Clean Out Your Fridge Day

Today is National Clean Out Your Fridge Day! I know, I'm excited, too... mostly because the only things in my fridge are a box of old butter and a half-eaten tube of cookie dough. Still, for those of you who only wish they were so lucky, here are a few handy guidelines:

You might need to clean out your fridge if:

...you're staring at your leftovers and they start staring back.

...last week's pizza is flakier than your Aunt Milda's scalp.

...your lemons and limes are "spreading their seeds."

...last week's spaghetti and meatballs remind you to get your prostate checked.

...your squeaky-clean crisper gets more squeaky than clean.

...the top shelf items band together to form a new life form.

And the kids want to keep it.

And, lastly, if you see this in your fridge:

You should probably move.

Myra T., Eric B., Hillary G., Laura P., Leah C., Rachel P., Sibel D., & Candi S., call me if you find any pudding cups back there. I'll send you my address.

Beautiful Wrecks

YOU GUYS. We have another special VIDEO post today!

Or, if your work computer won't let you view video, keep scrolling for the written version.

Every cake is so wonderful,

And suddenly...

it's hard to breathe.

Now and then, I get insecure
From all the pain...

(Ow.)

I'm so ashamed.

I am beautiful,

No matter what they say.

Words can't bring me down.

I am beautiful in every single way.
Yes, words can't bring me down, oh no.

So don't you bring me down today.

To all your friends, you're delirious.
Ice cream cones... to make their horns...

Tryin' hard to make some sense of it. Wait, are those bugles?
Is it a cow-duck with horns and a goatee?

Cause you are beautiful, no matter what they say.
Words can't bring you down.

You are beautiful in every single way.
Words can't bring you down. NoOooOoooOOOooo....
So don't you bring me down today.

No matter what we poo.

No matter what we bake.

And everywhere we go,
The suananaaaIIOOOAAAAa NNOOOO NOO NOOooooOO ooooooooo

We are beautiful, no matter what they pay.
Camo flower town.

NoooooooOoo.

We are beautiful in every single way.
Words can't bring us down. No no no no no mmmm MMMM mm....

So don't you bring me down today.

OooooOOOOUgggnhh... MMmmmnOOOooAAH!
Don't you bring me downtooaaaaayyyyyyyyaAAAAAHHHHH

AAAOooooOOhh...

So don't you bring me down..... ughhnnnn....


Today.

Zakes C., Maja, Liz D., Lesley M., DaAn D., Caroline M., Haley H., Geri B., Rachel S., Bob B., Sue S., & Amy B., awoooawoooeeeeoaaaahhhhow. No matter what they say.

Note from john: If you're wondering who's singing in the video, it's our very own Number 1 aka Jennifer Dorsman. And yes, she really is that good. Makes you sick, doesn't it?