Love is in the Air...

It's wedding season, and the spirit of fairy-tale perfection is in the air. So naturally, I must CRUSH that spirit with tales of wedding cakes gone wrong!! Mwuahahahahah!

[patting hair] Ahem.

What Stacey H. wanted:

Nifty modern texture. I like it.

What Stacey got:

Erm, I'm pretty sure dragging a fork through crusted-over icing doesn't count as a "technique".

Anony Bride wanted a cake with tiers similar to this:

But instead she got tiers like this:

Something about the puffy wobbliness of this cake makes it look like a diaper cake to me - you know, those shower gifts made out of actual diapers? Which probably would have been sturdier, come to think of it: the weight of the wedding topper made this cake start to collapse in on itself.

This was Stephanie S.'s inspiration:

Which resulted in...this:

I'm not sure who gets the blame for the ribbon selection, but that neon teal "scroll work" combined with the black icing border is sufficiently Wrecky on its own.

And lastly, Vanessa wanted a single layer version of her wedding cake for her one-year anniversary. Here's her wedding cake:

Oooh, preeeetty.

And here's what she got for her anniversary cake:

Oooh, shii...er...NOT pretty.

Ah, the mismatched whites, the battle-scarred frosting, the ponderous folds of flabby fondant! Who else is inspired to throw a toga party?

- Related Wreckage: Wedding Wrecks

Copyright Unfringement

Technically, you know, if you want to get all law-abiding about it, you have to have permission to use copyrighted characters on cakes.

Or, you can try one of these techniques:

1. The Alter-Ego:

Of course it's not Thomas the Train. It's Loco Larry, the Mentally Unstable Locomotive.

2. The Unibrow:

Is that a seagull on your face, or are you a licensed Disney character? (Seagull. Duh.)

3. The Brother By a Different Mother:

"Okay Super...uh...Sam?...just keep your hands where I can see them!"

4. The Foreign Equivalent:

"Que Pasa, El Lightningo?"

"Hola, Senior Rustico."

"Isn't it nice how we are completely original foreign creations in no way affiliated with Disney or its subsidiary companies?"
"Si."

Tracy L., Ed S., Erin M., & Emily S., er, none of you are lawyers, right?

- Related Wreckage: Guess Who!