness that cup is labeled. Otherwise, we'd have some concerned coffee drinkers on our hands right about now.

And what does all this love math equal?

(No, your eyes do not deceive you: that IS a Fetal Bite cookie in that there uterus cake. Excellent.)

And that brings us to the Big, Life-Changing Moment!

AAAAAAUUUGGGHHHH!!

Yep, I'm changed for life.

Casey D., Heidi D., Hillary M., Kristin J., Jess, Shari W., & Tiffany D., when you're ready to have "the talk" with your kids, feel free to come back here for visual aids.

*****

Thank you for using our Amazon links to shop! USA, UK, Canada.