With This Wreck, I Thee Wed

It seems I never fail to underestimate your insatiable desire for wedding wreckage. And sprinkles. You guys always want sprinkles.

Two birds? Meet your stone:

Sha-POW!

Not crumby enough for you? Try this:

Because naked wedding cakes have more Funfetti.

"Ooh, you guys, I've got it! Ok, picture this: we have the happy couple, in their wedding finery, scaling a giant turd. Eh? EH?!"

Bam. Nailed it.

"People, I know we can fit a few more pieces of plastic on here! WE JUST AREN'T TRYING HARD ENOUGH."

"Barb, you fetch the curling ribbon while Sam and I open another bag of aquarium greenery. Move, move, move!"

We all know there's a lot of crying at weddings. Fortunately, this couple decided to put all the used tissues to good use:

You might think it's icing holding all those together, but I'm here to tell you: it's not.

Thanks to Heather B., Sarah L., Brittany P., Lesley W., & Danielle N. for the tear-jerkers.

The Future Is Now, And It's Talking Smack

With the arrival of the new SIRI for iPhone, we here at Cake Wrecks started thinking about all the other electronics that can or soon will be talking to us.

In a way it's comforting. Think about it: conversation without the annoying presence of actual humans? WIN.

Plus, imagine the wonders of a world where this happens:

"I'm sorry, Dave; it's 2AM and your blood alcohol level is currently above the legal limit. I'm afraid I can't let you dial your ex right now."

Still, I suppose there could be downsides:

[beepbeep] "WARNING: recent social media data has shown that pin-striped flames on a Kia Soul aren't nearly as bad-ass as you think they are. Please try again."

Plus, eventually all talking technology starts thinking it knows what's best for us:

"Would you like to play a game of Rock Band?"

"Then perhaps we should work on your hand/eye coordination. Based on your previous scores, I have determined you are far better suited for a game of Pong. Please stand by for level one."

And then you KNOW these things are going to get all smarty-pants sarcastic on us, right?

"Hey, way to go on that last round of Portal 2. Really impressive. I believe you even set a new record: Longest time spent cursing a potato.

"By the way, you're making me long for the Red Ring of Death over here. Might I suggest a shower? Or a wet wipe?"

And I shudder to think what our remote controls would say...

"I know how many hours of Jersey Shore are on your TiVo, man. DON'T PUSH ME."

Thanks to Luci, Rachel S., Heather B., Diane B., & Kimberly V. for showing us... THE FUTURE. Now, I'm off to have a heart-to-heart with the toaster. When the day comes, I want that thing on my side.